AIBU Not to fancy old men?

[WhiteBadger]

I'm 54 and been Online Dating (OLD) for a couple of years. But I just don't fancy the old men on there.

Most men of 54+ seem to have beer bellies and look like granddads, which they probably are. :)

The men in their 40s seem ok, so what the fuck happens to them when they hit 50?

I'm a regular at the gym, like to keep myself fit. And luckily I'm pretty healthy. I won't date anyone my son's age, (35) although get plenty of offers. A lot of young men have a thing for older women. 🙄

4 years I've been single! Will I ever fancy an old man? Yeah I know I'm old too!!

I tend to now date 44+ but my ex was 4 years older than me.

I don't know! Am I unreasonable and destined to be single forever??!!

excuse me while I drool over another 50 + year old guy , this is Antony Head
I had a crush on him when he played Giles ( the librarian ) in Buffy , but now as he has got older I think he is even better looking .
He looks great as the moody king Uther Pendragon in Merlin .

images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/16800000/Merlin-publicity-stills-anthony-stewart-head-16852273-426-639.jpg

images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/16800000/Merlin-publicity-stills-anthony-stewart-head-16852272-426-639.jpg

yes I know he is probably not the typical 60+ but I can dream and often do

As a man in his 50s, I find this thread is a bit depressing. More so because a lot of the comments are actually true.

I have dated younger men for about a decade. For a while I was like Rod Stewart-i kept getting older but my boyfriends remained 29 It wasn't on purpose it was just that those were the men who were still fun and interested in me.
Current beau is only a couple of years younger than me, but definitely more stuck in his ways than I am. He's in pretty good shape tbf but I'm more interested in new things than he is generally. That's one thing I have noticed with all my male friends in their 40s-they formed their preferences and opinions at about 32 and that's that. Same music, same politics, same writers, whereas I feel like I'm evolving all the time because I'm interested in learning about new things. It's not so much about looks for me, just attitude.

@etulosba

Don't think anybody's trying to be cruel! It's just a shock to men that ageing applies to them too!

My mum occasionally comes out with that gem ''men age better'' and I haul her up on it every time. No, men are ALLOWED TO AGE.

Don't think anybody's trying to be cruel! It's just a shock to men that ageing applies to them too!

Exactly! So many men think ageing is this weird process which applies to females only.

And as for 'cruel', nobody here is suggest that all men in their 50s should look like Claes Bang or Keanu Reaves (though admittedly it would be nice.....) just that making a bit of an effort with grooming and personal care go a long way. Not too much to ask, surely?

yES, Ageing is natural, it's just that men aren't shamed for it.

Or maybe they are a little but they don't pay as high a price for it.

Agree with @CassidyStone about the eyebrows, the nostril hair, the ear hair. That is all ageing. a lot of men could really look more attractive if they looked after themselves a BIT.

I was in my local dept store on Friday evening and there were young men having their ''make up'' done, one was having his under eye darkness concealed. This was ''NARS'' counter.

Men wearing make up is not a new thing though. My brother would borrow my concealer and mascara when we both lived at home.
My first serious bf, both in our 20s, would do the same, and he used moisturiser, had a natural manicure, etc.
Men over 40 just can not be bothered

I think what makes it worse is there are many old and unattractive men who are arrogant enough to think they 'deserve' an attractive and younger woman, despite looking like an infected toenail themselves. And then berate older women for 'letting themselves go'.

Society is sexist and notices the decline of women more than men it seems. But imo, the ageing process is even worse for men if they don't look after themselves. Flat Saffy arses, ear hair, nostril hair, unibrows, beer bellies, balding.... they also seem to wrinkle worse as well.

I would hope though, that BOTH sexes would understand that people are not physically attractive (in most cases) when we age. And look a bit deeper than physical appearance.

I think what makes it worse is there are many old and unattractive men who are arrogant enough to think they 'deserve' an attractive and younger woman, despite looking like an infected toenail themselves
I've found this is true of men of all ages. No matter what a man looks like, infected toenail or not, he will always go for the most beautiful woman in the room . There is no concept of a woman being out of their league. Male friends have acknowledged this and just say it's worth trying your luck, the woman can only say no and you might get lucky

Boris 55, Carrie 31!!

I notice older men trot off to the barbers to have their already short hair cut, "to keep it tidy" but then let their eyebrows and nose hair grow wild.
I also think that men age because they haven't used suncream when younger. You can get away with a tan in your 20s & 30s but it just ages you after then.

Kingkuta I think Hollywood is to blame, how many films out there are there that show unattractive men ending up with the hot popular girl? never the overweight, unattractive women ending up with the high school heart throb. These films perpetuate men’s self entitlement where women are concerned.

Not to mention all the films with massive age gaps between the man and the woman. The men get older, but their leading ladies stay the same age.

I'm late 20's and rarely glance at 35+ year olds. I do think men in their 20's are nicer to look at.

Hate it when old fuckers leer as well. Like I'd ever give them my time.

I'm happily married but I notice older men eyeing me up and it does seem ludicrous sometimes as I'm 45 and in pretty good nick for my age. There's no way I'd go for someone in their 60's or 70's, even if they were gorgeous...and they seldom are IRL.

As a man in his 50s, I find this thread is a bit depressing. More so because a lot of the comments are actually true.

Oh god the previous posts have reminded me of the errant grey hairs from ears, nose and eyebrows like dying hedgerows.

I’m no oil painting but at least I don’t have my balls hanging around my knees 🤣 I knew you meant his balls.
Is that why your username is @fallsballs in memory of his fallen balls.. 🤔

Oh god no (I may have to name change as I can’t get that awful ball hanging image away as he skipped to the en-suite, appendage flying around and dangerously low to his knees).

A woman on another thread was describing her husband being covered in hair and as a result he always felt clammy to the touch. Kinda oily like a tame primate.

What is a flat saffy arse? I'm wondering if I have one.

Yanbu although Claes Bang is 52 and I absolutely would

I don't get it, Claes Bang looks like a dodgy financial advisor. I absolutely wouldn't.

I don't get it, Claes Bang looks like a dodgy financial advisor. I absolutely wouldn't
Me neither, and his acting was so awful in The Affair that that would put me right off as well. Dominic West on the other hand........

I'm lucky as I'm married to a seriously hot bloke who turns 50 next year. He's always been very good looking but it really helps that he's still got all his hair, is barely grey and is tall but well built. Sometimes I just enjoy looking at him because he's so very easy on the eye

But I know what you mean OP because all his school friends look old enough to be his Dad! They've lost their hair, ended up with beer guts and slob about in comfy clothes.