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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents bought me a house to rent and I hate it

252 replies

jamjarlife · 25/02/2020 12:53

Fully prepared to get flamed here, NC for obv reasons.

I have 1 dc and I am married, I have rented my whole life and every year we struggle with rent increases, landlords deciding to sell and having to move etc. My parents have just retired and are fairly well off. They offered to buy a house in my city for me to rent from them. I didn't even know they'd started looking when they presented me with a house to view about 15 miles from where I was currently. I viewed it and liked it, area seemed fine and parents had done their research and decided it was a good area to invest in, good schools for dc etc. They proceeded. They spent 3 months re-decorating and sorting the house out and we moved in just after Christmas.

I hate it. I hate the area, I hate the traffic, I hate the (look) of the school my child would most likely go to, I just hate the whole feel of the place.

What do I do? I know its only been 2 months so perhaps I need to give it a better chance but honestly I miss where we used to live. AIBU?

OP posts:
PlumsGalore · 25/02/2020 14:21

Yanbu, you are worse off and providing them with a pension income in an area you aren’t happy in. Give notice to leave.

SpokeTooSoon · 25/02/2020 14:22

I can’t believe the harsh comments on here.

The OP hasn’t been given a free house. She’s been pressured to move to a house owned by her parents and pay them rent while they sit back and enjoy the fruits of their investment.

You didn’t ask for it. You didn’t want to live in that location. You were coerced. You’re not better off financially.

They can let it to someone else (without the generous £50 discount) and you can be independent. It’s never a good idea to get tied into financial arrangements with family.

FlamingoAndJohn · 25/02/2020 14:23

If you are paying full market rent then I would give it until its been 6 months then move.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 25/02/2020 14:24

God why are people such dicks, jealousy?

No OP YANBU - sounds like your parents railroaded you into this because it suits them. You're no better off and living somewhere you don't particularly like. Give it a few months just to see if it gets any better and if it doesn't then just give them notice and move on. They haven't bought you a house at all, more like they want an added pension/investment and it suits them for you to live in it. Doesn't sound like they are doing you much of a favour rental price wise either, so all these wow and diamond shoes comments are just ridiculous.

dognamedspot · 25/02/2020 14:24

OK, since your update... you move if you need to. There's no benefit to you in living there and they aren't doing you any favours. The benefit is for them, they get the income and a tenant they can expect to give them no trouble.

FlamingoAndJohn · 25/02/2020 14:24

Also, rather than investing like this why didn't they look into helping you with the deposit to buy a house? They have two houses and you have none, it doesn't seem fair.

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 25/02/2020 14:26

I'm surprised this is being seen as generous by your parents, generous would be if they had several grand spare, giving it to you to be the deposit on ahouse you bought and owned. You are paying the mortage, so the same cost as if you bought this house, but they decided rather than giving you a gift, they would make an investment.

Obviously they shouldn't feel the need to give you a house, but similarly, you don't need to give them a secure income from their investment by being obliged to take on covering their mortgage.

They haven't done an amazing thing for you, they have made a wise financial investment for themselves, which might have benefited you by having 'good landlords', but I bet there's good landlords in the area you want to live in.

It sounds like you are close to paying market rents for this property. If they weren't the landlords, would you have even considered moving to this rental property? If not, what is in it for you other than no risk of your landlord deciding they want to give you notice every 6 months?

Talk to your DP, discuss how you would like to live. Is buying an option the future? If you are no better off financially renting this house compared to one in your perfered area, would you be happier as a family to live back in that area?

Your parents can find other tenants. Remember, whatever they say, they have not bought you a house, it's not your house. It's their investment. you are not obliged to lower your family's standard of living to boost their income.

justasking111 · 25/02/2020 14:26

Jakers they are charging you market prices, plus your rates gone up. Give notice to quit now is my advice. We gave our DS 50% discount on our flat, which meant he could buy a house. He has bought a house but sub let the flat for extra income. That imo. is what parents are supposed to do.

Tabbykitty · 25/02/2020 14:28

As someone who privately rented for 15 years and had two different landlords announce they were selling up, giving us 8 weeks to desperately search for somewhere suitable anywhere near eldest's primary school and with a toddler and baby as well I say YABU. You can't put a price on the security you now have, your parents have done a kind and generous thing for you and your DC.

We finally scraped our security by a family member on each side advancing a few grand of inheritance each for a 10% deposit and found a mortgage broker who was wonderful and found us a high St bank willing to give us a just under 70 grand mortgage despite us being a one income family with a few dependents (husband had been with his employer over 15 years and we had no debts). We are in the North, I know 3 bed houses aren't available for less than 80 grand in more expensive parts of the country.

The compromises we made. The house isn't in an area we would have chosen, had to move elder children's schools, is an ex 1950s council house (had had at least two private owners before us), not in the best decorative order, serviceable kitchen and bathroom though, clean carpets, had to buy with no certification for the gas appliances but got a gas man round soon as got the keys and turned out we had a safe, good quality boiler with central heating and fire. Yearly checks done since, I won't risk that. I love the room sizes, high ceilings and size of garden compared to new builds. Have made the best of it, long term project in terms of buying a pot of paint as can afford it, painting one wall at a time etc. It's home, I love it and hope to be here for the next 40 years. Took my DH 2 years to see it as home though.

