Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents bought me a house to rent and I hate it

252 replies

jamjarlife · 25/02/2020 12:53

Fully prepared to get flamed here, NC for obv reasons.

I have 1 dc and I am married, I have rented my whole life and every year we struggle with rent increases, landlords deciding to sell and having to move etc. My parents have just retired and are fairly well off. They offered to buy a house in my city for me to rent from them. I didn't even know they'd started looking when they presented me with a house to view about 15 miles from where I was currently. I viewed it and liked it, area seemed fine and parents had done their research and decided it was a good area to invest in, good schools for dc etc. They proceeded. They spent 3 months re-decorating and sorting the house out and we moved in just after Christmas.

I hate it. I hate the area, I hate the traffic, I hate the (look) of the school my child would most likely go to, I just hate the whole feel of the place.

What do I do? I know its only been 2 months so perhaps I need to give it a better chance but honestly I miss where we used to live. AIBU?

OP posts:
user1480880826 · 25/02/2020 14:46

This is a bizarre situation. Why didn’t you get involved in choosing the house and location? Why on earth did you let your parents decide your future?

AutumnRose1 · 25/02/2020 14:47

Your title is completely misleading

They didn’t buy you a house. You don’t benefit from this.

Move to where you like and they can rent to all the other renters looking!

PhoneTwattery · 25/02/2020 14:48

@SpokeTooSoon

OP, you might want to get Mumsnet HQ to change your title. Your parents haven’t bought you a house but posters are responding as though they have. It’s very misleading and that’s why you’re getting a hard time.

You mean that MNetters haven't RTFT? Surely not? Grin

chazbl · 25/02/2020 14:49

Sometimes in life, despite our best laid plans, things don't turn out how we hoped. In this case, you looked at it, thought you'd like it, and you didn't.

If you hate it and it's making you unhappy - move. It's a location, something you have choice over, you can pay rent anywhere, so make yourself happy.

BrokenMumTeenDD · 25/02/2020 14:50

Ah, just spotted your update. It's not a favour, it's a business investment.

Do give it more time as it's obvious a more stable place to live & it might grow on you, but otherwise, look after yourself & DCs first & foremost & without guilt as in this scenario, you don't owe your DPs anything, unless they are saving part of your rent o your behalf to gift you for property investment later

FruitorCheese · 25/02/2020 14:52

Your initial post is also misleading, giving the impression that your parents' rental was more affordable.
It's mean of them not to help you by charging less rent or helping you to buy.

Bluntness100 · 25/02/2020 14:53

Do your husband and kids not like it either, your post seems a bit me me me.

I’m also confused why you say they bought you a house, they clearly did no such thing, they bought an investment property and are renting it to you.

If you don’t like it, give notice and move. You’re renting it like any other property

DonKeyshot · 25/02/2020 14:54

You saw it before they bought it and agreed that it had everything going for it plus you liked the area/schools etc so they invested their hard earned cash into a property for their dd to rent at a presumably advantageous rate.

It would be churlish in the extreme to raise any of your present objections to your dps and as two months is nothing in the grand scheme of things I suggest you give it more time and, hopefully, it will become home.

Even the most attractive of areas can look bleak in winter and it could be that when spring rolls round you will begin to see another side of your locale.

Bluntness100 · 25/02/2020 14:55

Also why have you had to redecorate If they spent three months doing it, before you moved in two months ago? And your op does seem to suggest they did this to financially benefit you as you were struggling with your rent, now you’re saying that’s not the case, you pay the Same amount and are still struggling.

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 25/02/2020 14:59

THinking about this, do you automatically say "they bought me a house" as that's how it's being presented in the family, and you are being made to feel in their debt?

You say you are being a knob, but you're not! You aren't in a noticable better position than if you were renting privately from a stranger.

This would be doing you a favour if this was a house you would like to live in even if it was a stranger landlord. It would be doing you a favour if they let you pick the house within their budget, as you'd be the one living in it. It would be doing you a favour if the rent was set at a level so you could save for your own deposit/have a better standard of living.

