Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents bought me a house to rent and I hate it

252 replies

jamjarlife · 25/02/2020 12:53

Fully prepared to get flamed here, NC for obv reasons.

I have 1 dc and I am married, I have rented my whole life and every year we struggle with rent increases, landlords deciding to sell and having to move etc. My parents have just retired and are fairly well off. They offered to buy a house in my city for me to rent from them. I didn't even know they'd started looking when they presented me with a house to view about 15 miles from where I was currently. I viewed it and liked it, area seemed fine and parents had done their research and decided it was a good area to invest in, good schools for dc etc. They proceeded. They spent 3 months re-decorating and sorting the house out and we moved in just after Christmas.

I hate it. I hate the area, I hate the traffic, I hate the (look) of the school my child would most likely go to, I just hate the whole feel of the place.

What do I do? I know its only been 2 months so perhaps I need to give it a better chance but honestly I miss where we used to live. AIBU?

OP posts:
CatteStreet · 25/02/2020 13:18

I think there's something else going on here. It seems a bit of a radical swing to go from liking it when you viewed (and your parents having done research re the area being OK) and hating it all so extremely. Does this have something to do with feeling trapped, perhaps, or some kind of resentment towards your parents for the control they now have? Are you paying a 'normal' amount of rent? Is this more about actively hating where you are now or missing where you used to be? Does it feel, perhaps, as if your parents have made choices for you again (is there any history of them 'knowing what's best for you'?)

You say you're married, but you post mainly in the singular - how does your h feel about all of this?

Egghead68 · 25/02/2020 13:19

I'd give it a bit longer before making any decisions (at least 6 months). See if you can find anything to like about the area (you said you thought it seemed fine at least initially).

ShadowOnTheSun · 25/02/2020 13:19

I don't understand the responses. OP's parents didn't buy her a house. They bought the investment property for themselves and are RENTING IT to the OP. She's paying them rent (plus all the usual bills, council tax, etc). So she's a tenant, except her landlord is not an agency/private random landlord, but her parents. I fail to see the favour in this at all.

I'd move, OP. You're renting now and paying money to live in the area you hate. So move and pay money to live in the area you love/like. And I don't see the problem with the parents bit, surely they can get another tenant and rent their property for profit to them.

I lived in one of my parents properties for a while (not for long). Free of charge (cultural differences, in my culture it would be unthinkable to charge your children rent, no one does that), but paid the bills, of course. Now that was a favour. Renting from your parents? You may as well rent from a stranger, what's the difference? That they wouldn't kick you out suddenly? Not worth it living in the area you hate just for that.

Sexnotgender · 25/02/2020 13:20

Are your diamond shoes too tight too?

formerbabe · 25/02/2020 13:21

If the house isn't in the ops name and she's paying rent...then I'd say her parents haven't actually bought her a house.

Waspie · 25/02/2020 13:21

Give notice and move back to where you are happy. Presumably you have a 6 month break clause in your tenancy agreement? They haven't bought you a house - they have bought a house to let out, but that doesn't have to be to you.

What does your partner think?

taptonaria27 · 25/02/2020 13:21

There's been loads of posts on here from people while bought their own houses and hated them, feeling they'd made a mistake. I think you have to give it your best shot for at least a year before declaring you hate it.
Make it yours, discover the local area, have fun, invite friends over, change your attitude to the place and it may well grow on you (basically fake it TIL you make it)

QuimReaper · 25/02/2020 13:21

I assume that the reason this is being presented as a generous thing for them to do is that you're getting very preferential rate with no prospect of rent rises, in order to enable you to shore up some money to buy yourself, and to give you some stability when your child starts school.

So if you really hate it and want to move out, it'll suck for you, but your parents will get a much better return on their investment. I can see that you'd feel awful telling them you no longer want to live there given their (presumed) motivations for buying it, but there's a very substantial silver lining for them.

Nowayorhighway · 25/02/2020 13:22

Give it a chance. I hated where we live for about a year tbh, I was utterly miserable. I slowly got used to it and found a few positives so it’s grown on me a lot. Two months isn’t long enough to decide you hate a place imo. You need a secure place to live which is exactly what you now have.

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 25/02/2020 13:23

Is it because you feel they've railroaded you into it and you haven't had a choice or been part of it ? (they did the research, presumably viewed a few houses before opting for this one, they decorated it etc)

Maybe decorate how you want it to be so it becomes your home not theirs which you happen to be renting from them. Make your mark on it and give it some time

PhoneTwattery · 25/02/2020 13:24

I get you OP. You need to at least like where you live a little bit. Your home should be your sanctuary and to hate where you live can be soul destroying.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 25/02/2020 13:24

You’ve moved from a home to a house. It takes a while before a new place feels like a home. I’ve moved several times and you have to allow at least 6-12 months to settle.

