To finally evict my lodger, even though she will end up homelss

[Throwawaytheatre]

Hi all,

Posting more for advice, but a little bit of aibu too...

Currently lying awake with worry and anxiety despite having to be up for work in less than four hours.

I’ve posted about my lodger before. She’s an old friend of mine and things started well. However; the past few months have been hard work. The first issue I had with her was when she had her partner at the time stay over. I told her I didn’t want men I didn’t know in the house and her partner in particular made me very uncomfortable. She had him stay over anyway and then after I had a chat with her to let her know how this made me feel, she had him over till one in the morning about a month ago.

She has since broken up with him, and this evening went on a date with a man she met online. She does not know this man at all and he is in his 30s (we are both 20s). She then brought him home and woke me up by having very loud sex. I have been unable to fall back asleep as I have been quite anxious about having a strange man she’s known for a few hours in the house. He could be anyone for all I know.

Just before Xmas she quit her job as she couldn’t hack doing nights anymore. She is now on UC; and is behind on rent. Our agreement says rent is weekly but she pays monthly in arrears if you see what I mean? She missed the Jan payment and has told me she will be unable to pay any extra this month (so assuming she pays be next week as normal she will still be four weeks behind ifyswim?) - I will add she always seems to have money for tobacco but that’s by-the-by I suppose.

As she is not working she has the heating on all day and my last gas bill was over £100.

The main reason I want to end the agreement is because she obviously doesn’t respect that this is my home and property and doesn’t respect that I don’t want strange men in it! However, I wonder if I would be better off making the arrears the “official” reason?

Do I have to give her a months notice or just a week - the agreement is weekly rent (in writing) but as I say she pays monthly.

The only thing is if I evicted her, she would have no where to go; she has no family local apart from her mum and the whole reason she ended up here is cos her mum threw her out. But I can’t keep living like this!

Thanks.

Yanbu op! I'm so outraged at her attitude! I hope she doesn't react too badly this evening

If she's not paying then she'll have to go but why a woman in her 20's can't have a boyfriend over to stay is beyond me. Surely if you pay rent you can have an adult sex life?

Then book a room in a hotel, or get your own flat. If the home owner isn't comfortable with the person in question it's perfectly reasonably to refuse.

Also, if you RTFT you'll see that the OP quite clearly states that last night was a tinder date whom the lodger met for the first time last night. No prior agreement for an overnight stay.

If you can't handle lodger agreements then don't be a lodger. Simple.

I'm surprised at that - speaking to.people I know the Council work very hard to prevent homelessness. A neighbour was on the streets for one month (alcoholic, wife kicked him out) he has a nice flat now

Bin her
Your home
Your rules
She is taking the piss

Well they would oversee consider non-payment of rent has caused eviction but that doesn't mean they would consider it reasonable to throw them that night. actually, they would consider it reasonable to tell CF to leave immediately, given the OP's feeling threatened by an unwelcome person in her house throughout the night, the noise and total disregard for the householder. That he was still there this morning and the householder felt unable to tell him to leave HER home, instead going to work leaving a complete stranger there with full access to her possessions is definitely grounds for telling CF to leave right away and change the locks before OP goes to bed.

Admittedly I don't know about London

However that doesn't mean a judge would consider it reasonable for her to be thrown out that night.

What "judge"?
O what possible grounds could the lodger expect to get time in court about any trumped-up complaint she may have?
She would have no case, & therefore no judge.

CF has every right to a sex life. That's not the point. male guests are not allowed in the property under the terms agreed.

Toomuchtrouble4me Dont you read the thread ? This was not a boyfriend it was some random stranger that had only been met up with a few hours before .

If it was my daughter doing that in my house I would be fuming too .

She had explained the boundaries the lodger ignored them and could have been putting them both in danger

Out of order .

What "judge"?
Judge Rinder??😂😂
She could go on with her 'sad face'
and we could watch him rip her a new one 😄

This was from another thread. It's very clear.
It will clarify exactly what you should do in the future to maintain your lodgers status as a lodger, so they don't slip into tenancy status.

It was informative reading.

go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.lodgerlandlord.co.uk/2010/03/09/the-five-main-differences-between-a-lodger-and-a-tenant/

If she's more than 3x the rent in arrears then I think you can kick her out immediately (so she is 4 or more weeks behind so fulfills this criteria). Ask her for the £50 she owes on gas too.

As she's not working she can go back to her mum now, can't she?

A grade A piss taker and no mistake!!

but why a woman in her 20's can't have a boyfriend over to stay is beyond me. Surely if you pay rent you can have an adult sex life

Well get somewhere you can take complete strangers back to where you aren't potentially putting others in danger for a start.
And not Going against what you already agreed?
Find somewhere that you are actually paying proper rent for not free loading of a friend and actually costing her money?

I’m amazed you think it’s reasonable to expect a lodger to be celibate

Someone needs a new dictionary unless I missed a change in definition

good luck this evening OP

Get her out before she gets herself pregnant and uses that as a reason you can’t evict her

gets herself pregnant??
How does that work, then?

If she's not paying then she'll have to go but why a woman in her 20's can't have a boyfriend over to stay is beyond me.

Someone you met that day does not count as a “boyfriend”.

So what if they’d been chatting online before that? We’re talking online now, it still means fuck all.

Good luck OP. Remember to stick with the facts

@CallmeAngelina if she’s sleeping with men she’s only known for a few hours then I’m not sure I want to know her views on contraception - I didn’t mean in the immaculate sense

If would be absolutely awful to put up with this in your OWN HOME.

You've been a saint, OP.

Police also wont help her if she is thrown out of the house - what law would the OP be breaking woodchuck99

I haven't said she would be breaking the law to ask her to leave. She can't physically throw her out if she hasn't given any notice and the police won't help so how will she do it if the lodger refuses to leave?

As I said up thread a few years ago we had to seek actual legal advice about a troublesome lodger, and much of what you have been saying simply isn't correct.

What have I said that is incorrect? All I have said is that she still counts as a lodger even if her rented late and OP should still give her reasonable notice which would probably be a weeks notice.

She's cocked up quite a lot hasn't she, if she'd hung onto job til she got a new one and obeyed flat rules she wouldn't be in this situation

What's the phrase? No good deed ever goes unpunished.

The OP thought she was helping out a friend in need. Look how it's back-fired.