AIBU to be worried about gender disappointment

[YouDoYou18]

We have a scan to find out the gender in 7 hours and suddenly I’ve found I’m very very nervous.
We have two DDs that I adore, and honestly I don’t mind if it’s another girl, I’ve got some girl names picked out and I can imagine having three daughters playing in the future and I really love the idea... But.
This is going to be our last baby and I would also really like a boy, I’d like to have that relationship and bond with a son as well as my daughters. I know it sounds ridiculous but my daughters are daddy’s girls (which I love and it melts my heart daily) and I know there’s no guarantee a son would be a mummy’s boy.. but I’m just worried that I’m going to end up almost grieving for the fact I’ll never have a boy.

Is this ridiculous? I’m sure I will love any baby, but I can’t get rid of this nervousness and it’s making me feel like an awful parent!

I usually hate gender disappointment threads - but it’s refreshing to see for once that somebody actually wants a boy instead of a girl

Agree @notanotherjigsawpiece they're very baby girl-dominated. I've never been able to work out why. One of each and wanted them both so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Oh honestly, just wind your neck in. More parents cafe about what sex their children are, only on MN is it commonplace to write such shit as demonstrated on this thread

And the reason they care so much is becuase they have a stereotypical view of what a certain sex of child will be like - which is fucking stupid right?

I think it is normal to have a preference initially. Pretty much every friend I have who is close enough to be candid about it admitted to a slight preference one way or the other. I wanted a girl.

When she arrived, I realised that I would have been delighted either way. But I am glad she was a girl just because she's her. And I'm the least stereotypical woman ever. Nothing pink and/or frilly in this house! But I do believe there are some differences in raising boys and girls, which is a separate issue from their individual personalities.

Britwife that's interesting. I know who the Duggars are (don't watch it, though) and it makes sense that the 'fundies' don't want to say the word sex, despite the dictionary definitions being clear and exclusive. It's a sad world.

The OP is just going along with the trend of referring to it as gender scan- it's what many people say.

boe very revealing that the only site that gives it its correct name is a medical one. This gender/sex confusion is a societal construct, clearly.

And the reason they care so much is becuase they have a stereotypical view of what a certain sex of child will be like

No, it’s because raising one sex is a fundamentally different experience to raising another.

Why there’s so much denial of that basic fact I don’t quite know.

Let us know how you get on OP!

I'm personally bored of the gender/sex argument. If you would like to know what you are having, you go for it! I opted not to find out but that's only because I wanted a surprise and what a surprise it was. Although if I am to have another, I probably will find out too

We all know what "gender disappointment" means. If OP's title had been "worried about sex disappointment" we'd probably all get the wrong end of the stick anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP hope all goes well at the scan. I always kind of wanted a little brother for DS but when he got a little sister instead, I couldn't be happier 🥰

I actually don’t like it when people say “just so long as it’s healthy” either. My DS took 2 years to conceive and has a genetic disease which we had no idea about before he was born and isn’t obvious to look at him. Obviously I wish he was healthy but he’s also perfect and it’s actually independent of his sex. It’s a passing comment but it used to upset me because of the enormity of how much he wasn’t.

If we were lucky enough to have a second though I would sort of like a girl, but it would also be lovely to have two boys. And we’d know the enormity of how lucky we were to have two children and to have a healthy baby. But then I’ve said it there basically. So I am probably being unreasonable!!

I completely get it. It would be a kind of mourning for the relationship you would love to have. You sound lovely, and it’s obvious you’ll love your baby whatever the gender. Good luck. X

What GinDrinker00 Said!! Plus after multiple losses you just wish to be able to carry a Baby to term. Not worry about it's gender

elphias I disagree. My DS3 has congenital epilepsy- I'm sitting here watching over his every move as his seizures have spiked again- 20 yesterday, likely to rise today. I would do ANYTHING for him to be healthy- that's what every parent wants in an ideal world.

OP I get it. It’s not that you will be disappointed with this baby just disappointed to never have the experience of parenting a boy. Just take a deep breath and let us all know what you’re having please!

Let us know the outcome! Good luck!

Everyone on mumsnet knows the difference between sex and gender. It is usually marketed as a gender scan which is why people say it.

As an aside, my 4 year old just asked me whether Rainbow Dash is a boy or a girl pony. Don't google Rainbow Dash sex, there's a whole specialised fetish out there I didn't really need to know about. Rainbow Dash gender answered my question.

Scans terrify me because I’ve had previous missed miscarriages only discovered at the scan. Each scan is an anxiety ridden time for me as a result, I always feel physically sick with fear. YABU to be anxious about something as trivial as this.

I get it I have two boys we payed for a gender scan I was nervous that morning I love my two boys but I want a daughter as well and the scan was for that purpose to find we had all our health scans it's was a lovely experience from start to finish turns out it was a girl this time and we were delighted all the family was I was the last girl born in my family there's nothing wrong with wanting one of each.

Please update us op!

What are you having OP? Hope all is well

ITS A BOY!!!!! I’m so surprised, I actually cried! I can’t believe it!!!

Amazing!! Congrats, OP! All the best for a healthy rest of pregnancy and delivery. Make sure you share his arrival with us

@YouDoYou18 congrats! I hope you have a happy healthy pregnancy x

Ahhhhh congratulations, that’s so exciting! 🥳

Aw, congrats OP

Congratulations very pleased for you!