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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parents bought me a house to rent and I hate it

252 replies

jamjarlife · 25/02/2020 12:53

Fully prepared to get flamed here, NC for obv reasons.

I have 1 dc and I am married, I have rented my whole life and every year we struggle with rent increases, landlords deciding to sell and having to move etc. My parents have just retired and are fairly well off. They offered to buy a house in my city for me to rent from them. I didn't even know they'd started looking when they presented me with a house to view about 15 miles from where I was currently. I viewed it and liked it, area seemed fine and parents had done their research and decided it was a good area to invest in, good schools for dc etc. They proceeded. They spent 3 months re-decorating and sorting the house out and we moved in just after Christmas.

I hate it. I hate the area, I hate the traffic, I hate the (look) of the school my child would most likely go to, I just hate the whole feel of the place.

What do I do? I know its only been 2 months so perhaps I need to give it a better chance but honestly I miss where we used to live. AIBU?

OP posts:

myself2020 · 25/02/2020 15:30

@Toddlerteaplease they shouldn’t have bought a random house then! either let the child choose (within limits of course), or be prepared to rent to somebody else.

bluehighlighter · 25/02/2020 15:30

You viewed the house and presumably had the chance to look around the area, check the local schools, etc? This is your fault, not that of your parents, who have been extremely generous.They even did it up for you, and at their expense.
I can't see where it says that you're paying your parents rent? If they "bought you a house", I assume you're not. Get used to the area. Don't be nasty about the school just because you don't fancy it from the outside. Do anything extra that's needed to the house - eg triple glazing.

Zombiemum1946 · 25/02/2020 15:33

You don't say what's changed since you viewed the property and your parents then bought it. If nothing has changed could you be feeling upset about the situation not the house? Try looking at this as a means to an end. If the rent is reasonable and you can save for a deposit for a mortgage then that's a reason to adjust. Maybe you can save a bit more for the family. Def chat to your partner and try and nail this down a bit more clearly for yourself.

BoudoirPink · 25/02/2020 15:33

This doesn't sound much like generosity, tbh, OP -- and I think the votes are only going the way they are because people are reading the title and not the thread.

For me, in your shoes, it would come down to whether the advantage of a secure tenancy (if you have a guarantee on that?) outweighed all other considerations, including being slightly worse off than in your last rental. As others have said, your parents can find another tenant at market rate, as they seem to view the house as primarily an investment, rather than anything specifically to do with you.

Upping the rent from what they originally told you they would charge does seem mean.

doubleshotespresso · 25/02/2020 15:35

@HollowTalk I'm sorry from the thread title "my parents bought me a house" my impression was that the rental payments would be allowing the OP to get into the property ladder thus paying the mortgage instead of wasting money on their privately rented property. I'm still unclear if this is the case or not ?!?

Littlebluetruck · 25/02/2020 15:40

The OP was paying £900 rent in her last home. She is now paying £850 rent, so not much of a difference to allow her to get on the property ladder.

userxx · 25/02/2020 15:40

Give it more time, 2 months isnt very long. If you still hate it then move.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 25/02/2020 15:40

As I read it, the OP had the house bought with her in mine as a tenant. The parents are using her rent as a return on their investment. So the OP is still a tenant.

TheTrollFairy · 25/02/2020 15:41

Im confused as to why you moved to an area you weren’t interested in? I know I would be unhappy living in an area other than the one I’m in so it’s not worth it for cheaper housing.

They are charging you based on their mortgage which is fair but if it’s no cheaper financially for you and in an area you hate then I would be serving notice and moving. It was laid out as beneficial to you but actually what are you getting that’s beneficial to you? Cuz it’s not cheaper rent/bills

BigChocFrenzy · 25/02/2020 15:46

Weigh up whether you hate the house more than you hated the insecurity of your previous renting
Not having to worry about an LL selling up and evicting you all is a really big plus

YABU if you don't give it a 6 months trial,

but do tell them that it hasn't saved you any money

maybe they'll even lower the rent to more like what you first expected

YANBU if a major factor in approving the property before is that they gave the impression you would have much cheaper rent

If you are hoping they'll give you a deposit for your own house instead,
it sounds v unlikely, especially after you changed your mind

MRex · 25/02/2020 15:48

Buyer's remorse can be commonv with houses, as can people getting cold feet at a late stage of the process. You're in a similar position just that you haven't bought the actual house, but maybe feel a little bit trapped because you don't think you have the option to move like you did before.

