To finally evict my lodger, even though she will end up homelss

[Throwawaytheatre]

Hi all,

Posting more for advice, but a little bit of aibu too...

Currently lying awake with worry and anxiety despite having to be up for work in less than four hours.

I’ve posted about my lodger before. She’s an old friend of mine and things started well. However; the past few months have been hard work. The first issue I had with her was when she had her partner at the time stay over. I told her I didn’t want men I didn’t know in the house and her partner in particular made me very uncomfortable. She had him stay over anyway and then after I had a chat with her to let her know how this made me feel, she had him over till one in the morning about a month ago.

She has since broken up with him, and this evening went on a date with a man she met online. She does not know this man at all and he is in his 30s (we are both 20s). She then brought him home and woke me up by having very loud sex. I have been unable to fall back asleep as I have been quite anxious about having a strange man she’s known for a few hours in the house. He could be anyone for all I know.

Just before Xmas she quit her job as she couldn’t hack doing nights anymore. She is now on UC; and is behind on rent. Our agreement says rent is weekly but she pays monthly in arrears if you see what I mean? She missed the Jan payment and has told me she will be unable to pay any extra this month (so assuming she pays be next week as normal she will still be four weeks behind ifyswim?) - I will add she always seems to have money for tobacco but that’s by-the-by I suppose.

As she is not working she has the heating on all day and my last gas bill was over £100.

The main reason I want to end the agreement is because she obviously doesn’t respect that this is my home and property and doesn’t respect that I don’t want strange men in it! However, I wonder if I would be better off making the arrears the “official” reason?

Do I have to give her a months notice or just a week - the agreement is weekly rent (in writing) but as I say she pays monthly.

The only thing is if I evicted her, she would have no where to go; she has no family local apart from her mum and the whole reason she ended up here is cos her mum threw her out. But I can’t keep living like this!

Thanks.

How did it go?

How did it go OP?

I hope the OP isn't avoiding the thread because she doesn't want to admit she's still got her lodger....

@Throwawaytheatre

HELLO ???

You know - I'm sure if OP needed a physical presence to evict this waste-of-space there would be one or more of us who live near her and would stand shoulder-to-shoulder with her to prevent her being bullied or persuaded.

I do hope she comes back.

Why do people start threads and not see them though. A lot of people are actually interested in an outcome.

The lodger ones really spark a debate and ops rarely come back

I expect this is another made up thread just like several others this week. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why do people start threads and not see them though. A lot of people are actually interested in an outcome.

Because this is mildly entertaining for us, it is actually a real life problem for the OP. The friend doesn't sound like she gives a fuck, to be honest. And I think apart from lifting her up and physically carrying her off the property the OP has little chance of actually removing her from her house.

And she knows if she comes back here and says friend is in her bedroom all week, (with a fella) and refusing to leave, she'll have people calling her all sorts of names for being a mug.

None of us are affected in any way by this, so people can afford to throw insults and ffs at the OP not caring that they are making an upsetting situation worse. So rather than come back and face the wrath of unaffected faceless ransoms, the OP doesn't post.

That's why people don't often come back.

And she knows if she comes back here and says friend is in her bedroom all week, (with a fella) and refusing to leave, she'll have people calling her all sorts of names for being a mug.

Exactly!

It's easy for us lot to say "do this, do that" - OP is living this awful situation and must be past herself with misery and worry.

The only wayI can see her getting this leech out is waiting until she leaves the house (perhaps for one of her internet pick ups) and then changing the locks while she's out. It's a bloody awful situation and my heart aches for her.

This is why i cannot share my space with others...although i know lodgers help financially.