Aibu to just want my daughter not to be in pain?

[Feelingsolost1]

Hi, im looking for some help, my daughter is 7, and has been in a lot of pain in her lower left side of her abdomen. It came on out the blue last Sunday night and has got worse. We have visited the hospital twice and the doctor twice. They have taken bloods but couldn't see an issue. Her tummy hurts when being pressed, urine seems clear. No heavy lifting, not muscle pull or anything. I'm honestly at a loss, pain medication doesn't do much, doctor is going to check which bloods were taken and call me after lunchtime. She's passing poo and wind. This pain leaves her crying, doubled over. Any ideas?? Thanks

Hope you get answers today and an ultrasound 🙏

So glad to hear you are being seen to, and I'm sure you will get answers soon. Bet you're knackered though!

I'm so so pissed off this morning, DD is clearly in pain, quite a lot on her right side, her urine shows leukocytes and high white blood count too, but her bloods are OK. I've been told she doesn't look ill.. And that she will get better herself and doesn't need an ultrasound. What on earth do I say? I'm not a confrontational person but I'm furious.

You don’t have to be confrontational to be assertive and advocate for your daughter.

You say that you are not happy with that assessment and that you given the history you expect an ultrasound to be done. You ask when it will be done, not if it will be done. You do not be apologetic. You do not ask for permission. You state facts calmly. You repeat things if necessary. You state that you know your daughter, they do not, and that what they are saying - considering everything that has happened over the last however long - is not acceptable.

Ask for more pain relief. Tell them she genuinely DOESN’T look well for her, and that you can’t take her home till they’ve found out what’s causing it.

“It has been X days. She is not ‘getting better on her own’ - she is getting worse on her own: pain increasing; stomach that was flat now distending; Urine that was clear now has leukocytes; blood that was blear now has white cells. These things alone indicate a worsening clinical picture, not an improving clinical picture. I have been with her solidly since this started and I am telling you that she is not well and I am not happy with what you are saying. An ultrasound is non-invasive, quick to conduct, quick to arrange and quick to interpret - please explain to me why it is not clinically indicated when she is clearly worsening not improving.”

If you are still not satisfied then contact PALS and do not allow them discharge her until you’ve spoken to them.

OK thank you all. I've asked to speak with the nurse in charge. I'll follow the above tips x

Mothers instinct is strong- keep that in mind

This happened to me at a similar age,nearly 60 years ago. It did eventually ease off but I was always been prone to stomach pain and constipation. Due to some issues that occurred 3 years ago I had a colonoscopy, camera up the bum! They got to one part and couldn't get the camera round, I ended up on my side with two nurses and a doctor pressing on certain places in my abdomen, lots of gas and air and finally they got the camera moved on. I was told I had a "bit of a kink" in my bowel. Everything was OK but the amazing bit was that the pain stopped, I assume all their efforts straightened the kink out a bit. The only thing that helped me was making sure I didn't get constipated, which was hard as I am prone to it, but if everything is soft it makes life easier.

I hope it isn't anything serious.

Oh yes, and you expect investigations to find root cause. Not just ‘an ultrasound’.

You are not prepared to take her home, or have her sit on the ward, without a plan to conduct investigations to find out what is wrong since something clearly is: it is not sufficient for them to say “yes, something is wrong, we don’t know what, but she’ll be ok” - they need to explain to you why they believe that no investigating is the correct course of action, why they believe she will get better without investigations or treatment, and why they are not concerned despite a worsening clinical picture. The days of just taking stuff on faith from doctors just because they are doctors are gone I’m afraid.

Get them back, get them back, get them to explain it all. If they want you to trust them and their decisions then they need to explain them.

We got sent home from hospital the first time and I suspect her appendix had already burst then. They never did bloods but fortunately my GP did and I took the results with me. Despite the shocking infection rate they tried to send her home again. Thanks to posting the results on MN I knew to fight. 6 days in hospital.

The single most powerful thing you have in your arsenal as an advocate for your child is the question “why?”

