To finally evict my lodger, even though she will end up homelss

[Throwawaytheatre]

Hi all,

Posting more for advice, but a little bit of aibu too...

Currently lying awake with worry and anxiety despite having to be up for work in less than four hours.

I’ve posted about my lodger before. She’s an old friend of mine and things started well. However; the past few months have been hard work. The first issue I had with her was when she had her partner at the time stay over. I told her I didn’t want men I didn’t know in the house and her partner in particular made me very uncomfortable. She had him stay over anyway and then after I had a chat with her to let her know how this made me feel, she had him over till one in the morning about a month ago.

She has since broken up with him, and this evening went on a date with a man she met online. She does not know this man at all and he is in his 30s (we are both 20s). She then brought him home and woke me up by having very loud sex. I have been unable to fall back asleep as I have been quite anxious about having a strange man she’s known for a few hours in the house. He could be anyone for all I know.

Just before Xmas she quit her job as she couldn’t hack doing nights anymore. She is now on UC; and is behind on rent. Our agreement says rent is weekly but she pays monthly in arrears if you see what I mean? She missed the Jan payment and has told me she will be unable to pay any extra this month (so assuming she pays be next week as normal she will still be four weeks behind ifyswim?) - I will add she always seems to have money for tobacco but that’s by-the-by I suppose.

As she is not working she has the heating on all day and my last gas bill was over £100.

The main reason I want to end the agreement is because she obviously doesn’t respect that this is my home and property and doesn’t respect that I don’t want strange men in it! However, I wonder if I would be better off making the arrears the “official” reason?

Do I have to give her a months notice or just a week - the agreement is weekly rent (in writing) but as I say she pays monthly.

The only thing is if I evicted her, she would have no where to go; she has no family local apart from her mum and the whole reason she ended up here is cos her mum threw her out. But I can’t keep living like this!

Thanks.

woodchuck shes not really a lodger is she, more a friend who is staying at someone's house. she doesnt really pay rent and the little she was contributing she hasnt since 100 pound. The OP should absolutely change the locks and tell her to sod off

the last 100 pound in december*

If she is not working and in receipt of UC including the Housing element, this is paid monthly in arrears.

Place marking to find out what the CF had to say.

Yes, she is a CF and I would also remove her ASAP.

At worst she could claim lack of notice but you could claim non payment of rent, which would call it even.

She is not going to pay what she owes you because she clearly has no moral compass.

Quit while you are ahead.

Yes, one week's notice. Point her in the direction of 'Spare Room' She needs to leave.

Be strong tonight, stand your ground. She’s broken the rules, more than one of them. She’s a piss taker.

woodchuck shes not really a lodger is she, more a friend who is staying at someone's house. she doesnt really pay rent and the little she was contributing she hasnt since 100 pound. The OP should absolutely change the locks and tell her to sod off

From the OP it appears that she has been there for at least a few months and while she may have not paid much rent since Christmas she presumably paid before. They have a written agreement which states that she is to pay weekly. So to me that sounds like a lodger who is in rent arrears rather than a house guest.

Good luck for tonight. Stand your ground!

I doubt a judge would consider not paying rent and bringing back random blokes from the internet as reasonable either.

Well they would oversee consider non-payment of rent has caused eviction but that doesn't mean they would consider it reasonable to throw them that night.

Marking my place to come back to see how it goes.

Well they would oversee obviously consider non-payment of rent has caused as a reasonable cause for eviction but that doesn't mean they would consider it reasonable to throw them out that night.

Do you really want her homeless and dying in the snow?

Maybe she can go sleep.over at the total strangers house, you know the one that could have been a psycho that she brought in to ops home?
The home with the rule of no men staying over.
Or she could go home to her mums.

Ffs over dramatic or what?

"The only thing is if I evicted her, she would have no where to go; she has no family local apart from her mum and the whole reason she ended up here is cos her mum threw her out."

NOT. YOUR. PROBLEM.

You took her in as a friend, IIRC she was giving you just £25/week. Frankly, if I had nowhere else to go I would cherish the place I was living and treat it extremely well. She has gone the other way, and is constantly pushing at your boundaries as if searching for how far she can push you. She isn't your friend any longer OP, she really really isn't. And you have no responsibility for her. She had responsibility for herself, and she chose to throw it away with both hands .

And it looks like she can go back to her mother's anyway. If her mother asked her to leave because her wages affected her benefits - well, she's not working now, is she? But like I said - where she goes is not your problem, not your responsibility, and your ex-friend dosn't get to make them yours.

Stay strong. ((hug))

"Expecting lodgers to be celibate"

I doubt comprehensive reading was your strong point if that's the conclusion you've drawn from this thread.

Hope it goes as smoothly as possible tonight, OP.

Wishing you luck OP.

I doubt she'll go easily tonight, but tell her. And as soon as you get the chance, change the locks and keep her out

She has to go; the Council won't let her sleep rough

Er. Yes they will. Unless she has a child or you live in an area where there is abundant housing she will be sleeping rough

The council has lots of options for temporary accommodation. What do you think the homeless team at the council do?

Good luck - not nice but it seems you have no other choice.
You've now possibly paying more in her share of heating than you are (NOT!) getting in 'rent' / contribution to bills and I would hate someone bringing random men back too - that's simply dangerous.

If you have the money, I agree with the PP or said you should get her out now and pay for a few nights in a Travelodge for her
🤣🤣😂😂😂
She hasnt paid her pittance of rent since December she spent her money on herself, left her job and has been living rent free fir 2 months and has broken another house rule by bringing a complete stranger into ops house causing her alarm and you think op should pay for accommodation for her????

Wtaf?

You have been more than reasonable with your house rules.

Her problems are 100% caused by her.

She'll have to grow up and sort herself out.
There are resources available if she'll be homeless and some counselling would do her some good too.

Frownette Mon 24-Feb-20 02:14:15
She has to go; the Council won't let her sleep rough.

If you issue her notice she can take that to the Council and declare herself homeless.

What council would actually give a flying fuck? Certainly not London councils.
If she's not paying then she'll have to go but why a woman in her 20's can't have a boyfriend over to stay is beyond me. Surely if you pay rent you can have an adult sex life? Put a lock on your door if you're that worried but it seems Ott to me.

Double3xposure Mon 24-Feb-20 17:32:39
She has to go; the Council won't let her sleep rough

Er. Yes they will. Unless she has a child or you live in an area where there is abundant housing she will be sleeping rough

The council has lots of options for temporary accommodation. What do you think the homeless team at the council do?

They provide emergency accommodation for families with children and those with MH or severe PH issues. They wouldn't give a monkey's arse about a health woman in her 20's. If it were that easy then nobody would rent privately.

pay for a few nights in a Travelodge for her

yes, maybe buy her some extra fags too, to go with the ones she can clearly still afford for herself in spite of all that's happening!

I’m amazed you think it’s reasonable to expect a lodger to be celibate.

OP doesn't expect this @BennyBanana.
Lodger previously had a b/f who would stay over.
It didn't go well ... he was a twat who made OP uncomfortable & propositioned her.

I'm amazed you think it's reasonable for the lodger to pick up some random stranger off the internet, & bring him back home to stay the night on the same evening she first met him.

I'd have thrown the pair of them out for that alone.

Police won't help her if she has barely given any notice
Police also wont help her if she is thrown out of the house - what law would the OP be breaking woodchuck99 ? As I said up thread a few years ago we had to seek actual legal advice about a troublesome lodger, and much of what you have been saying simply isn't correct.