Write down all the issues you have with the house, then work through them one by one to figure out which are really an issue rather than you feeling uncomfortable. Next write down everything that you do like about the house, including "don't have to move" and "might inherit it". It might be that when you look at it logically you actually don't mind the house at all but just need a few tweaks and time to get comfortable.

JudyCoolibar · 25/02/2020 15:49

What's changed about local schools that they were OK when you viewed the house but no longer OK now? If it's only the look of the school that you dislike, I'm sure you know that that's the least important part of it.

NurseButtercup · 25/02/2020 15:51

Oh dear, your rent is only £50 cheaper per month, but that small saving has been swallowed up by the higher council tax banding. In addition to this you have a longer commute due to the increased traffic, so your fuel costs have increased.

The only benefit it looks like you've gained is tenant security, assuming that your parents won't decide to sell the house whilst your living there. If you're really really unhappy moving is probably the best option.

Good luck with your search.

Scrumptiousbears · 25/02/2020 15:52

Your parents are going to have a nice little tax bill every year, have they taken this into account?

Zombiemum1946 · 25/02/2020 15:54

Sorry I didn't see the post about the money side of things. Would you feel able to tell them you're taking a financial hit on this ? It's a new build and would rent out quickly so they're not going to lose out financially. You sound like you've been blind sided about this money wise, feel pushed into this, and are regretting it. They say money and family should never mix as it rarely ends well, I can testify to that being true. I'm sure they wouldn't want you to feel like this. It's an investment for them but it's making you miserable.

mummymeister · 25/02/2020 15:55

OP - they havent brought you a house - please change your misleading title!

Had this been a house purchased for you outright with no renting costs involved, my comments stand.

as it is, they have brought a house THEY like in an area THEY wanted and are expecting YOU to cough up the market rent. That is an entirely and totally different situation isnt it.

They are guilt tripping you - we brought this for you, you know. They didnt. they brought it for themselves as an investment with a guaranteed tenant that wouldnt kick up a fuss if stuff needed repairing, wouldnt insist they did the gas safety type checks and who wouldnt trash the place.

You need an urgent conversation with them straightaway. tell them this isnt working out and whilst at £200 a month less rent you might have given it a go at only £50 you arent prepared to. and get them to stop saying that they have brought you a house - pull them up on it each and every time. If they wont budge and reduce the rent then move out giving the statutory notice.

forrestgreen · 25/02/2020 15:57

I'd expect you to be better off financially. Then I'd say you're not beholden. Take your time and see what's out there and look at schools too.
They've bought a house to rent out, you've not really benefited other than knowing the landlord.
You may find something you like or fall in love with where you are.
But don't expect them to buy another house.

Original poster

jamjarlife · 25/02/2020 16:01

Sorry, trying to read all the replies!

As far as I know, there isn't a mortgage - they bought it outright. They are aware of the tax bill etc, and we do have an assured short hold tenancy agreement in place. I honestly think if we wanted to move, they would sell the place. Whether or not they would go for round 2 is another story.

I feel incredibly guilty that I am feeling this way, and I would never say anything to my parents at this stage. I just wish I could shake this feeling.

OP posts:

averythinline · 25/02/2020 16:04

How old is your dc? I would let the school choices/timing decide partly as if you like the school then it maybe worth it ... otherwise would look for a school you would like and rent near there...
if you're no better off you are not beholden...

userxx · 25/02/2020 16:04

So they bought it outright and are charging you £850???

AutumnCrow · 25/02/2020 16:05

OP, I do feel for you in light of your 2nd and 3rd posts.

But why the phrasing of your thread title? Why the slant of your opening post?

Do your parents often make you feel guilty and beholden?

Littlebluetruck · 25/02/2020 16:06

So, why are they charging you £850 a month rent if there is no mortgage? I take it that is £850 a month profit for them?

Again, how is this benefiting you? They aren’t helping you get yourself on the property ladder charging rent like that. Are they controlling?

AutumnCrow · 25/02/2020 16:07

Also they have you confused over the finances, and they are using you as a risk-free tenant paying a market rent.

ListeningQuietly · 25/02/2020 16:08

Jamjar
The fact that your parents are charging you full market rent to live in a house they could afford to buy for cash
speaks volumes.

If they really wanted to help you they would have given you a deposit to buy a home

Original poster

jamjarlife · 25/02/2020 16:10

@AutumnCrow honestly thats just how I've always thought of it!

I've asked mumsnet to change the title, which they've sort of done...

OP posts:

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