AIBU Not to fancy old men?

[WhiteBadger]

I'm 54 and been Online Dating (OLD) for a couple of years. But I just don't fancy the old men on there.

Most men of 54+ seem to have beer bellies and look like granddads, which they probably are. :)

The men in their 40s seem ok, so what the fuck happens to them when they hit 50?

I'm a regular at the gym, like to keep myself fit. And luckily I'm pretty healthy. I won't date anyone my son's age, (35) although get plenty of offers. A lot of young men have a thing for older women. 🙄

4 years I've been single! Will I ever fancy an old man? Yeah I know I'm old too!!

I tend to now date 44+ but my ex was 4 years older than me.

I don't know! Am I unreasonable and destined to be single forever??!!

@AlCalavicci

Isnt he just ! did you watch him it the sherlock series ? Yes :)
Benedict Cumberbatch does nothing for me , to much of a pretty boy look - he doesn't "sparkle"

I laughed at the "You Bastard" clip - gorgeous and a quick wit :)

The don't have to be tall, they don't have to be rich, they don't even need hair!

I just want a man who looks after himself! And if they're funny too, well grab your coat mate! You've pulled!

I don't fancy portly gentlemen who's idea of fun is getting lashed on a Saturday night.

I honestly think I'm going to be single forever.

There is one guy I occasionally see when I have an itch that needs scratched. He's fucking gorgeous, 44, fit as a fiddle. We laugh, we have great sex ... he wants kids.

🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

My husband is 51 and the hottest man in the world (probably just looks like a slightly above average 51 year old to everyone else 😃)

I hope this thread isn’t an indicator that he’ll look terrible in 3 years time!

YANBU
I'm 51 and look younger, I work out and watch what I eat. Most of the men in their 50s on POF are like Phil Mitchell and expect to bag someone way out of their league. There were one or two blokes on there that also looked young and took care of themselves. It was a problem for me as I prefer guys my own age but like you had offers from lots of 30 something's and lads young enough to be my sons. The men on POF seem to think women are desperate.

I met my bloke on Bumble, he's 3 years younger than me.

I agree, the majority of men in their 50'd on old are dire. Silly to use attractive men of that age range off the telly, this is real life. I do not know what happens to them after they hit 50 but it is not good and I am giving up the search.

This thread is very depressing!

Wait until you're in your 60's. Dear lord, I'm no great beauty myself, but you should see some of them.

My DH is 53 and definitely doesn’t look it
He keeps himself fit by boxing and running , very rarely drinks and has never smoked . I do buy the majority of his clothes though so he always looks well dressed 😂
I think it helps that he is 6ft 3 and a good build Plus semi retired so plenty of time to work out

So you are like older men who like younger women in reverse? Mumsnet usually hates that, let’s he how this goes...........

The men in their 40s seem ok, so what the fuck happens to them when they hit 50?

This phenomenon is widely known in my country as”dar el viejazo”. It happens around 50 in men and about 45-50 in women. One day you go to bed being an oldish young person and wake up as a youngish old person.

Another big sign you are suffering from it is that you can’t see how old you really look because your mind is still thinking you are “young”. OLD is full of men and women suffering from it.

I completely disagree, for anyone disputing this I suggest you go and take a look on old yourself.

I think the day I came to the realisation that I was starting to look old was when I met my exH’s partner... my thoughts were (in strict order):

Looked at her: Oh gawd she looks so old for him!
Looked at him: oh dear, actually he looks the same age as her!
Then: Oh shit!!! Do I look that bad myself????

We were all in our late 30s 😁

I’m afraid I’ve stolen one of the good ones, 57 and has the whole Daniel Craig thing going on. Not a beer belly or grey hair in sight. I’m in my early 30s and thought he was a lot closer to my age at first.

My DH is grey, but definitely a silver fox at 51. I think keeping trim makes a difference. He's no gym-bunny, but he does lots of physical work, and he hardly ever sits still.

@scunnered

That's the point I don't want to date a younger man, and certainly get enough offers.

I want to date a man my age but they're .... unfit, old and frankly ... boring.

Obviously not all men in their 50s, I think just the single ones! The good ones have been snapped up by PPs!!!

My ex was fit and sexy and fun, but I look at him
And think yeugh. He's 58 this year but looks 70, he looks so old and unfit and the clothes he wears. Good grief!

Next time you go into a town centre. Look at the middle aged women, most of them still dress well and take a pride in their appearance, now look at their husbands!

Honestly it's depressing.

That's it .... I'm gonna die single ;)

DH is 70 next week and I fancy him as much as I did when he was 19.
Mind you I see other blokes his age and think OMG don't they look old.
< misses point of thread entirely >

No Maras2 think that is the point of the thread. If you grow old together that's amazing and wonderful.

But to jump in near the end !! Hahaha not so much fun! I'll have missed all the good bits and just have the ED, pot belly and moaning!!

I'd love to have what you have and thought I had!! But hey ho! What can you do!!!

God this thread is depressing. I’m turning 50 and about to become single for the first time in decades. I’m resigned to remaining single for the rest of my life

I agree women age far better than men, most middle aged men look like Ian Beale who is 51, his mum in Eastenders is 64 and looks younger than him!

agree women age far better than men,

I wish I could disagree... every time you see a normal couple in their 50-60s in real life, the man looks much younger than her.

Now, unless she has too much on her plate, single/divorced women tend to look a bit younger.

couldn’t

I'm in my 50s and I'm very good looking, always have been. I can not date men my age, they look awful. They message me on OLD sites, and I wonder at why they do. They must realise they'd get no where with me. Even if you try to imagine what they looked like 20 years ago, they would never have been successful with me then.
I often get approached by much younger men, but don't date them either. And when women my age realise that some man is flirting with me, they make snide comments to me about how I should only date men my age.
I just don't bother now
What's the point.
Ideally I want a man my age that looks after himself

I can assure you the vast majority of men in OLD complain pretty much about the same. OLD is a place where people portray themselves as what they aim to be and try to find a person to match those dreams.

Honestly, I looked 38 at 46, I never dated unattractive people unless they tricked me with an old photo or filters (sorry, but they end up treating you like shit if they think you love them), yet... the people I found attractive were mostly my age or men who were in very good shape for their age. The younger than me, I don’t think they liked me back but then, most of the younger ones are looking for someone younger, not an older one in good shape like me 🤷🏻‍♀️

The joys of OLD...

For most of most of my dating life, I've either dated men my age or men younger than me - I've never really fancied older men. Now I'm in my mid-40s, this is becoming more marked as for the most part, most (single) men of my age and older just don't seem to look after themselves. I don't care if it's shallow and superficial but I like attractive people who take of themselves. In my experience at least, younger men are also less set in their ways, more tolerant and don't try to take control all the time.

When I've internet dated, I've often been approached by men claiming to be in their 40s. I'm sure that was the case once, but judging from their pictures, it was clearly quite some time, possibly decades ago. Why tell such an obvious lie?