AIBU Not to fancy old men?

[WhiteBadger]

I'm 54 and been Online Dating (OLD) for a couple of years. But I just don't fancy the old men on there.

Most men of 54+ seem to have beer bellies and look like granddads, which they probably are. :)

The men in their 40s seem ok, so what the fuck happens to them when they hit 50?

I'm a regular at the gym, like to keep myself fit. And luckily I'm pretty healthy. I won't date anyone my son's age, (35) although get plenty of offers. A lot of young men have a thing for older women. 🙄

4 years I've been single! Will I ever fancy an old man? Yeah I know I'm old too!!

I tend to now date 44+ but my ex was 4 years older than me.

I don't know! Am I unreasonable and destined to be single forever??!!

I'm 48, agree totally , most men my age look like they could be my dad. I almost always match with men late 30s early 40s but have been on dates with ones late 20s.
Obviously there are the odd ones who may well look like movie stars but I reckon they are after much younger women.

My grandmother was widowed at 57 and always said 'I don't want some old man'. She stayed single till she died 35 years later.

Tbh OP I think yanbu and despite what is said on here about the patriarchy and age being respected in men there are far more presentable women.

Wow alot of supermodels on mums net, I didn't realise! 'I'm sooo good looking and slim, I get offers left right and centre from gorgeous young men, men my age have no chance cos I'm sooo much more attractive then they are' 😂

@BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo I agree with you to a point but the pictures you've used show two women that have had face lifts/botox. Would be interesting to compare Ian to a normal woman that hasnt had work done

Wow alot of supermodels on mums net, I didn't realise! 'I'm sooo good looking and slim, I get offers left right and centre from gorgeous young men, men my age have no chance cos I'm sooo much more attractive then they are'

Well it's what it's socially acceptable for men to say isn't it? Chasing around after young women.... perish the thought.

I am an older man,everyone says I look younger.I am not boring,am solvent,look after myself (ex rugby player and have kept the body),live in the west midlands....intelligent,kind,educated and still looking.

I do think, if this thread was on women and how they looked there would be more 'yabu, body shaming women' type comments, but that is MN at times. very different for men and women!

Saying that men do not need to develop beer bellies over 50. Dh does intermittent fasting and is slim, at 52.

Class you sound like an OLD ad

@TheMotherofAllDilemmas you made me lol

I think the older men who are attractive have their pick of much younger women. I know several 40 something men dating 25 years olds. I’m in my late 30s and mostly got interest from men in their 20s who are just looking for sex! Men my age and a bit older who I liked the look of never seem to be interested.

Claes Bang is 52 and I absolutely would

Oh I was having this conversation last night. I'm mid twenties and I absolutely would. He's my new favourite at the moment

I don't think we're being rude at all. Two of my friends are also recently single in their 50s. They both look amazing. We have a great friendship circle, socialise a lot and have a laugh. Our ex partners have no friends and sit around at home all the time. My exh spends all his time on his phone. We all say how dull they are and how different from even 10 years ago.

I'm in my 50s and I look like I'm in my 50s. But I am slim and dress well! I make an effort. I don't want to date younger men. I've always dated men slightly older than me. But blimey, for me it almost seems like they've given up on life and adventure! Again, a sweeping generalisation but these are the ones I come across.

I'm 32 and only go for 40+. I'm slim and take care of myself so expect a partner in the same state! Not sure where I stand on the single dad/no kids thing yet.

POF was awful (guy asked if I wanted to go to "shagdad" with him ) and I'm on OKcupid and I'm not finding it much better to be honest. Heard some dodgy stuff about Tinder but prepared to give it a go!

I've come to the conclusion that when people get divorced in their 50s it's generally because the men are lazy and have let themselves go, and the women have got fed up with being tied to such a loser. It's always going to lead to an unmatched dating pool.
*massive generalisation, based on reading Mumsnet.

Wow alot of supermodels on mums net, I didn't realise! 'I'm sooo good looking and slim, I get offers left right and centre from gorgeous young men, men my age have no chance cos I'm sooo much more attractive then they are

Alot of jealousy it seems as well. Theres alot of beautiful women out there of all ages and yes, when you're beautiful you get pursued by alot of men of all ages. Just a fact of life.

"Alot" is not a word. It's two words. A space lot. A lot. It makes me cringe to see people using this.
Off to Pedants Corner now!

Homer Simpson

Oh dear OP, I do feel for you. I'd just stick with the 44 yr old hottie for now

I'm married to a man coming up to 50. Obviously I've always found him attractive but never really thought about whether he looked young for his age or not until one of his friends posted a photo on FB of him at a mini reunion of his old school mates. The other 4 or 5 were all overweight, some were bald and generally looked a lot older than 50!

However, I can't say any of that would bother me a massive amount if I was OLD again - as long as we shared the same interests, they were generally fit and active and they entertained me, I'd be interested. That's the problem with OLD, though - it's so looks fixated that the less good looking don't get much of a look in.

YANBU.

I'm 50 and while I see attractive, stylish women my age and older every day, I hardly ever see good-looking men in their 50s or older. That's why it always makes me laugh when people haul out the 'men age so much better than women' nonsense. Only in their own delusions.

@ArntNise ,
I can see us fighting over him [grin
He is also in a film called Men that swim ,( or something similar ), that is def on my to watch list

It’s not being “looks fixated”, it’s that those who haven’t looked after their looks also tend to lack interests and a personality too. It very very much goes hand in hand in my experience.

I think a lot lie about their age

My mum is very attractive and in her mid 60's. She dresses well and takes care of herself. She also OLD

Some of the stories she tells me about men who are 'allegedly' her age but could easily pass for 80 somethings. Ie no teeth, severely overweight, scruffy, generally unkempt etc and they think they're some kind of catch?!

She has been approached many times by men in their late 40's/50s but feels that they are at different life stages. She would like to meet someone her own age but the pool from which to choose is more like a tiny puddle!

I also agree that it's utter shite that men age better than women.

@Michaelbaubles but men can do very little to 'look after their looks' - women can dye and style their hair well and wear makeup but men are generally laughed at for being vain if they do that. If they've lost their hair, they can't even have a decent haircut.

So realistically, all they can do is stay slim. It really doesn't follow that because a man has stayed slim (could be genetics, could be because they're gym/food obsessed, could be because they eat and exercise sensibly) that they're more likely have fascinating personalities.

I think a lot lie about their age

I think this is a big problem. I know some attractive men in their 50s and 60s, but I also know men take up to 10 years off their age on online dating, a 60+ year old pretending to be 55 will look old.

It's funny though, people are always "polite" and guess ages 5-10 years younger so many people think they look "young for their age".