Asked in the right way (assertive vs confrontational) and it will put you in the drivers seat in many conversations.

She’s been in severe pain for however many days. It’s getting worse not better. Tests that were normal days ago are now showing potential problems, and they haven’t yet established why. Discharge is therefore not appropriate until they can rule out something which will become a medical emergency if untreated.

That’s what I’d be saying. Absolutely awful, I’m sorry OP. It shouldn’t be this difficult to get an abdominal ultrasound for a child who’s experiencing concerning symptoms and severe pain.

I've spoken with head nurse. She said DD will be kept in for observation and the consultant will be back this afternoon to see if the pain has become worse/better. She said the next course of action would be an ultrasound if the pain isn't getting any better, but they need to be sure they need to give her one as there are risks of radiation. I told her in the nicest way, the consultant does not know my daughter and therefore cannot tell if she looks ill! She agreed and said he may have not worded it correctly.. And that he was probably needing to rush off to surgery. She's told me to write down some questions to ask.

That’s brilliant OP. Well done for persevering. Hope your daughter gets better soon.

Glad you have had a more positive response from the nurse. There is no risk of radiation with US scan, so I would question that argument

OP, there is absolutely no radiation risk with ultrasound. It uses sound waves. The nurse is getting mixed up with X rays or CAT scans.

Dd had similar as toddler. Writhing pain they nearly took appendix out but wasn’t that. It was mesenteric something went as quickly as it came. My mother was looking after her and took her to hospital as it got so bad. But was fine in the end hope you had e same outcome

Risks of radiation?! From an ultrasound?! It doesn’t use ionising radiation!

However, the consultant will be back this afternoon. Good news. Write your questions (although I’d say rather than questions focus on points to raise), remember:

• you’re the parent - you have parental responsibility, not them,
• you’re allowed to disagree (politely) and you’re allowed to ask them to explain themselves - it is their job to make sure that you and your daughter are fully informed about everything so that you can make proper decisions,
• ‘why’ is your best friend - if necessary force him to explain himself by asking why to everything
• ask “what is happening now?” and “what is happening next?” and “what is the overall plan?”

Good luck, you’ve got this.

I know other people have said it but it could be mesenteric adenitis. My son was in hospital last month with it - presented like appendicitis, pain in same place, he was doubled over and making the most horrible noises. No other symptoms like vomiting or constipation. They did scans and blood tests etc - white blood cells were up because it's a virus which causes the glands to go big. He'd had a very mild temp for a few days before, nothing else.
It went really quickly and suddenly in the end. Really hope it's something similar, horrible to see them so poorly.

Risks of ultrasounds vs risks of peritonitis? No brainer, surely.

And they can’t go by pain because if it is appendicitis and the pain suddenly stops, that’s a bad thing!

I'm sorry you're having to argue, it's incredibly frustrating.

I think it's also worth saying very clearly that you know her best, you are very worried that there is something more serious going on as this is absolutely not normal for her and she is presenting as very unwell to you, that you are the only person who has seen her consistently from the start and that you are telling them she is getting worse not better.

Doctors are told (as I understand it) to listen to parents when they insist that their child is not right. I'm not saying this one definitely will but I'd put it across very firmly anyway.

I'm hoping the consultant is a bit more constructive this afternoon. If not, contact PALS and ask for a second opinion. Fingers crossed for you.

I had very very similar symptoms. Finally after three months of pain and being passed around my GP referred me for an ultrasound, where it was discovered that the tube between my bladder and right kidney was blocked by a tumour (thankfully benign). This caused by kidney to swell and become infected, causing the pain. I think it’s called a UPJ obstruction.

An operation and a course of antibiotics fixed it and I am now fine! Hopefully it’s nothing serious and is a similar quick fix for your DD. Good luck

I would say I can't believe a nurse thinks there's a radiation risk from ultrasound, but every time I deliver a lecture about radiation risks and dose to radiographers, they're always shocked that mobile phones don't use ionising radiation, and they should definitely know better.

*my kidney, not by!