Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 13 14

Original poster

To be livid about hand hygiene offence?

336 replies

Yummymummy2020 · 01/03/2020 20:07

To cut it short but rant. Partners family taking offence at being asked to use hand sanitiser or wash hands before handling our new baby. Particular offence taken at asking the children to use it. I know I’m not unreasonable wanting hand hygiene to be followed before touching our new born, but I feel like really distancing myself from them over this. It’s not just about the corona virus I’m concerned about the baby picking up anything as they are so young. To add to this, certain members are living with a currently sick person which I feel makes it even more crucial to ensure their hands are clean. Would it be really unreasonable to just keep away until the baby has their vaccinations? I know this won’t solve colds/flu but at least the child can have calpol if they do get sick. I’m also annoyed for being called odd by them for wanting them to make sure to use the gel or wash their hands. I have the gel by the way I’m not demanding anyone track it down. I’m livid right now so don’t want to say/ act on anything in haste!

OP posts:

Cremebrule · 01/03/2020 22:16

I didn’t worry with my first summer born. My second has been permanently ill- probably as a result of my first being at nursery. She left hospital with a cold and has been hospitalised twice with different infections. It’s easy to be blasé if you’ve never had to worry.

MindyStClaire · 01/03/2020 22:16

Washing your hands before holding a newborn is standard isn’t it?

I've seen it mentioned on here, but not come across it once in real life. DC1 is nearly 2, we're expecting DC2, and at 35 we're in that stage of life where I can't keep up with how many babies friends have had and have lost count of the numbers of newborns I've held in the last few years.

Obviously, we don't visit if we think any of us may be sick for any reason (much delayed meeting my closest friend's two babies because of this), but no, have never washed hands, used hand sanitiser or seen anyone else do so.

CustardySergeant · 01/03/2020 22:21

Washing your hands before holding a newborn is standard isn’t it?

Well it certainly should be. I wouldn't need to be asked, any more than I would need to be asked before handling food. Some things are (or should be) automatic.

Onesailwait · 01/03/2020 22:21

I think it's perfectly reasonable. First thing we do when we get home or get to somebody else's house is wash our hands.

Original poster

Yummymummy2020 · 01/03/2020 22:23

I should add the hospital did say insist on hand washing or sanitiser before holding baby, this of course also applied to us too, we wouldn’t ask or expect anyone to do anything we are not doing. I believe this is common advice in the nhs, maybe different trusts are not as particular. I don’t mind if people hand wash over gel at all, in fact it’s probably better just the gel is more convenient for most folks. I’ll have no issues with baby picking up germs when they are older, I don’t think the newborn phase is the best time for that personally. I also am as polite as possible when requesting hand hygiene, I generally say would you mind terribly using some gel or soap before you hold baby as the hospital insisted on it. Baby was premature and quite sick at birth so this is why we are anxious. I should have mentioned that in the first post though opinions are very mixed so it might not make a difference to some! I suppose ideally we want to avoid having to bring a new baby to a crowded hospital if we can avoid it as we were warned that the baby could not be treated at home if unwell at all for the first while. I definitely am anxious about them getting Poorly though the poster that said that is totally right! But it’s not that I’m consumed by it, I’m very happy for people to hold the baby if they follow hand hygiene before hand!

OP posts:

MindyStClaire · 01/03/2020 22:24

I think it's perfectly reasonable. First thing we do when we get home or get to somebody else's house is wash our hands.

My skin would be in tatters! We wash our hands before preparing food, after handling raw meat, going to the bins or using the bathroom. Wouldn't even occur to me to do otherwise.

Obviously different if there is someone with a severely compromised immune system in the house, but for the rest of us there really is such a thing as too clean.

Onesailwait · 01/03/2020 22:26

Your skin would be in tatters after washing your hands a couple of times a day?. You must have very sensitive skin!

MindyStClaire · 01/03/2020 22:26

Baby was premature and quite sick at birth so this is why we are anxious.

OP that is a massive, massive drip feed. Of course in those circumstances you're not being unreasonable at all. But for a typical, healthy newborn you would be very over cautious, which is what people will have assumed when replying to the thread.

I hope your baby is recovering well and things calm down soon.

MindyStClaire · 01/03/2020 22:27

Well, yes, and it's really suffered since having DD and washing my hands more often due to nappy changes, doing more food prep etc. I just completely fail to see the reason for washing hands every time you come home.

ShriekingBansheela · 01/03/2020 22:30

So those of you who don’t think hand washing is necessary: would you refuse and make a family row about it if your newly delivered DIL asked you to?

