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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:
WooMaWang · 27/02/2020 14:06

It has never occurred to me to give any thought to whether anyone staying at my house might be having sex. Why would you want to think about that? Never mind bring it up with them.

The sheets aren't going to be any less in need of a wash after just being slept in, so I don't see what difference it makes if people discreetly shag in them.

Obviously it'd be rude to make lots of noise about it. But, if it doesn't disturb anyone, what people do before they go to sleep is their own business really.

I did really enjoy the comment 'what if there are children present?' though. One would assume, they wouldn't be in the same bedroom so they're not likely to witness anything. I don't think there's any danger to the children just from being in the same house as some adults shagging.

WooMaWang · 27/02/2020 14:07

That is a very weird response. Jealous of what exactly?

Laiste · 27/02/2020 14:07

I think it's utterly rude of her to have asked this. I cannot abide rudeness. I find it completely unforgivable. Therefore i wouldn't be staying there.

How i'd handle letting them know i have no idea. But i wouldn't go.

OhLook · 27/02/2020 14:07

Maybe she thinks he gets off on hearing it?!

AmelieTaylor · 27/02/2020 14:08

Cross post.

I would have to say something to her when I was there, I’m guessing she has no idea he’s asked. It’s probably him jealous of your DH/DP....

messolini9 · 27/02/2020 14:09

I'd be texting back pronto, saying it might be better for all concerned if you don't come to stay after all. And if I cared about the friend at all, asking him if he's OK, what support he's getting, & precisely what his g/f's issue is.

Vanhi · 27/02/2020 14:10

Gross to have sex at other people's houses. I would be repulsed at having to change sheets after your bodily fluids im shivvering just thinking of it yuck.

Really? You don't come into contact with them and in the end it's just water with a few other bits. Gather up the sheets, stick them in the wash, job done. They don't harm you.

londonrach · 27/02/2020 14:11

Are you married, is she religious...its a very strange to ask. Like to know how she police that

Lynda07 · 27/02/2020 14:12

A very strange thing to say, has anyone asked her why and if anyone else is staying, do they too have a sex ban?

AMANursery · 27/02/2020 14:13

So weird!

FraglesRock · 27/02/2020 14:13

Text back
Not sure what to make of that, jealous of what? I think it'd be best if we found a hotel. It'd feel like staying with parents, like she'd be listening out for suspect noises.

GlassHouseYouGlassHouse · 27/02/2020 14:13

This is just so odd. I hope my guests feel comfortable and happy enough to have sex in my spare room! It's just a bit of sex. Changing the sheets - just ball them up and into the wash, no need to get your blacklight out.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/02/2020 14:13

I said "No" as we hadn't, and he was delighted as he felt that he didn't have to change the bedding for someone else who would be using the guest room the following day as we'd only 'slept on it once'

Eeeew!

ChipsyChopsy · 27/02/2020 14:14

I would presume most people wouldn't have sex when a guest in someone else's house.

Bizarre to have to ask you to abstain.

I would definitely be tempted to have sex in an act of defiance.

What you don't know can't hurt. Have no issues with someone shagging in my house/bed/living room floor if I never know about it.

What on earth do people do to have sheets that are obviously shagged upon? What bodily fluids are splashing about in such quantities as to alert anyone else as to whether you've had sex upon them??

rosegoldwatcher · 27/02/2020 14:15

Perhaps they are having problems in that department and one of them doesn't want thought or sounds of someone else (you) having sex to cause an atmosphere or row between the two of them whilst you are there.

GabsAlot · 27/02/2020 14:16

Jealous of what sex? weirdo

Straycatstrut · 27/02/2020 14:16

I think him&her aren't getting any for some reason, and banning you from it will make them feel a bit better about it. (If I can't, neither can they type thing). It's all very controlling and I wouldn't want to stay there.

I'd text back and say she doesn't sound up to guests right now and you'll be staying at a hotel.

pooopypants · 27/02/2020 14:17

I wouldn't have sex in someone else's house.... but I'm a bit of a squirter 💧

After that update, I'd be booking a hotel and making sure she doesn't order a steak for dinner - you can do some serious damage with a steak knife

Skysblue · 27/02/2020 14:17

Yanbu that is so awkward.

I assume that she is against unmarried sex and that you’re not married? That’s all I can think of 🤔

Laiste · 27/02/2020 14:18

FraglesRock - Text back: Not sure what to make of that, jealous of what? I think it'd be best if we found a hotel. It'd feel like staying with parents, like she'd be listening out for suspect noises.

Oh this. Totally. He seems to be being quite open with you, so i'd be fairly relaxed and honest in response. I too would be wondering if he (as your friend) is ok. It all sounds a bit ... odd there.

spongejack · 27/02/2020 14:20

Perhaps they've given up sex for lent and are struggling??? 😂

ChuckleBuckles · 27/02/2020 14:21

I wouldn't even bother meeting up if I am being honest. Just odd all round and the idea that these two wee trying to police what I consent to with a partner would just creep me out.

justasking111 · 27/02/2020 14:21

We have an upstairs guest suite dormer bungalow once. Every sound can be heard and echoes through the property. I might warn you about that.

Juliette20 · 27/02/2020 14:21

DH and I only have sex fairly infrequently, but the request would I'm afraid make me want to do the exact opposite.

eenymeenyminyme · 27/02/2020 14:22

Is anyone anyone's ex? Just thinking about jealousy issues...