AIBU Not to fancy old men?

[WhiteBadger]

I'm 54 and been Online Dating (OLD) for a couple of years. But I just don't fancy the old men on there.

Most men of 54+ seem to have beer bellies and look like granddads, which they probably are. :)

The men in their 40s seem ok, so what the fuck happens to them when they hit 50?

I'm a regular at the gym, like to keep myself fit. And luckily I'm pretty healthy. I won't date anyone my son's age, (35) although get plenty of offers. A lot of young men have a thing for older women. 🙄

4 years I've been single! Will I ever fancy an old man? Yeah I know I'm old too!!

I tend to now date 44+ but my ex was 4 years older than me.

I don't know! Am I unreasonable and destined to be single forever??!!

But he doesn't dress like a nearly 50yo either - H&M, skinny jeans and cons.

If Not .really know what you mean ! My FIL was always well kept and a chap I know who lives near me ,is always unfailingly polite and gentlemanly ! Age range 80 plus !

😆

I'm dating someone ten years older than me - he's 49 and he's bloody gorgeous! Looks the same age as me for sure

That is exactly the problem women the OP's age have. He's going out with a woman of 39 not one of 50. Men expect to date younger women, the OP doesn't want a 60 year old.

@Teateaandmoretea I was thinking exactly the same thing !
I am (happily) single after finishing with my last aul fella, he was 10 years older and turned into a moany old fucker. He started to look like an angry melting waxwork.
I’m no oil painting but at least I don’t have my balls hanging around my knees.

I went to a school reunion recently, 90% of the women looked great 90% of the men looked terrible. The men were overweight and looked really unhealthy.

Btw I don’t have balls - badly constructed sentence - remove ‘my’.

A man who is losing his hair isn't unattractive, unless he grows what's left of it long, and sweeps it over the balding bits. A shaved head and well looked after scalp is lovely. Decent clothes help - no-one needs to shop from the Daxon catalogue and wear beige slacks unless they actually want to. A nice pair of jeans and a cotton shirt is perfect, with boots or trainers, not slip on shoes with velcro fastenings.

I do think a lot of men on dating sites subtract 10 years from their age because they, too, don't want to date a granny. So if they're 58, they say they're 48, hoping to attract the 40 - 45 year olds, and not women the same age as them, or heaven forbid, older

every time you see a normal couple in their 50-60s in real life, the man looks much younger than her I think it balances towards 60's. IMO with same age couples in their 40's early 50's the men look younger. No child bearing war wounds.
Those men you see don't suffer with the illusion they need to keep fit, they have no qualms thinking a woman will date them as they are. The hot ones are usually taken, the others want a younger partner.
Is there any group sport you can join to meet someone.

I'm 53 and I know two women near my age who have given up on the idea of dating, as they both dislike old men.
I'm married to an older man and have to tell him to watch out as he doesn't want to be a grumpy old git, quite often. He takes it well so far

Yanbu
I find it hard to fancy men my own age never mind older.

I suspect single men over 50 miss care and grooming BECAUSE they are single and there is no one at home to do all the grooming (as in cook healthy enough meals, do the washing, encourage them to put that old tshirt in the bin etc....).

It’s the teeth! Good god, the teeth! If you want to be kissed, look after your mouth. Clean teeth, fresh breath.

He started to look like an angry melting waxwork

It does seem that the well kept over 50s choose to date 30s & 40s women.

I don't know why women in their 30s date older men as it is a different life stage. Is there a shortage of men in that bracket?

Generally I think men fall into the camp of "I an fine how I am so won't change for anyone" and also stuck in their ways. I was in a shoe shop and a man was trying to buy a pair of trainers in the same style that he has worn for 19 years. He was telling everyone proudly rather than realise change is actually good at times.

Maybe the older men that fit our criteria don’t need to bother with online dating or are already taken.
What a ridiculous post.

I wonder if single men over 50 have anyone to tell them to trim their nostril hair and keep their eyebrows under control? The majority of women in their 50's look after themselves, and are well-groomed, but I know a lot of men of a similar age who look unkempt and don't seem to realise how scruffy and unattractive they look. But they still think they deserve the attentions of a much younger woman.

I also agree with PP that I don’t agree with the belief many people have that men age better than women. In my circle/age group, the women all look better, fitter, healthier than the men.

I had a date the other week with a man who claimed he was 45 on his profile. He was actually 52 and his photos were at least 5 years out of date.
I asked him what he liked to do at the weekend. He replied "Nothing". And he meant it. He said he worked hard during the week so at the weekend he puts his feet up and watches tv.

Sadly he is typically of the men in their 50s that I have met. It's as though they have given up on life and are just waiting for a new woman to look after them.

One date told me that he would start doing things when he found the right woman so they could do stuff together.

As PP have said, the men that look after themselves are choosing younger women.
I wish I had an answer to the problem

A strange thing I've noticed when someone's marriage is in trouble. The women lose weight, improve their appearance and start going to the gym etc. The men start drinking excessively and look worse and worse.

It does seem that the well kept over 50s choose to date 30s & 40s women
This hasn't been my experience at all. In my 30s I wouldn't have considered dating a 50 year old for a second. They would have seemed ancient. I'm late 40s now and married but friends the same age all have met men the same age or younger. I've got a wide social group and none of my friends have dated older men. The only couples I know with big age gaps (3 of them) are women 5-10 years older than their boyfriends

My ex did this with his previous partner, went to the gym, got in shape, started dressing better, now they've split up he looks dirty and unkempt. I think men need a partner more than women do.

I realise my opinion is based o. A massive sample of 2 or 3 couples

This hasn't been my experience at all. In my 30s I wouldn't have considered dating a 50 year old for a second. They would have seemed ancient.

Same. Most young women aren't interested in much older men unless they've got something special to offer.