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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents bought me a house to rent and I hate it

252 replies

jamjarlife · 25/02/2020 12:53

Fully prepared to get flamed here, NC for obv reasons.

I have 1 dc and I am married, I have rented my whole life and every year we struggle with rent increases, landlords deciding to sell and having to move etc. My parents have just retired and are fairly well off. They offered to buy a house in my city for me to rent from them. I didn't even know they'd started looking when they presented me with a house to view about 15 miles from where I was currently. I viewed it and liked it, area seemed fine and parents had done their research and decided it was a good area to invest in, good schools for dc etc. They proceeded. They spent 3 months re-decorating and sorting the house out and we moved in just after Christmas.

I hate it. I hate the area, I hate the traffic, I hate the (look) of the school my child would most likely go to, I just hate the whole feel of the place.

What do I do? I know its only been 2 months so perhaps I need to give it a better chance but honestly I miss where we used to live. AIBU?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 25/02/2020 12:55

You've not visited the school yet?

What don't you like about the area/amenities nearby?

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 25/02/2020 12:56

Do you pay bills, living expenses? Have you rptalked to your parents about it.

Two options

Stick with it and see how it pans out
Talk to your parents and see if you can sell and buy elsewhere.

GinDrinker00 · 25/02/2020 12:56

My parents brought me a house. I hated it. (More for the reasons they were the landlords from hell but hey). If your unhappy, give them notice, they can always rent to someone else? They should of taken your feelings inconsideration before buying since your the one living there.

Herja · 25/02/2020 12:58

Your family have been very generous. It costs about £5k to buy a house and another 5 to sell one. Realistically, your parents can't be expected to sell and buy again in a new area.

It's a shame that, as the house was to rent to you, you were not more involved in the choice, but what's done is done. Perhaps the area and house worked better for them as a long term investment. As I see it, your choices are stay in the house, with a fair rent and security, or private rent in the area you want to live in, while your parents rent out this house to a member of the general public. That's about it really.

CalmdownJanet · 25/02/2020 12:58

Well to be fair they didn't buy you a house, they invested in a property to rent, two totally different things so I would give it a chance and move if I wasn't happy, I definitely wouldn't stay out of obligation when the situation benefits them probably more than it does you (assuming you aren't paying stupidly low rent that is)

Porcupineinwaiting · 25/02/2020 12:59

You need to give it, and the area, a proper chance. Nowhere is at it's best in Jan/Feb and you sound homesick. Take some time, make the house yours, get to know people locally. Then review again after the summer.

doubleshotespresso · 25/02/2020 12:59

Oh my goodness OP- I am sure many here would love problems like yours!
But seriously...
I viewed it and liked it, area seemed fine and parents had done their research and decided it was a good area to invest in, good schools for dc etc.
What has changed since you moved in then?
You liked it? Presumably checked out the area that is only 15 miles from your rented home? Are you effectively paying them rent with a view to owning this?
What do you hate and why? What feels so wrong?

Sorry if I am missing something but this reads like a beyond generous gift most could only dream of...

grudieabbey · 25/02/2020 13:00

You’re being SO unreasonable I can’t even be bothered to explain why in detail. Instead I’ll point on how your own post identifies that you’re being unreasonable.

You say “ I viewed it and liked it, area seemed fine and parents had done their research [...]They proceeded”

Then say: “I hate it. I hate the area, I hate the traffic, I hate the (look) of the school my child would most likely go to, I just hate the whole feel of the place.”

YABU, selfish and ungrateful.

Just wow.

AvocadoOwl · 25/02/2020 13:00

But it's not a gift though, OP is paying rent.

Daftodil · 25/02/2020 13:00

parents had done their research and decided it was a good area to invest in, good schools for dc etc

If it's in a good area, no reason why your parents can't find new tenants if necessary. Maybe visit the school before you make any big decisions.

every year we struggle with rent increases, landlords deciding to sell and having to move etc.

These issues will be back if you decide to move elsewhere. Are these issues better or worse than staying where you are and not liking the traffic etc.?

