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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:
Frownette · 27/02/2020 16:53

You don't want to get into any funny little games going on

Justkeeprollingalong · 27/02/2020 16:54

@TheNavigator 'Blanket Rule'! 😂😂

thepeopleversuswork · 27/02/2020 16:55

This is properly batshit. They clearly have some major relationship issues going on and they are acting them out with you.

I would actually cancel the whole weekend tbh. It's not on for them to prescribe rules about your sex life and its not fair to rope you into their psychodramas. If she really is that OCD she needs to deal with it before inviting people to stay, not impose this on people.

Just as an aside: I'm gobsmacked that people are so repressed about the idea of other people having sex.

Gross to have sex at other people's houses. I would be repulsed at having to change sheets after your bodily fluids im shivvering just thinking of it yuck

Why is changing sheets upon which someone has had sex any different from changing sheets in which someone has has sweated a lot? At worst, its some water-based liquid which you screw up in a ball and chuck in the washing machine.

You people who think its yuck: how do you actually manage to enjoy it? Do you have to put a tarpaulin down on your bed when you do it? Do you only do it with the lights off and on Sunday nights?

FFS

abstractprojection · 27/02/2020 16:55

Sure but I'd be tempted to parade my naked BF around the kitchen in a chastity belt before retiring for the night

64sNewName · 27/02/2020 16:55

Wtf.

I almost certainly wouldn’t have sex at a friend’s house anyway, because I’d worry about leaving a mess or making noise, and it would put me off a bit. But I would be extremely surprised to be asked not to Confused because you know - boundaries.

Sensible adults should not be issuing instructions about the intimacy/sex lives of other visiting adults. Obviously.

Ohtherewearethen · 27/02/2020 16:55

Really, really odd and I think it has already made the whole evening odd. There's no unsaying it now and it really will be the elephant in the room. I'm just picturing her putting up one of those signs you see in swimming baths that list the rules that always include "No heavy petting". As an adult I always wondered if light petting is acceptable. Maybe she could provide a breakdown of appropriate physical contact with your own husband while in her home?

crustycrab · 27/02/2020 16:58

I think she's jealous of your friendship and has told him she thinks you'll be having loud noisy sex all night and that it's to make him see what he's missing. That you'd do it to turn him on etc.

I've got a close male friend and people are weird about it. They 100% don't believe that we are and always will be just friends. Zero attraction there at all. One of his past girlfriends was like this, very wary of me with no reason and had a strop when me and my then partner were due to stay over! Luckily his wife is normal and we get on great but at her hen do more than half of her friends blanked me. Bitches.

speakball · 27/02/2020 16:58

That's really odd. It's either he fancies you and is weird or she has some massive problems and is weird. Either way one of them is weird.

LouiseCollina · 27/02/2020 17:02

*Don't go.

Partner's a fucking weirdo, as is the husband for choosing to convey her message. You don't need to expose yourself to this level of intrusive batshittery.*

This^

I would not go, and I would tell them why. That level of intrusion is just intolerably inappropriate and I would feel they really ought to be told that. Weirdos...

FilledSoda · 27/02/2020 17:02

I hope she never finds out he described her a mental !!

DreemOn · 27/02/2020 17:03

I'm amazed that so many people are taking this so seriously - I bet the OP is pranked by her friends. The original request was just about plausible but the follow up text sounds like a joke.

It's kind of funny. Even more funny when it end up in the Mail 😅😅

DreemOn · 27/02/2020 17:04

Being*

FizzyIce · 27/02/2020 17:07

I want to know what she’s jealous of ?
Is she not getting any from her oh or what ?
Odd

Cheeseandwin5 · 27/02/2020 17:11

Do it in her front garden than

TheWernethWife · 27/02/2020 17:13

You could take a towel with you to protect the bedsheets, on the other hand, you could tell them thanks but no thanks.

EC22 · 27/02/2020 17:15

I wouldn’t go, that’s really really peculiar!
Why are they even thinking o about that!
Oddballs

EmeraldShamrock · 27/02/2020 17:19

She probably had a bad experience. Do they have DC. My friend came home for 3 days with her new man, had loud headboard banging sex the entire time, moaning screaming the lot.
I won't do that while children can hear. She was never invited again.

EmeraldShamrock · 27/02/2020 17:19

Disclaimer: I have not rtft.

BoudoirPink · 27/02/2020 17:20

You could take a towel with you to protect the bedsheets

You could. You could also shout down the stairs to your boyfriend in carrying tones, 'Darling, did you remember to pack the Sex Towel?'

TokenGinger · 27/02/2020 17:21

I'm with those wondering whether the message has actually come from her.

If he's like a brother to you as you say, my first thought was that he doesn't want to hear you having sex but it feels too awkward to say that so has blamed it on his Mrs. Either that, or she's told him no funny business will be happening on Saturday out of respect for you guys, and now he's worried he'll get turned on listening to you two bonking so has banned you Grin

EC22 · 27/02/2020 17:23

I’ve had sex in loads of friends houses and I’m sure they have in mine, so drink wine there n get frisky 😂
I don’t think it’s at all disrespectful, I try to be discreet.

LakieLady · 27/02/2020 17:23

Totally agree! Those triple sec people are disgusting! everyone knows Cointreau is FAR more classy grin

Cointreau stopped being classy when Dita Van Teese appeared in their advertising.

Grand Marnier, now that's proper classy.

TidyDancer · 27/02/2020 17:25

I don't get the jealousy thing but if anyone asked me not to have sex it would immediately make me want to do it more.

NurseButtercup · 27/02/2020 17:29

Oooooh I'd definitely be having lots of very loud sex just to piss her off...yes I'm childish and very very petty

Unsureconfused46 · 27/02/2020 17:30

Weird
Don't go