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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:
BrowncoatWaffles · 27/02/2020 14:22

Does she think you fancy your friend (or indeed he fancies you) and thus you will be having noisy, lusty sex for him to listen in on enviously?

Figgygal · 27/02/2020 14:23

That is sooo weird and his response weirder
christ i wouldn't set foot in the house if she thinks that is a normal thing to raise with people.

Lifeisgenerallyfun · 27/02/2020 14:24

Very bizarre, unless they think you’re into hardcore S&M and worried about you getting blood on their new bedsheets/muffled screams waking the neighbours etc,

I would have to ask them why.

Idontkowmyname · 27/02/2020 14:25

@BrowncoatWaffles I think you’ve hit the nail on the head

TheMustressMhor · 27/02/2020 14:25

I would presume most people wouldn't have sex when a guest in someone else's house

Why? Why would most people not have sex while a guest in someone else's house? Why would you even consider whether or not people do this?

Weird.

YouokHun · 27/02/2020 14:27

To me that sounds like a cover up. It reminds me of a person I know who has OCD and expects to put parameters around other people’s behaviour in order to manage her own reactions and not have a meltdown in public. In this case not to do with cleanliness but to do with intrusive thoughts about sex. This response reminds me so much of how her partner would say anything to ward people off, which ended up sounding more barking than the real reason. Who knows, but it just reminds me of a similar scenario and ‘jealousy’ doesn’t ring true from what you’ve said.

WooMaWang · 27/02/2020 14:27

Do the people complaining about body fluids etc not realise that everybody sweats in bed? And lots of people always choose to sleep naked regardless whether they're going to have sex.

It's just... odd... to be so interested in other people's bodies and bodily functions.

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 27/02/2020 14:28

Got to be some kind of jealousy? The green eyed monster must be the only thing that would outweigh sounding like an utter freak, making this kind of request.

DateNovice · 27/02/2020 14:29

Does your friend fancy you? Bit odd that he says it’s come from her 🤔

TheMustressMhor · 27/02/2020 14:32

Actually, I remember when watching Four In A Bed, one of the B & B owners (who quite clearly had OCD wrt cleaning rituals) saying that she hated the idea of her guests having sex while they stayed at her house.

DH and I are more likely to have sex when away than when we're at home. I have a feeling that most couples are.

I did wonder why this woman even opened a B & B in these circumstances.

Original poster
Hohohole · 27/02/2020 14:33

He's like a brother to me, never been any funny business. I've said I'll stay at a hotel, and he came back and said no please don't I'll have a word with her.
Nooooooooooo
I said not to say anything, I'm going to have to cancel now aren't I? Dinner would be awkward, Jesus people are strange.

OP posts:
DreemOn · 27/02/2020 14:34

Sounds like they are joshing you OP 😉

Original poster
Hohohole · 27/02/2020 14:35

I wasn't even going to have sex but I would feel like she'd be listening out now

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 27/02/2020 14:35

I'm sorry, that makes no sense. Unless she's asking you not to have sex with her husband!? Grin.

Seriously, this is bizarre. For a start, how would she know? Unless they've got paper thin walls and you're in the habit of super loud sex? Is there a back story? Did you and your partner get caught doing it on the kitchen table last time!?

Bluntness100 · 27/02/2020 14:36

God that’s so beyond normal and acceptable. Turn your self inside out level of cringe.

And his text back saying you could hold off for one night makes it sound like he’s been telling her you shag every night or something, likely because she’s not shagging him.

Totally and utterly weird, and discomfiting. There has clearly been a conversation about how much you shag.

Laiste · 27/02/2020 14:38

Oh lord OP - yes don't let him 'have a word' with her. That would make an already awkward situation an absolute cringe fest!!! As it stands you staying in a hotel is ok'ish.

If i thought he'd 'had a word' i'd have to cancel the whole thing!

LyndaSnellsSniff · 27/02/2020 14:39

Hmm..I don’t think the No Sex Please request has come from the girlfriend. I cannot believe anyone would ask this! Something strange going on there.

Will they be dangling your sheets out the window medieval style to check for evidence?!

Thegreymethod · 27/02/2020 14:40

It is sooooo weird!! Why has that even crossed their minds!! Does she think you're sex craved maniacs?!?! Maybe you should send a message back saying yes that's fine but can I give him a hand job?
Seriously though I think I'd feel strange going there now thinking about them thinking about you having sex!! But if you cancel they might think it's because you can't go one night without it Grin

EL8888 · 27/02/2020 14:42

Odd so odd. Personally this would spur me and my partner to do it 😂. What other bodily functions are banned from their house? Are you allowed to have a poo?!

Sceptre86 · 27/02/2020 14:45

I would hope guests at mine didn't as we have paper thin walls and I really wouldn't want to hear that, I also wouldn't like to have to be the one to strip the bed and wash the sheets after. Having said that my sister and her dh have stayed at ours and she stripped the sheets and put a wash on before she left which I thought was considerate. Tbh as long as you kept the noise down and stuck a wash on yourself at the end if your stay it is no biggie. I would not give my bed up to anyone as the thought of that makes me want to heave.

Corna · 27/02/2020 14:48

Look this is probably way off but I would wonder if he is trying to make you feel uncomfortable as a way of distancing you from your friend. It's all very odd.

AryaStarkWolf · 27/02/2020 14:49

That's so fucking weird and awkward, I wouldn't be staying over after that. Why would she even be thinking about you having sex let alone worry about????

Laiste · 27/02/2020 14:49

I'd just not have couples over to stay if i was truly worried about them having sex, me hearing it, or needing them to strip their own bed before they left.

pallisers · 27/02/2020 14:52

She is weird but so is he. He shouldn't have passed on the message and what does her being jealous mean? Does she fancy your husband or what? I wouldn't go.

Chickychickydodah · 27/02/2020 14:52

Maybe they have really thin walls and her partner gets off on listening to other people having sex 🤣🤣🤣