HollowTalk · 25/02/2020 13:01

Why would anyone want to have this problem, @doubleshotespresso? The OP has to pay rent to live in a house she doesn't like in an area she doesn't like - who would want that?

MereDintofPandiculation · 25/02/2020 13:01

They should of taken your feelings inconsideration before buying since your the one living there. They did. She viewed it and liked it.

Tetrapanex · 25/02/2020 13:02

I think you need to stick it out for at least a couple of years. Sometimes it’s hard settling in a new place. I’d try to create some great memories in the house - have friends and family round, plan things for the summer in the garden etc I don’t think you’ve given it long enough to settle in.

mummymeister · 25/02/2020 13:04

So this isnt going to be an easy one to sort out and whilst I am not going to flame you I do think that you need to look at your role in all of this. How many months/years have your parents had to listen to you moaning on about your landlord? they probably thought this was the biggest/worst thing in your life and just wanted to make things better. Why didnt you say, right at the outset, what the ground rules on this purchase had to be. I have to say, if I were them and you pitched up two months in saying you hated it and wanted to move I would be absolutely livid. they only bought to rent to you, not as an investment that you just happen to live in.

I think you have to give it more of a go than two months. look around the school, look at things in the area. Make an effort. At the moment you are coming across as a bit of spoiled brat throwing your toys out of the pram without giving it a proper go. was the insecurity of your last living arrangements not worse than being in an area thats not perfect for you? Really, dont say anything to them for at least 6 months. Go out have a look around get stuck in and then if this time next year you still dont like it then go and speak to them. But prepare yourself for them to lose their shit with you because if you were one of mine I would be savage.

Herocomplex · 25/02/2020 13:04

Give it a chance. At least until spring comes. This time of year is pretty grim everywhere!

TinyPop14 · 25/02/2020 13:04

I would give it some more but if you don't change your mind tell them you don't like it and start looking for somewhere else to rent. They didn't buy you a house, you are paying them rent to live in it. They can easily rent it out to someone else.

Twinkerbellsmum · 25/02/2020 13:05

Boo fucking hoo Hmm

AnneLovesGilbert · 25/02/2020 13:05

Did you choose how it was decorated? How much rent do you pay? I’m trying to work out how much it’s yours and how much theirs. If you move out they can find other tenants. Will it be yours when they die?

Badoukas · 25/02/2020 13:06

You are a safe tenant in your parents buy to let property. Unless you are paying super cheap rent and can stick at it long enough to see if you can adjust, move on.

boats · 25/02/2020 13:07

That is a tough one OP. Could they not just rent it to someone else, though?

formerbabe · 25/02/2020 13:08

Whose name is the house in?

TheBouquets · 25/02/2020 13:08

Do your parents know the area where they bought the house? Maybe it was the best house for the money they had available to invest in housing. Is it a better area or better house than the one you were renting from? I would assume that their thoughts were to help you now rather than waiting till they die while still being in control of their own money. In the end it is likely that you will inherit that house and maybe also their house.
I noticed that you are married. How much did your In Laws put into the purchase of the house you are in which your parents bought? Do your in laws have plans to buy you and your husband and child a much better property then the one your parents bought?
This is classic "I want" and looking a gift horse/house in the teeth.
You were lucky to get any house bought for you and you should show a bit more gratitude

HappyHedgehog247 · 25/02/2020 13:10

Two months is not long to really know it perhaps?

Witchend · 25/02/2020 13:15

We moved into this house and I hated it for about 6 months. It wasn't home.
Now I love it, and it's home.

sassbott · 25/02/2020 13:18

This has to be a joke.

Your post smacks of entitlement. If you don’t like it, move out and I’m sure your parents will make rental income from someone else.

They sought your input. You said you liked it. And they bought it for you. If your parents were going to be controlling/ interfering (aka the landlords from hell), then you would have known about that quality before now. My parents would have been the landlords from hell, which is why I never took a penny from them and always stood on my own two feet.

You took them up on their offer. And are now moaning about it on here? Entitled.