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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:
alltoomuchrightnow · 27/02/2020 14:53

heehee I wonder if I met her last week. I work in a bedding department, retail, and a lady came in and said friends were staying for one night and she needed the cheapest mattress protector 'because of bodily fluids'! If you are in the Bucks area then !!!!

spongejack · 27/02/2020 14:54

@Corna the man in the relationship is OPs friend.

AryaStarkWolf · 27/02/2020 14:55

She is weird but so is he. He shouldn't have passed on the message and what does her being jealous mean? Does she fancy your husband or what? I wouldn't go.

You'd have to wonder if it really did come from here ...........

AryaStarkWolf · 27/02/2020 14:55

*her

limpbizkit · 27/02/2020 14:55

Honestly would it hurt to keep your bits in your own pants for one night Grin

Newjez · 27/02/2020 14:56

Ask them whether its the Clinton definition? Or whether they can make a list of banned activity?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 27/02/2020 14:57

Maybe he doesn’t want to clean your sheets?

AryaStarkWolf · 27/02/2020 14:57

Honestly would it hurt to keep your bits in your own pants for one night

I don't think that's really her issue

spongejack · 27/02/2020 15:02

Honestly would it hurt to keep your bits in your own pants for one night

Probably not, but it's dammed weird to be told too!

Eddielzzard · 27/02/2020 15:03

I wouldn't go either. Too weird now.

TwoHeadedYellowBelliedHoleDig · 27/02/2020 15:08

Jealous of what?
You weren't going to have sex with her husband, were you - just yours?

Juliette20 · 27/02/2020 15:12

I think you should wind them up by bouncing up and down on the bed, squeaking the strings and shouting Yeeee Haaaaah! Ride 'em cowboy!

That's what any sensible person would do, surely?

spongejack · 27/02/2020 15:14

The thing is if he now says @Hohohole asked why she can't have sex when they stay that's just missing the point! The point isn't if you did or didn't have sex, presume you don't know for sure either way, depends on how tired, alcohol consumption, mood etc! The point is "what's the problem", she'll just think you're insisting you need to have sex now.

Way too weird for me!

Will you have to announce at breakfast if you did or didn't 😂

Helpwithdilemma101 · 27/02/2020 15:19

Send a message back through the husband asking if it's just the sex that's out or would they object a quick wank before dinner.

Too funny 😂

pallisers · 27/02/2020 15:33

You'd have to wonder if it really did come from her...........

that's what I was thinking.

katy1213 · 27/02/2020 15:35

Weird. And would you be expected to offer proof that you'd obeyed instructions at breakfast time?

Franticbutterfly · 27/02/2020 15:38

Don’t go! This is a really odd request and not the sort of thing you should bring up.

Cherrysoup · 27/02/2020 15:40

Jealous of what? Does she fancy your partner or something?? Weird. And 'you can hold off for one night'? Has your mate told her you're some kind of sex fiend? Really weird!

sonjadog · 27/02/2020 15:40

I reckon this is all him and he is using her as an excuse.

Mollie3 · 27/02/2020 15:42

I would rather they didn’t but if it was close friends I wouldn’t be overly bothered as long as they weren’t loud about it
Your mates partner obviously has an issue and if it were me I might not want to stay as I wouldn’t feel too welcome x

HAhelp101 · 27/02/2020 15:42

I would cancel op. Just all too weirdm if you were all close riwnds and it was passed as a joke that's fine. But as you don't know his OH very well it would make me feel extremely awkward for the visit. Book yourself a nice hotel and go Shah you OH all day and night instead Wink

redcarbluecar · 27/02/2020 15:44

I think I can understand why she wouldn't want it, but it's really weird to explicitly request it. I'd still go though - at the very least you might end up with an amusing story or two. A PP's idea of you making sex noises all night made me laugh.

Everycloudandallthat · 27/02/2020 15:48

Could it be that your male friend and the girlfriend are not having sex? Going through a rough patch, maybe he is not feeling it atm and she has issues with him rejecting her for sex and she’s gone mad at him and said about if she hears you guys having sex it will make her lose her shit??

I’ve been in that kind of situation when I was t having sex with my ex husband for ages before we broke up, sex on the telly etc would make us both cringe it being such an elephant in the room.

AryaStarkWolf · 27/02/2020 15:48

I've said I'll stay at a hotel, and he came back and said no please don't I'll have a word with her.

Have a word with her about what though? Trying to convince her to allow you to have sex? That's not even the issue, the issue is her making you feel really weird and awkward

MzHz · 27/02/2020 15:49

I'd cancel too. it's the only way the message will get to her that she's being odd about this.

It's not about the 'going without sex for a night' it's the fact that this woman has gone to her H to ask his friend not to have sex with her H

It's literally none of her business and if she's this concerned about guests in her home, she really needs NOT to invite anyone.