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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Asked not to have sex.

434 replies

Hohohole · 27/02/2020 12:03

We're going to stay with friends for the night on Saturday. I've only met the my friends partner a couple of times, but she asked through her husband that my partner and I not have sex while staying at their house.

Isn't this weird?
Would you ask this of guests?

OP posts:

spongejack · 27/02/2020 16:21

I’ve asked this of guests. I think it’s horrific to have sec in someone else’s house. Highly disrespectful

OMG! How could you and more importantly why? If you think it's so wrong surely you'd presume they'd just not do it, otherwise you're saying that you're the odd one which you are?

Straycatstrut · 27/02/2020 16:22

Thing is, after all this, there is going to be an awkwardness between you all if you meet up now no matter what. The great big sexy elephant in the room...

Shockers · 27/02/2020 16:22

The thought of having sex wouldn’t have occurred to me until they said it- then I’d want to because it isn’t allowed and that gives it an added frisson .

Straycatstrut · 27/02/2020 16:24

I’ve asked this of guests. I think it’s horrific to have sec in someone else’s house. Highly disrespectful

What about using their toilet? Vomiting? Periods? Sweating? all that banned too?

Sex is healthy and natural. This is such a ridiculous way to think.

MimiLaRue · 27/02/2020 16:24

I think she means Triple ‘Sec’
I mean , it’s pretty gross isn’t it .. lots of other things you can put in a cocktail

Totally agree! Those triple sec people are disgusting! everyone knows Cointreau is FAR more classy

messolini9 · 27/02/2020 16:25

You have seriously, honestly, really asked guests not to have sex in your house? How did you do this? In person when they arrived, by phone call in advance? By text? Does this include when parents/in-laws visit - ie is it a blanket rule, so to speak?

Can you stop being so ridiculous @TheNavigator?
Herringbone's butler takes care of all the unpleasant communications on the distasteful subject.
He also supervises the scullery maid as she scours the guest bedlinen for evidence of foul play - any recidivists are refused a further invitation.

BoudoirPink · 27/02/2020 16:25

I'm more intrigued by the number of posters who think it's horrifically 'disrespectful' and 'discourteous' to have sex in someone else's house!

But then again, this is Mumsnet, where a significant minority of people (1) think it's completely unacceptable to have a bowel movement anywhere other than in your own bathroom (2) do not do so at work, ever (the horror!), even if working 12-hour shifts, and (3) when sharing a hotel room with even a longterm partner, sneak down to the reception area to poo.

So, good to know that this extends to all bodily effluvia.

But that's why I'm still here, for other people's minor lunacies...

KarmaStar · 27/02/2020 16:28

Her home I guess and her rules .Perhaps she didn't want to have to wash ' icky ' 😀 sheets.
Haven't read the full 12_pages (sorry)but maybe a child or elderly relatives staying she was worried about?
No,though I would not ask that not would I dtd in those circumstances.
Happy days😊

SoupDragon · 27/02/2020 16:31

this is Mumsnet

Thing is, it's made up of ordinary Real Life people. I think it's just that they admit more here than they would do in public!

saraclara · 27/02/2020 16:32

He text back:

Yeah she's gone a bit mental, getting very jealous lately. Surely you can hold off for one night haha awkward I know.

"of course I can, and would have anyway, for the record. But now it all feels a bit weird. I'm looking forward to seeing you both, but I think it would be more comfortable for all concerned if DP and I overnight at the Travelodge"

Jolonglegs · 27/02/2020 16:33

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard of. We've stayed with friends many times and never been asked this.

SirChompsAlot · 27/02/2020 16:34

The long and short of it is that anyone who is bothered enough to actually ask this just shouldn’t have anyone stay over at all.

GabsAlot · 27/02/2020 16:35

Whats he going to talk to her about-well ive spoken to HO and she doesnt want to stay now so can we can tell her she can have sex?

its just all sorts of odd

MatildaTheCat · 27/02/2020 16:38

Or,

‘Hi Friend, I’ve had a word with Mr Hoho about your request and we think we will be able to comply with your request. However, if it all gets too much for us to bear would you object to the garden? We can scream if that helps which will fool your DP into thinking we are a pair of foxes. Looking forward to catching up!’

BoudoirPink · 27/02/2020 16:40

Thing is, it's made up of ordinary Real Life people. I think it's just that they admit more here than they would do in public!

Well, yes, exactly, @SoupDragon that's what fascinates me about this site. You read a thread which features a significant minority of posters who assume everyone else is equally violently offended by the idea of someone else having a poo in their bathroom, or having sex while spending a night at their house, or who regard it as normal to have to nip down to reception at a hotel because they can't poo in the en suite loo of their room if their DH of 20 years is with them and then you walk down the street thinking 'I must be passing people who think like this...'

Thedogscollar · 27/02/2020 16:41

Totally ludicrous. Who has the right to tell you when and where you can have sex?? I don't care if it's their house. If they are that precious then don't have guests stay over.

mrsleftie · 27/02/2020 16:42

Well, being told I couldn't do it, would make me want to do it more 😳😊

TheWordmeister · 27/02/2020 16:43

Surely no one has sex when they are guest for one night at a friends house?

I’m intrigued by this comment. Why ever not?

SewItGoes · 27/02/2020 16:43

Very odd to ask, though I might prefer it if guests didn't, tbh! It's a little gross to think about (messy sheets, etc.), and I really don't want to overhear them. . . but asking would be so unbearably awkward and personal.

Surely you simply pretend that sex doesn't exist, under the circumstances, and handle the sheets as gingerly as possible before they've been washed.

I'd feel awkward with her after that "request", but cancelling after being asked to. . . abstain. . . seems very uncomfortable, too! Like you're saying, "Oh, sorry. I can't go without sex even one night, so partner and I shall be living it up in the nearest hotel. All. night. loooooong."

Hirsutefirs · 27/02/2020 16:44

He’ll run in and throw a bucket of water over you.

OldUnit · 27/02/2020 16:49

I wouldn't go.

If there are jealousy issues from either camp it'll be really weird and uncomfortable. I'd tell him as a friend too,this isn't healthy.

Doggybiccys · 27/02/2020 16:49

Weird AF to request this. Slightly off topic - I worked at butlins as a teen and was stayed in staff accommodation. Woken up one night by my chalet mate getting shagged vigorously on the bottom bunk!! I thought it was an earthquake to begin with

SunshineCake · 27/02/2020 16:50

I think your username has to be a pisstake with a thread with this topic.

I think it is ridiculously weird that not only did he tell you what she asked but that he says she's jealous. If you are genuinely just friends and one doesn't secretly have feelings for the other I wonder if he's having his ego stroked by her by insinuating stuff about you.

All a bit ick.

Sagradafamiliar · 27/02/2020 16:51

Your friend seems to want an excuse to talk about sex with you. I don't know what the fuck is going on with him, her or the pair of them but that's too weird for me.

Frownette · 27/02/2020 16:52

Good you decided on Travelodge

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