Children loved it from day one. Finally the feeling of a house of our own, security, they know they won't have to move schools again.

Unless buying is an option for you in the next couple of years I say stay put and make the best of it. Hopefully it will become home in time.

Straycatstrut · 25/02/2020 14:28

I can't believe they're charging you that amount a month. I thought they'd bought it outright?

HollowTalk · 25/02/2020 14:28

If you're no better off they really haven't done you a favour, have they? They've bought a BTL and decided it would be easier if you were their tenant.

Canadianpancake · 25/02/2020 14:29

If you'd been buying the house yourself and had viewed it, liked it and put in an offer, what would you do now? I bought a house last year, I love the house but the area is a bit of a ball ache. I'm dealing with it because we couldn't possibly afford to move again so soon. You're in a bit of a pickle because if you were just renting you could move, but as your parents bought the house specifically to rent to you, you're now in a bit of a pickle. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to your parents about how you feel.

bakedbeanzontoast · 25/02/2020 14:30

I want your parents lol

comfypantsisme · 25/02/2020 14:32

OP tell them its not for you. wrong area, rates too high etc.

they bought it for them not you. they`ll get another tennant

DobbyTheHouseElk · 25/02/2020 14:32

YANBU

Your parents haven’t bought you a house. They’ve made an investment in a house and they have got a easy tenant in you. I’m not sure how they thought they were helping you. Why couldn’t they have bought a house in the area you lived previously?

SpokeTooSoon · 25/02/2020 14:33

OP, you might want to get Mumsnet HQ to change your title.

Your parents haven’t bought you a house but posters are responding as though they have. It’s very misleading and that’s why you’re getting a hard time.

Mistlewoeandwhine · 25/02/2020 14:33

I feel sad that your parents are charging you so much rent. Will they leave the house to you in the end? Otherwise it just sounds like they are making money off you.

SarahSissions · 25/02/2020 14:34

Unless the rent is hugely subsidised they haven't bought you a house, they've bought an investment property with a guaranteed tenant.

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 25/02/2020 14:34

See @Tabbykitty - that's what I'd expect the OP's parents to do, if they had a few spare grand, and wanted to see their DD secure in a house she could make a long term home for her family, most families would give that money to the OP to use as a deposit on her own home.

They've taken the spare money, made an investment with it, are still charging close to market rents, and making no personal sacrifice, with a low risk tenant.

OP - if you aren't happy, serious conversation with your other half and start looking for somewhere else. It's ok to say this doesn't work for you. They'll be able to get tenants at £850 a month (and if they can't, they were ripping you off!)

ListeningQuietly · 25/02/2020 14:35

I wonder if they realise that the mortgage interest is no longer tax deductible for them ....

And if they had the money to buy it without a mortgage,
they would have been better gifting you that amount as a deposit towards your own home

MulticolourMophead · 25/02/2020 14:38

I agree they haven't bought a house for you, it's just that you are currently renting it. You've exchanged one tenancy for another. Maybe it's £50 cheaper than your previous rent, but as it's band D instead of band B, you're not actually much better off at all.

So not really family rates, and right now you have no idea if they will increase the rent later on. Do you have a proper tenancy agreement?

Namethecat · 25/02/2020 14:39

They haven't bought you a house, they've bought themselves one and had you lined up as someone they know to rent it .

Nancydrawn · 25/02/2020 14:42

I've entirely changed my mind after your last update. Your parents aren't doing you any favors here, or at least any favors more than they're getting in return; yes, you have stability, but they do too. They may not sell and move, but you won't trash the place, move in illegal roommates, be short on rent every month, be difficult about repairs, etc. It also saves them the hassle of finding a tenant.

I'm surprised that they're charging you full market rent for the place. I would imagine in this scenario that they'd want you to build up your own nest egg, if not for you alone then for their grandchildren. And the fact that you moved under false pretenses--that they actually increased the rent by £150/month, seems awfully mean. I imagine that £1800/year feels a lot more to you than to them.

In any case, I'd stay for a few more months to give it a good-faith effort, but I'd also keep my eye out on other possibilities. If they seem surprised, I'd simply tell them that you had banked on the rent being £700, as they said it would be, and you have to downsize to a place that's more affordable. It'll surprise them, but it's true.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 25/02/2020 14:43

I don’t see the big issue here. Give it a bit longer and if you still hate it in say, 6 months, move back to the area you like (you say you’re no better off anyway) and your parents can rent it to someone else. Explain the reasons why you don’t like it.

No biggie surely? Is it your parents reaction you’re worried about? because they have no right to dictate where you and your dc’s live.

BrokenMumTeenDD · 25/02/2020 14:44

2 months is nothing, you're probably just missing your old area & not liking the forced change. Give it at least 6 months & try & focus on the stuff you DO like about the house & area.

I hate this house for the first 4 months of living here because area etc is quite different to what I was used to, seemed so much nosier etc & I just wasn't used to traffic so close or people constantly walking past my windows. I absolutely love it here now though,

Also give yourself time to adjust & actually check the school out before judging. I rejected a school that DD ended up moving to after bullying issues because I didn't like the look of it. It turned out to be an amazing school & I kick myself for not choosing it in the first place.

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