Oh love..oh darling..oh bless you...

[saraclara]

Where has this come from? Why are people starting responses to OPs with this sort of sugary stuff when they don't know the OP from Adam?

I get that they're trying to be nice, but it makes me feel vomity.

(Also anyone responding to this OP that way just to wind me up... I am SO not your darling and I WILL hunt you down )

I'm not being unreasonable to hate it, am I?

God people really invest in this site dont they?

The whole 'nest of vipers' thing was amusing when the site was broadly supportive but actually now it seems quite rare for people to not lay into the OP and all this 'I'm allergic to niceness' is frankly embarrassing. People post on here when they are going through shit - I have too - and someone being nice can make a world of difference. There are several threads at the moment about a lady who has just lost her son and you think it's ok to whine about people saying 'bless u'? U think there needs to be a warning if people can 'handle sentimentality?'

Just bizarre. The most precious thing I've read on here - and that's going some.

The customer did not like that one bit and said that it was condescending and please don’t say it. Sales assistant apologised and pleasantries resumed.

That customer behaved appallingly. I would never dream of doing that. Poor assistant.

My OP is strictly about online behaviour. I think very differently about real life endearments.

I guess it’s better than the “oh, bless your heart” brigade - said in what is I assume a snidey, put-downish way that seems to be trending atm.
Pisses me off.

I think people are just trying to be nice. The twisted bastards

Someone posted You got this yesterday on a post where the OP was having an awful time.

You. Fucking. Got. This.

Like some awful cheap Hallmark card.

I think people are just trying to be nice. The twisted bastards

Shocking times Dita, shocking times.

What a monumental cunt they sound.

So, because people choose to express themselves differently to you, OP, that means they are automatically wrong and "insincere".
You do realise that we are all different and have different ways of expressing ourselves?

Or would you prefer everyone to just be a clone of you parroting the same tired old (non-sentimental of course) phrases out for every occasion? I cant imagine anything more tedious than a thread full of the same bland (because they have to show absolutely no affection whatsoever) answers over and over again.

You re so NBU. How can people possibly claim that someone is "my love" when the reality is you would have no clue who they were if you met them in the street?

There's no reason why this thread should make people feel less inclined to be nice. It's perfectly possible to be very kind without using false endearments.

I too I am very bored of the "fuck off you fucking cunt" when someone is unable to articulate an argument. They don't seem to have a clue that swearing doesn't make you disagree more.

Some people call perfect strangers "love". So not a big deal.
If you don't like some expressions, just.. don't use them yourself?

AdaColeman, I have a client in Derby, he always says this. I'm sure I visit him more often than I actually have to because of it. It's just such a lovely term. :)

I have a tendency to call people love, darling and similar, just part of British culture, in my experience.
Some people on this forum come across as quite snobby, in my opinion, so I don't express myself naturally. I like it when other people do though.

Yanbu. Can't bear "oh op/oh sweetheart/oh[username]". It's so annoying.

saraclara, Yes, that's IT! It's not sentimental when somebody says 'me duck' or even 'love'. It's just matter-of-fact and doesn't pretend to be something other than an add-on.

I don't want to hear endearments and faux-concern myself, everybody else can suit themselves. But 'me duck'... I could hear that all day long - just don't put kisses on the end.

LettertoHermoine, what you say may well be true but that isn't really borne out by this section of the board. If you really didn't want to see those less nice statements, you'd be posting on some of the gentler boards about pets or tiddlywinks or Pedants' Corner. I think it's a bit disingenuous to post to AIBU and berate posters for their personal view (shared by quite a few) that hearts and flowers are misplaced and a bit fake.

You only have to look at the threads with the most posts... there is always a ruck going on somewhere on it. The mundane posts with huns and kisses soon fall off the page.

Each to their own but, if I don't want to see angry faces or conversely, sickly sweetness, I'd just click off Mumsnet for a bit until I'd righted myself...

@PeapodBurgundy

Just me, LaMarschallin, from the dread "boob" thread.

I don't mind endearments per se, but I do understand the antipathy to the way OP describes them being used here.

Also, may need to trial calling people 'confetti' and see how it floats grin

You're owed a lot of slack for that, because it's very funny indeed!

Curious about your name: brings back memories of "The Good Life" to me...?

PhoneTwattery Sun 01-Mar-20 19:36:31
Reminds me of something I heard recently:

"The word Legend has been devalued from pulling a sword from a stone to prove you're the rightful king, to unexpectedly returning with crisps."

This is so true and really funny. Not tea-snorting, that's ridiculous (and never rings true), but very funny.

Worra... I have, on two occasions, told an OP that she 'sounds like a lovely person' (not the same one, mercifully), and on another thread, to my great shame, told another OP, "You go, girl!".

I checked myself harshly, found myself wanting and Iwill never do that again. Ever.

'your an amazing person'

Nine times out of ten, they aren't.

I had a traumatic pregnant last year - we were unsure if our son would survive and I posted about it on here looking for advice and if anyone had experience of the same congenital abnormality - anyway, I had lots of loves, flowers, lovely’s and bless yous in response and despite not knowing anyone personally, they all helped - so to me. No they weren’t vapid.

Sorry to hear that Tunnocks

Tunnocks, I didn't see your thread but I would have sent you and your family very best wishes. They would have been just as well-intentioned.

I think that was OP's premise really, there's a middle-ground; not everything is good -v- evil here.

@LaMarschallin

A combination of The Good Life, and what I called DS while he was still a bump. Thanks for noticing my little flurry of confetti xxx

@PeapodBurgundy

A combination of The Good Life, and what I called DS while he was still a bump.

Ahh!

My 1st DD was called "Stalky" because of USS appearance.

Toyed with calling her "Starchy"...

@Tunnocks34
I’m really glad you felt supported by those sentiments - that’s exactly why I will continue doing it