To of told a lie to not collect her kids

[Guiltybutstuck]

I feel really guilty. A mum I speak to at the gates sent me a message an hour ago. Her youngest was being sent into hospital with a bad chest and she asked if I could possibly pick her two boys up from school. One is in my son's class and the other is older. I don't particularly know these kids other than if we walk up the road with them.

When I read the message the first thing I thought was we have a mile walk home and I don't think I can cope with a toddler and 3 kids with bags and drink bottles and coats etc. They all strip off and Chuck their bags on the pushchairs etc after school.

Also I'm having a really bad period. It's heavy and I'm already in a sweat about school run leaking. I am under the Dr for this and currently getting help and having scans etc. The thought of needing to dart to the loo with other peoples kids here that I don't know is a bit tricky.

My partner's working home today so needs the quiet.

Also it's pancake Day and I have only got enough for us four. My kids will need feeding around 5ish. There will be no telling when they will get back.

Also I would of needed to do abit of a mad hoover and tidy before the school run which I really cba doing today.

I said we were at my sister's tonight so wouldnt be going home. I did say I could nip them to a park for half hour to give them time to come back.

I feel so guilty. I just wasn't prepared and I don't really know them.

Am I a cow for not being more helpful? I was surprised I was the choice of help too.

There haven't been any deleted posts, after all. Perhaps you need to check your settings so they show up.

I’m not taking the piss - just pointing out that it’s “ to have told a lie” not “ to of......”. Did you see the MNHQ comment?

Chicklit ffs indeed.

Did you see the MNHQ comment

Evidently not there is a clicky link above that will take you straight to it if someone can't read a thread properly.

@ChickLitLover

Thankyou. That's exactly how I see this post too. They know on Mumsnet they can get away with bullying so they be exactly what they are not in real life. I appreciate your posts and defending me. You are a decent human being who doesn't feel the need to attack me. You won't get this army to listen though. They think it was about pancakes and hoovering. They won't acknowledge the sensible stuff like strangers. Like my husband picking up kids without seats he's never met. The fact their dad has a car and collected them from school early as they worked out for themselves that it would be a late one. They have concluded in a liar and horrible etc. They won't budge. It's the standard pattern on here. They will claim ive been much worse and aggressive in my replies. I've noticed that excuse has been used already. What they actually mean is how dare you try answer is back. If you don't take our advice or opinions without defending yourself then we will kick you down further as we must win. Narcissistic traits.

Thanks again for your lovely posts. I've brought a little teddy for the baby and seen a lovely picture of her giggling today at home. The mum knows I am not a horrible person and that's all that matters

Thanks again. You are right about anxiety and anemia. It's not easy. Not expecting anyone on here to care though. More fun to bully me. Imagine people being so vile in real life. The world would be fucked! X

Cba to read the whole thread but you sound awful. Fancy pancakes and hoovering being your excuse. One evening of inconvenience to help someone whose baby is in hospital. As a mother yourself, you should feel bloody guilty.

No it’s not your responsibility but as a mother and a human being, saying no was heartless

Thank God you came, LochJessMonster

Well 71% of people think YABU...

Well with all the name calling they’ve all quickly moved from hash tagging kindness 🤷‍♀️

Yep I suppose 30% don't though. So if 400 people support me then that's enough for me. No different to be being able to count your friends on one hand. It's also quality not quantity. I'll take the people who don't bully and make a mountain out of a molehill anyday.

@lochjessmonster

You are not required to join in now. It's done. It was never about pancakes or hoovering. Join the rest of them though.im sure they will join you in making another 10 pages about how vile I am for not looking after the kids. I was in bed last night poorly anyway. I will be accused of making it up but I was. I'm also sick today and going to hospital tomorrow for a blood transfusion. Maybe after that I'll have some energy again and can be a better person like the people on this thread. They are really kind caring, helpful people. I wish I could be like them.

OP hide the thread or ask for it to be deleted. Hope you don't dwell on it. For all the people saying they'd drop anything they were doing to help an acquaintance, I wonder how many actually would.

I would imagine she was scared for the baby and wanted her oh with her in hospital

Sometimes being scared is nothing to do with wanting or needing an extra pair of hands in hospital, esp in those first few hours.
Frightened poorly baby, who just wants to be in your arms. Bursting for the loo with baby on your knee is no fun. Trying to listen to doctors with crying baby. Nurses expecting you to be able to hold frightened wriggling child while giving inhailer yourself. Sometimes an extra pair of arms are a blessing.

