Moh issued an ultimatum

[ayvasili]

So, I'm getting married in two weeks to the love of my life, and I am so looking forward to it.
Wedding planning has been stressful as I live in the uk but we are getting married in the county we are from.
I just arrived this week to do the final dress fitting and finalize plans etc,and last night I met up with my moh for a few drinks. She told me that she feels she can no longer be part of the wedding because my father is flying in from Italy and she is afraid he will infect everyone with Coronavirus.
She has said that if he comes,she won't be attending the wedding.
Am I being unreasonable to choose to have my dad there instead of my best friend? Obviously if my dad had the slightest fear of infecting us all he would stay away, but he isn't near any of the places that have been shut down in quarantine. And now I have to find a new moh!!! So stressed.

@R2519

I remember reading this and thinking what an overreaction but a hell of a lot has changed since then. Hopefully OP and MOH are still speaking but I completely understand MOHs reluctance in light of what has happenned.

Yes. In retrospect, the MOH had a point didn't she?

I too hope the moh and op are still talking and that the wedding went well anyway.

Don't throw your friendship away over this, in ten years time you will see this very differently. It is not the end of the world, and people should be able to make their own decisions about what is safe at the moment.

Did you manage to get married OP? Your wedding would have been around lockdown if my dates are correct.... I would be surprised if many people made it to the wedding given what we know now happened in the next 2-3 weeks after you started this thread

Did the wedding go well op?

Moh definitely had a crystal ball. I expect the DF wasn't allowed to travel anyway and the wedding postponed?

I wonder what PP think now about their unkind comments about the OP's maid of honour?

Moh definitely had a crystal ball.

No, she had the brains to understand how a pandemic works. Too bad that so many people have such a strong normalcy bias that they judge others for their well thought out decisions.

You can’t choose her over your Dad but likewise you need to respect that she isn’t comfortable. She has been honest with you and sad though it is, she obviously feels strongly enough about it to make this stand.

Covid is affecting people in many ways and everyone has to do what they feel is right for them.

This thread is truly fascinating to read 4 months later! It's amazing how much has changed in that time.

Also wondering how the wedding went if it went ahead?

It’s funny reading this thread now

Anyone want to bet the same sort of people who would go in on the MOH as ‘hysterical’ and ‘ridiculous’ and that she would be ‘dead to me’ are the same idiots who not three weeks later were fighting people in the supermarket aisle over the last packet of flour and denouncing people on Facebook because they stood 1.9m behind them in the queue for the cash point?

She's absolutely within her rights to do what she feels she needs to do, in order to feel safe right now.
But you also don't have to agree with, or pander to her.

Assuming you have a good relationship with your dad, he absolutely takes precedence over your friend, and you don't need a MoH to get married.

It's hard and horrible, but you'll just have to tell her "fair enough", wish her well, and promise to meet up after the wedding.

I was just reading the opening post and thought how can they have a wedding at the moment, then noticed the date. It is fascinating (or frightening) how much has changed in the last few months.

This thread has not aged well.

Hope everything worked out well for the OP.

I would love an update on this - it’s almost a bit chilling reading it back knowing everything that happened in between. We were all so naive weren’t we?

Wow this didn't age well!

I understand you’re hurt but I’d respect her decision and say no hard feelings. Your wedding is just a day, hopefully a friendship lasts a lot longer.

Good luck with your wedding, I hope you have a lovely day

Whoops! That’ll teach me not to RTFT.

Shameless place mark

Well the risk also comes from U.K. folk, where the death rate and cases are way worse, no temp checks anywhere!

Oh not to mention It was 2 U.K. residents who “happened” to reinfect New Zealand last week.

I hadn't noticed the date when I started reading today was going to ask OP where the hell she was that a wedding was going ahead! Wonder how it all turned out.

Wow. I'd forgotten about the time when people were called hysterical and all sorts for adding an extra couple of items a week to their shopping and for social distancing before we were told to. I bet there are a lot of people (the MOH included) who, amidst the horribleness of this are rightly feeling a little bit vindicated.

@ayvasili so how did it go? or Not.

Yes, a very interesting thread to read now!!!

Back in February and early March I had some strange conversations with people, when I was questioning whether trips abroad planned at my work and at dd’s school, for April and May, would be going ahead, and people thought I was crazy...