Mydogatemypurse · 01/03/2020 22:30

Just dont have visitors for a bit. It's less stressful that way anyway x

pelirocco123 · 01/03/2020 22:31

I am fairly laid back when it comes to germs, but i would always wash hands before picking up a baby and would prefer to have something squeaky clean between my clothes and baby

Original poster

Yummymummy2020 · 01/03/2020 22:33

@MindyStClaire sorry about That , when I wrote the original post in annoyance I had In my head that it was common knowledge even though of course it isn’t, just all our friends and family know about it as it was a big thing for us and a very stressful time, I should have took the time to explain the circumstances fully and not shared all the facts that led to my annoyance .Baby is doing good which I hope is in part to how careful we have been, and hopefully we will be able to keep things that way. Some people will still likely feel it’s over the top if some family members do!

OP posts:

Rosebel · 01/03/2020 22:34

I want to say YABU because I never made anyone do this but I generally often see people who leave the toilet without washing their hands. It always makes me feel slightly sick. Young children are even worse at hand hygiene so I can certainly see your point.
Ultimately as it's your baby it's your choice. If people don't want to comply they can't hold the baby.

Original poster

Yummymummy2020 · 01/03/2020 22:35

@Mydogatemypurse I’m really thinking of that at this point to save the stress just the last thing I want is a bigger row if I can help it! There might not be an option though if I want to keep my sanity!

OP posts:

Ladiva1971 · 01/03/2020 22:36

I am 48 and my children are 32, 27, 24 and 20 I let them eat dirt go out naked in the snow, as I did Germs are good for the body!! More people are sick now due to the fact that everybody is obsessed with using wipes that kill 99.9% of bacteria. Your body NEEDS GERMS to build your immune system.

Pukkatea · 01/03/2020 22:38

Most bog standard hand gels won't do anything about viruses, which would be the things most likely to make a baby sick, and even then, breathing in the vicinity of the baby is more risky.

Thelnebriati · 01/03/2020 22:42

Your body needs exposure to germs to build your immune system but newborns don't have a working immune system, and don't develop one for 3 months.
health.clevelandclinic.org/is-your-newborn-babys-immune-system-strong-enough/

Springinsight · 01/03/2020 22:43

I absolutely asked family members (who didn't already) to wash hands, and the nice reasonable ones didn't take anything personally at all.

The ones who are arrogant generally, go against things we say and use their fork to feed older dc, stick their own fingers into dc mouths, give baby first foods behind parents back like dairy or Nutella...

They were the ones who took the offence.

Fuck them op. It will be YOU who is up all night worried about a sick baby. It will be you going to hospital sleeping by the cot...and ultimately the buck for babies protection lies with you.

I had two winter babies and I was very stringent on hand washing, breathing into babies face etc.

By summer, 6 months old when they naturally start to put things in the their mouth etc I was far far more relaxed.
And beyond that fine, although I've never been comfortable with ill people using their cutlery in their mouth then my own dc mouth.

Springinsight · 01/03/2020 22:45

Yummy. Say your not well and put off visits for now if you don't want direct confrontation.

But don't expose a baby right now for God's sake!!

Original poster

Yummymummy2020 · 01/03/2020 22:46

@ladiva1971 I totally agree part of being a kid is getting filthy and having fun and eating questionable things when they are a bit bigger but I assume you didn’t put your newborn out naked in the snow or feed them dirt? I honestly won’t be as fussy in a few months time but right now it seems like common sense to wash hands or use gel depending on preference! Especially with sick folk around and new babies. I assume you are thinking of older kids more so than infants with what you have described. I certainly won’t be wrapping the baby in cotton wool for life but I think hygiene is important now.

OP posts:

lilgreen · 01/03/2020 22:49

I’d always wash my hands before handling a newborn.

lilgreen · 01/03/2020 22:51

@Ladiva1971 wow you’re the same age as me (48) and have a 32 year old! I can’t imagine what that’s like. Sorry , totally off thread!!

BeatsV · 01/03/2020 22:53

I wasn’t as strict about this as my partner wanted us to be with our first. Which ended up with us at the GP when DC was 3 weeks old and coughing up blood. I told the GP the pharmacist had told me it was good for them to strengthen their immune system so I shouldn’t worry. The GP said that was total rubbish, or words to that effect, with such a young baby you need to keep them away from viruses etc. as they’re not able to fight them off the same as older babies.

BackforGood · 01/03/2020 22:53

Baby was premature and quite sick at birth so this is why we are anxious. I should have mentioned that in the first post

Yup.
Massive drip feed.
Had you said
"Our baby was prem and quite sick at birth and, because of this the hospital advised us to ask everyone to wash their hands before holding the baby", then that is what people would have responded to, and you would have got different answers.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 13 14