Sometimes much needed help comes from the random stranger who just mucks in.
Thanks to the Auntie who supplied me with juice and sweets on DCs first admission.
Thanks to the Dad who carried my stuff to the car while I carried DC leaving second admission.
Thanks to random woman in A&E who got me water from vending machine using her own card, when the machine wouldn't take cash. Admission number 3.
Thanks to random knitters who knitted newborn baby hat's (different hospital) but you made me cry.

I don't know any of their names but they all made tough days a little bit easier. I thank them for their kindness. And at that I walk away from this thread.

None of those things are the same responsibility as asking someone you don't know well to look after your DC.

This thread is bizarre. A lot pf projection I think.

Flip me #bekind didn't last long! You needed to look after yourself today and that is completely ok. On another day you might have been able to chose differently.

OP I haven’t read the whole thread but I can imagine what has been said over 10 pages.
I hope you are feeling better and tomorrow goes well at the hospital.
I would ask for this thread to be deleted, you don’t want to be drawn in to re-reading it in early hours when you can’t sleep.

I hope you feel better soon OP. You may have had different responses if you hadn’t mentioned hoovering, pancakes etc.

@HeadachesByTheDozen, you do know that it's not normal to fixate on someone's grammar, yes? When the OP has been stressed to the max and bullied on here for six pages, you seriously think that your obsession with the words she uses is the most important thing going on?

In real life, I'm a SPAG pedant. But I don't go correcting people out of context. And I certainly don't do it on a forum (especially to someone as beleaguered as the OP)

People have different levels of literacy and education. Deal with it. It's not your job to be correcting them publically and making them feel shit. Give it up.

I hope that once you've had your tests you don't need any help from anyone because you wouldn't deserve it. I really hope that the poor woman was able to find someone decent who was prepared to support her in her hour of need and that the baby is okay.

I hope you feel better soon OP. You may have had different responses if you hadn’t mentioned hoovering, pancakes etc.

I agree with this. And if the thread title had been something like 'AIBU to not collect her kids because I was in a lot of pain from my periods and have hospital tests tomorrow?' the response would have been almost unanimously YANBU (apart from a few self-righteous twats who always pop up on AIBU threads to attack the OP whatever the question might be).

You may have had different responses if you hadn’t mentioned hoovering, pancakes etc.

People latched onto this because it suited them to attack the OP. And that’s because people love having a go at others online where they can hide behind their screen. Vile, shame on them. It great if people help us out in life but no one has to. OP has her own health issues going on, people chose to ignore that. Shame on them. I hope they’re satisfied. One day, maybe they will learn the art of disagreeing with someone who seems perfectly nice, without being nasty.

I’m glad you’ve come back on OP to stand up to all the posters that were so awful to you. I hope this thread hasn’t got to you and you can just put it out of your mind and concentrate on getting yourself feeling better. Lovely to hear that the baby seems well and is happy now at home. Hope the transfusion tomorrow helps.

I still don't see any reason for the thread to be deleted.

And as someone who neither attacked the OP for feeling she couldn't help, nor criticised her grammar, I note that she still hasn't said why she resorted to lying. She's obviously seen the question as she referred to it.

Don't post on AIBU if you don't want people to answer. It happens all the time. If you want people to agree then add I'm not interested in people's opinions I just want people to make me feel better!

@saraclara Obsessed? Fixate? I wrote one post on it. One. The rest of my posts were about her DH and driving. My one post on grammar was after my many posts about her DH and driving. Go bug all the others who mentioned grammar before me and tell them they are obsessed.

Btw, if no one corrects anyone on here, then no one will learn. It's called helping someone.

Exactly Rosebel, this another case of the OP asking if they were unreasonable, the majority says yes, then the OP says 'no I'm not, because.....' and 'you're all mean!' I think it is the obnoxious and belligerent way the OP responds that gets people off side.

I am one of the 70% who think you were unreasonable. How quick you are to point out that less than a third of posters agree with you. Why bother posting?

I am pleased the baby is better and at home though.

I'm not one who has made any personal attacks on the OP.

I have just re-read the OP, and I'm very struck by this:

" the first thing I thought was we have a mile walk home and I don't think I can cope with a toddler and 3 kids with bags and drink bottles and coats etc"

Why wasn't the "first thing you thought": "I'm very ill - in fact, so ill that I am going to hospital in two days' time"?

I think people would have been more sympathetic if that had been your first thought. But it wasn't.

I'm also still baffled as to how someone so ill could be offering to take two extra children to the park for an hour after school.

It doesn't make sense.

(I have also had a transfusion for anaemia, btw, and know how awful severe anaemia can be. I also know I helped other people in emergencies, because that's what you do).

The text didn’t have to be a lie given the op was so ill and preparing for hospital too. I’m sure the mother would have understood.