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AIBU?

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Original poster

To finally evict my lodger, even though she will end up homelss

612 replies

Throwawaytheatre · 24/02/2020 02:08

Hi all,

Posting more for advice, but a little bit of aibu too...

Currently lying awake with worry and anxiety despite having to be up for work in less than four hours.

I’ve posted about my lodger before. She’s an old friend of mine and things started well. However; the past few months have been hard work. The first issue I had with her was when she had her partner at the time stay over. I told her I didn’t want men I didn’t know in the house and her partner in particular made me very uncomfortable. She had him stay over anyway and then after I had a chat with her to let her know how this made me feel, she had him over till one in the morning about a month ago.

She has since broken up with him, and this evening went on a date with a man she met online. She does not know this man at all and he is in his 30s (we are both 20s). She then brought him home and woke me up by having very loud sex. I have been unable to fall back asleep as I have been quite anxious about having a strange man she’s known for a few hours in the house. He could be anyone for all I know.

Just before Xmas she quit her job as she couldn’t hack doing nights anymore. She is now on UC; and is behind on rent. Our agreement says rent is weekly but she pays monthly in arrears if you see what I mean? She missed the Jan payment and has told me she will be unable to pay any extra this month (so assuming she pays be next week as normal she will still be four weeks behind ifyswim?) - I will add she always seems to have money for tobacco but that’s by-the-by I suppose.

As she is not working she has the heating on all day and my last gas bill was over £100.

The main reason I want to end the agreement is because she obviously doesn’t respect that this is my home and property and doesn’t respect that I don’t want strange men in it! However, I wonder if I would be better off making the arrears the “official” reason?

Do I have to give her a months notice or just a week - the agreement is weekly rent (in writing) but as I say she pays monthly.

The only thing is if I evicted her, she would have no where to go; she has no family local apart from her mum and the whole reason she ended up here is cos her mum threw her out. But I can’t keep living like this!

Thanks.

OP posts:
fedup21 · 25/02/2020 21:05

No update?!

tensmum1964 · 25/02/2020 22:16

Very strange that the OP has seemingly disappeared.

JudyCoolibar · 25/02/2020 22:38

It may well be that there is nothing for OP to report. We know she was going to give the lodger notice. If the lodger has accepted it without objections, it's a bit of a non-event.

fedup21 · 25/02/2020 22:41

If the lodger has accepted it without objections, it's a bit of a non-event.

But that would be a happy and satisfying conclusion to a thread that lots of people have bothered to reply to. It’s always good for an OP to update a thread.

StuckBetweenDarknessAndLight · 25/02/2020 22:51

I saw this thread has found it's way onto Entertainment Daily - I guess it's hit the press and maybe OP is laying low.

PotteryLady · 25/02/2020 22:51

Let's hope op is ok 👌🏻

BoomBoomsCousin · 26/02/2020 04:30

@Patchworkpatty - what authority do you have to remove them if they don’t cause a breach of the peace?

Patchworkpatty · 26/02/2020 07:51

If there were no breach of the peace then I doubt we would arrest anyone. Contrary to popular belief , the police don't spend their time arresting people ! We will look for a peaceful way to resolve a dispute. An arrest would only happen if one or the other party kicked off.

Establishing the facts . Being assured that the person concerned is definitely a lodger and not a tenant or someone with any ownership interests in the property. Being assured that this is the landlord/lady normal place of residence and that the person being asked to leave, has shared the common rooms of the house with the landlord. (In other words being assured that the complainant is not attempting to make the police party to an illegal eviction. )

In reality, when attending this type of dispute, just attending the property is sufficient to persuade an unwanted lodger to leave by speaking to them and explaining their rights (or lack of in the case of a lodger.

The most common way to remove someone from your property , who has no right to be there, - is to serve reasonable notice, and if they refuse or make no moves to leave - then on the day after the notice expires, change the locks as soon as they leave the house and if they kick off, call the police . Do not get into any altercation with them. You are allowed to defend yourself with reasonable force but this can and often does go horribly wrong and you could well end up with a charge of assault. Close the door. Wait for the police. Only allow them back in with the police to supervise them removing belongings.

BoomBoomsCousin · 26/02/2020 07:58

Right. So while it’s your job to prevent a breach of the peace, it’s not actually your job to turn up at the OP’s house and kick her lodger out if she refuses to leave, is it?

Nanny0gg · 26/02/2020 08:06

@icelollycraving

I strongly suspect you are right

GabsAlot · 26/02/2020 20:18

If she kicks off call the police simple-as patty said they would turn up and ask them to leave reasonably and whose going to kick off at the police

Mamawingingit1234 · 26/02/2020 23:52

How did it go OP

Tvquizhelp · 27/02/2020 08:09

So....

Penners99 · 27/02/2020 08:19

OP is a no show. My worries is that lodger has freaked out on OP and a terrible crime has been committed. Lodger needs to get rid of evidence, what's the best (or worse) method?

messolini9 · 27/02/2020 08:44

Lodger has pleased for one last chance ... an extension ... she will get the money together soon ... it's not her fault she brought a strange bloke back to shag ... OP gets all the luck, it's not fair ... if only she had a decent job & a house ... woe is her etc etc

messolini9 · 27/02/2020 08:44

PLEADED not pleased

Redlocks28 · 27/02/2020 08:46

Where are you, @Throwawaytheatre?

Is this really just a performance of throwaway theatre?

Gooseygoosey12345 · 27/02/2020 09:27

Would love to know if CF has left yet!

GoosetheCat · 27/02/2020 09:40

Oh God, is this going to be another Barbour (did I spell that right?) Jacket thread or something? 😂

boopboo · 27/02/2020 09:41

I’d love to know if she got rid of her!

forrestgreen · 27/02/2020 10:07

There's been quite a few lodger threads where op doesn't return after copious amounts of help.

pooopypants · 27/02/2020 10:33

Maybe the lodger is currently laying a new patio and the OP isn't coming back.... Hmm

Penners99 · 27/02/2020 10:40

Or the lodger has a burger van and is serving soylent green burgers!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/02/2020 13:17

More probably their unlicensed equivalent, "Soylent Red" burgers Penners

However I do think that poor OP has failed in her attempt to get rid of this human carbuncle and feels embarrassed coming back.

mencken · 28/02/2020 10:35

there are some well-read people on here!!