Bluetrews25 · 25/02/2020 13:24

Is it that you don't like the house or that you are feeling unsettled by the change? 15 miles away is large enough a distance for everything to be quite unfamiliar still, and not as easy to keep up with your mum friends, if at all. Easy to see why you would be hankering after your old life.
Maybe work hard at meeting up with and making new friends with people in this area? Do you go out to work? - that would be a constant factor if everything else had changed.
Moving house is traumatic!
Cut yourself a bit of slack!

safariboot · 25/02/2020 13:25

Seems like you've basically got a case of buyers remorse.

Most tenancies have a fixed term period of six months or longer. Even if yours doesn't, I'd still treat that as a threshhold as it were.

It sounds like your child isn't at school age yet? When do they start? That could be a good reason to move.

Just remember if you move, don't complain about your new landlord to your parents!

GoldenCrunchMunch · 25/02/2020 13:25

It seems a weirdly controlling thing for your parents to have done. They bought a house they chose, decorated it how they wanted it and now you have to live gratefully in it forever (whilst still paying rent!).

Give it a fair try but if after a few more months it still isn't right, then you are allowed to leave, your parents can still rent their investment property to someone else.

Purplequalitystreet · 25/02/2020 13:25

I think OP is getting a bit of a hard time here. Just because her parents have bought a house doesn't been she's stuck there forever. She's a tenant so they can rent it to someone else.

However, what exactly is it that you hate OP? I moved areas a couple of years ago and it's taken until now to start to feel settled. What's wrong with the house? I'd try and stick it out for a year unless it's truly horrendous (e.g. nightmare neighbours, dangerous area etc). That way no one can say you haven't given it a fair try. You might just be feeling homesick for your old area.

Lindy2 · 25/02/2020 13:25

You really need to give it longer than 2 months and you really need to view a school before deciding you don't like it. It does somewhat sound like you jump to quick conclusions about things based upon your school comments.

I would suggest you take a 12 month view. Try to get involved in your local community. Use the local facilities, join a club etc. ie actually get to know the place you are living.

If after 12 months you still don't like it then move out and let someone else rent it from your parents. However, you'd better then not complain about future rent rises or being given notice by landlords.

Cohle · 25/02/2020 13:26

Presumably you did your due diligence when you viewed the property? What's changed since then?

I think all you can do now is weigh up whether how much you now dislike the house outweighs the benefits you are presumably getting from living there (below market rent?, security of tenure, no rent increases etc etc).

Have you actually researched the school or do you just not like the look of it?

chocatoo · 25/02/2020 13:33

Give it time. Every time you start to have negative thoughts, stop yourself and don't moan to anyone about it, as it makes it harder to then like it as time passes (you have to 'unsay' all the bad things). Totally concentrate on the positives (of which there are many).
Fake it now and hopefully you will start to believe in it in a few weeks/months.
Have some fun making it nice!

CakeAndGin · 25/02/2020 13:35

You viewed it, you liked it.

Look, it happens. I bought my house, moved in and hated it. It’s taken 3 years for me to start liking my house. I know a poster will say it’s different because I bought but you rent, but it’s not. Even with renting privately you have to find a deposit, costs to move, have to move. Most people wouldn’t just be able to move again if they didn’t like it. So the best thing would be to give it some time, go out when the weather is nice, visit the school and start making some links in the community.

If in 18 months (then you’re before the deadline for primary school applications), look to move. However, you can’t ask your parents to sell that house and buy a new one - they’ll lose a lot of money (stamp duty, surveyors, legal fees). You also won’t have a leg to stand on if you’re complaining about private landlords.

PinkMonkeyBird · 25/02/2020 13:35

OP, they didn't buy you a house it is an investment for them. You are a tenant and can move whenever you want to.

justasking111 · 25/02/2020 13:36

If you are paying market rates rent wise then move on. But wait a few months this time of year you can feel depressed anywhere in the UK. If you are getting a serious discount then save, save, save.

izzywizzygood · 25/02/2020 13:37

Wow.

ainsisoisje · 25/02/2020 13:39

They have invested at the end of the day whilst obviously a generous gesture, they could surely rent to someone else if the area doesn’t grow on you.

Disfordarkchocolate · 25/02/2020 13:40

Honestly, I would move. You are paying rent so pay rent somewhere you like to live. That is the advantage of renting. Your parents may have done their research but you didn't. Find an area you like and find a good landlord. If there are things you can't change, like traffic, you won't be able to settle.

Swipe left for the next trending thread