But this wasn't putting you first at all, and so if you and your DP want to move out to another private rental that suits the way you want to live now, then don't feel you have to put your parents feelings first.

AnuvvaMuvva · 25/02/2020 15:03

I think "movers' remorse" is a thing. I've had it when I moved from London to my first suburban house, then again when I moved from there to the countryside. Each time I thought, "What the f**k have I done!"

I never had it when I was renting. Maybe it's something about the permanence of it. You can't just ip and go. Plus you probably feel extra "trapped" because your parents have treated you and there's a duty to feel happy.

I'd give it time. It's taken me a year or more to fully embrace a new town. You can speed it up massively by throwing yourself into your new location: get a job there, join a club, fund a book group, meet some Mum friends, etc. Even just have a coffee in a different cafe each week and make small talk with the person who serves you. Anything that gets you feeling like you belong.

frazzledasarock · 25/02/2020 15:05

I’d move somewhere I liked.

You’re not making any financial savings. They bought where and what they wanted. They didn’t really buy you a house.

I’d look for another place to rent or buy myself. Somewhere I liked.

Littlebluetruck · 25/02/2020 15:13

It happens. I have friends who bought a house, moved in, hated it, and sold it after 6 months. They are much, much happier now.

Look, the situation benefits your parents more than it benefits you. You are still renting and your costs haven’t went down. You, on the other hand, are a trustworthy tenant to your parents and are guaranteed to pay your rent each month.

Move. There is no obligation for you to stay if you are not happy. They did not buy you a house. They bought themselves an investment. They will find another tenant.

Toddlerteaplease · 25/02/2020 15:13

You viewed it and liked it, tough luck I'm afraid. They've done you a huge favour.

Littlebluetruck · 25/02/2020 15:15

They've done you a huge favour

How have they done OP a favour? Her rent hasn’t went down. Sounds like OP is doing them the favour. They know they will get their rent every month and don’t have to worry about non payment, having to evict the OP or the house being trashed.

Toddlerteaplease · 25/02/2020 15:16

Presumably the parents don't want to be landlords to anyone but their daughter. I'd be absolutely furious if I was them.

Toddlerteaplease · 25/02/2020 15:17

@Littlebluetruck it's a secure long term tenancy. They are like gold dust!

momtoboys · 25/02/2020 15:19

The bottom line is you are a tenant. You do not have to live there. Your parents can always find another tenant.

FlamingoAndJohn · 25/02/2020 15:20

Presumably the parents don't want to be landlords to anyone but their daughter. I'd be absolutely furious if I was them.

Well that is their tough luck. She can't stay in a house that she doesn't like, paying more rent just to keep them happy. If they want to be landlords then they will get the tenants they get.

Lily193 · 25/02/2020 15:21

Technically, they haven't bought a house at all, they've only taken out a mortgage on the property. You're currently renting the house so the mortgage must allow this. Give them reasonable notice to enable them to find a new tenant and find a house you love. The house is an investment, your parents know this and will have been prepared for potential changes in tenancy in the future, which is why they were so adamant they wanted to but a house in a particular area. No need to feel bad.

MulticolourMophead · 25/02/2020 15:24

Toddlerteaplease OP hasn't mentioned any form of tenancy agreement, so we don't actually know if it's a secure tenancy or not. She's clearly getting bugger all benefit from it otherwise.

Sunflower20 · 25/02/2020 15:25

Some posters need to stop the bitter jealousy. Just because their parents didn't buy them a house doesn't mean the OP is obliged to love the house her parents bought for themselves, which she is paying not an insignificant amount to rent.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/02/2020 15:25

For goodness sake, they didn't buy you a house. They bought themselves a house, which they charge you rent for. They sound controlling.

myself2020 · 25/02/2020 15:28

You are not alone - i know so many people i this situation. a generous gift turning into a massive burden - it tends to happen if somebody else forces you to live somewhere. its not a gift, its a burden

FruitorCheese · 25/02/2020 15:28

If the OP had mentioned that the costs of renting the parents' place are as high as before, rather than emphasising how much she hates the area, replies would probably have been different.

It's irritating when a crucial point is dropped in later.

Swipe left for the next trending thread