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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:
MzHz · 27/02/2020 17:31

The great big sexy elephant in the room...

Oh the mental picture!!

MzHz · 27/02/2020 17:34

You have seriously, honestly, really asked guests not to have sex in your house? How did you do this? In person when they arrived, by phone call in advance? By text? Does this include when parents/in-laws visit - ie is it a blanket rule, so to speak?

Signs @TheNavigator, the wipe clean laminated signs placed on the back of the door, each bedside table and one on the ceiling just in case they forget...

LakieLady · 27/02/2020 17:35

I woke to the sound of sexy groaning when some friends came to stay. I went downstairs and was astonished to find friend A sitting on the sofa drinking tea.

It transpired that the noise was her partner having a migraine.

VerbenaGirl · 27/02/2020 17:36

That is very odd. I would feel very uncomfortable as a result.

MzHz · 27/02/2020 17:37

I’d pack earplugs and stream a porn video montage on
My phone loud speaker that went on all night...

AnneOfTeenFables · 27/02/2020 17:37

Hmm, I'm always suspicious of guys rolling out the 'oh my gf is jealous/crazy' . You don't know that she has said anything. You just know he brought a really inappropriate request to you about your sex life.
I'd cancel the visit tbh - blame a forgotten family commitment - and leave them to whatever is going on between them.

BrokenMumTeenDD · 27/02/2020 17:38

Having seen your update. My guess is that your male friends partner doesn't want you there at all & has insisted on ridiculously intrusive rules & questioning to see you off. Glad you booked a hotel as my guess is that sadly this won't be the end of it.

SillySpaniel · 27/02/2020 17:41

Well that's a bit weird. My MIL was a bit funny about me staying in the same bed as DH in her house when I first met DH. She didn't want 'any funny business' going on under her roof (she was 77). It made me laugh because DH was 43 at the time. DH told her not to worry that we can control ourselves for 1 night. It's strange for a friend to ask this though. I don't think I could stay with them after this. I'd feel too awkward and unwelcome.

WhiteBadger · 27/02/2020 17:48

Weird as fuck! And getting weirder by the minute.

Agree. You need to cancel.

Can you imagine sitting opposite her. Watching you. Oh my god how uncomfortable.

She's weird even thinking it, but he's just as weird asking you.

Tartyflette · 27/02/2020 17:55

Couldn't give a monkey's what any guests of mine get up to in the bedroom, TBH. They are mostly long-married couples so i'd guess It's not a lot anyway . 😉
I change the sheets after guests have gone but i just whisk them off and bung them in the washing machine -- i certainly don't examine them. Now that would be weird.

Hirsutefirs · 27/02/2020 17:58

One word: penis beaker.

Casander · 27/02/2020 18:00

I have so many questions-
What counts as sex? Are you allowed a blow job? A quick finger? Is snogging ok? Why do people get so offended by changing bed sheets? Do they know you can change them without rubbing your face in them? What would happen if you did have sex? Will you have to have different rooms just incase? Bunk beds maybe?

So many questions

Runmybathforme · 27/02/2020 18:01

Well now I’d definitely do it. Even if I didn’t want to.

thepeopleversuswork · 27/02/2020 18:08

Do they know they can change them without rubbing their face in them

This....

What is it about semen precisely that makes it so much more objectionable than dead skin cells? Or sweat?

CupoTeap · 27/02/2020 18:09

Stay and ask for the back door key so you can shag in the garden Grin

Crystal87 · 27/02/2020 18:11

If you're discreet about it how would they even know? I'd be inclined to not go now though, it's a really odd and rude request.

TechnicalSergeantGarp · 27/02/2020 18:11

Jealous of what?

We have guests that have loud sex and the sheets are a mess. I always put fresh sheets on and change them after each guest but it's beyond grim. We had two families staying at Christmas and they were peeved that we'd put their DC in with them. I live in a very ordinary house. My OH is responsible for dealing with their laundry.

Jaxhog · 27/02/2020 18:15

I kindof get their point. It's not particularly nice if guests have noisy sex in the room next door. Can't you do without for one night?

LovelyCocksReg · 27/02/2020 18:17

@Frownette maybe you and Perverted stayed there one too many times.....

StarlightLady · 27/02/2020 18:22

It’s not a case of going without, it’s a case of such a weird request.

vilaziba · 27/02/2020 18:25

That's so weird. It wouldn't even cross my mind to request this from eny of my guests...you are guest and you are supost to feall like home????
puseled????

thepeopleversuswork · 27/02/2020 18:34

I kindof get their point. It's not particularly nice if guests have noisy sex in the room next door. Can't you do without for one night?

Of course. But its the prurience and the rudeness and control of specifying this as if it were a health and safety request which had to be complied with. As if they had a child with an allergy or something.

Also the idea that sex is something disgraceful and not to be imposed upon people is just so fucked up. Yes its obviously not much fun listening to people shagging loudly but who's to know if you're quiet. And this awful puritanical stuff about having to wash bedsheets which people had had sex on. I just don't know where to start.

If you're so repulsed by having to come into contact with the things that make people human and normal you shouldn't expect to have friendships.

I don't think I could remain friends with someone like this.

dudsville · 27/02/2020 18:35

I see you're now probably cancelling, but I'm just so curious; what would she have done if you'd had sex? Ask you to stop? Complain in the morning? Anyway, my vote is that she has an issue, for some reason he agreed to go along with it. I have you say if it were me I'd have rung and spoken to my friend and tried to learn what's going on.

strawberry2017 · 27/02/2020 18:48

Do you think she was purposely trying to make you feel awkward so you wouldn't want to stay?
Maybe they was really the goal- get you to stay elsewhere x

Bakedbrie · 27/02/2020 18:49

If my guests had sex (as long as it wasn’t too loud and kept me awake) I would take it as a positive nod to my relaxed and comfortable hospitality 😁