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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you if you have a real life crush on anyone?

999 replies

Rainbowb · 23/02/2020 21:25

And would you do anything if you could completely get away with it?! Mine is my daughter’s swimming teacher, he has the sexiest smile and is so good with the kids. Totally gives me the flutters but I’m guessing he’s not into overweight bespectacled women in their forties! Grin

OP posts:
SuckingDieselFella · 26/02/2020 16:57

@Bigblue20
"Unneutered males are known as Toms"

Us women would achieve a lot more if the Toms WERE neutered.

@HundredMilesAnHour Fab! He sounds like my friend who takes months to speak to a woman. And then he moans about not having a partner. Confused

My class is now happening tomorrow so I have another 24 hours to think of a Tom-avoidance strategy. The chemistry thing sounds right. I was very nice to my Tom because he let me switch from another class to his. I thanked him profusely, e-mailed after the first class to say it was really good and I say thanks at the end of a class. And before the blushing started, I engaged him in lots of discussion. The surly youngsters don't do any of that. Maybe he got the wrong end of the stick?

Bigblue20 · 26/02/2020 17:39

@Sucking

'Us women would achieve a lot more if the Toms WERE neutered.'

Oh yes. bet the mind fog, nerves and hot flushes would disappear in a second Grin

It's the men o(n) pause

Soapytoad · 26/02/2020 17:51

It’s me who needs neutered not Tom.

Bigblue20 · 26/02/2020 18:21

@SuckingDieselFella

Are the young ones 'woke'? Cos they could make you look really good ...

LameSword · 26/02/2020 20:07

So so many. Someone can hold the door open for me and I've fallen in love with them and planning our lives together.

I'm extremely single.

SuckingDieselFella · 26/02/2020 20:58

@Bigblue20 Grin

How did you know?

Soapytoad · 26/02/2020 23:04

I had my hour with Tom today. My ovaries are now pulsating like giant neon radioactive watermelons. Fucking hell he’s so good at teaching me! Totally understands how my brain works and I also let him push me.

I wish I could eat him and digest his utter brilliance!!!

wizzywig · 26/02/2020 23:14

Because of this thread i phoned my Tom. Bastard, i could hear him typing as i was talking! How can i make him fall for my charms? I need a spell

Gogolego · 26/02/2020 23:16

I made a fool of myself in front of my crush today. 🙈🙈🙈🙈

SuckingDieselFella · 26/02/2020 23:19

You shagged him in the queue for the canteen?

Shodan · 26/02/2020 23:31

I had a crush on someone.

First time I saw him, 15 years ago, I think I may have drooled a little bit Blush. But I was married, so obviously wasn't going there. I saw him regularly, every week, and had very erotic thoughts about him. Tall, dark, handsome, funny, sexy... Oof.

Anyhoo. 11 years on- my marriage broke down (not related to Mr Crush). One night, after much drink was taken by both of us, we did the dirty. And have been together ever since (just over three years now).

Turns out he had a crush on me too Grin. But he was amazed when I admitted my crush on him- he said I played it really cool (thank god , because I worried a good few times that I'd shown my hand, as it were).

The reality is better than the dream, I have to say. Sure he can be annoying at times, and he can belch for England, but the sex...Omg Grin

HopefullyAnonymous · 26/02/2020 23:32

I have a workplace crush. He’s older, smart, attractive, well dressed, funny. We have interesting conversations about music and politics and life generally. I liked him for ages, always wondered if he felt the same. Then we dealt with a particularly difficult job at work where I was almost hurt and he defended me in a way that I’d never seen him do with anyone else. It’s hard to explain!

Anyway the next works night out we had, we couldn’t keep away from each other and ended up in his hotel room having the most amazing sex. And it’s now sort of our thing - we have a works night out every few months and always end up together. The chemistry is unreal.

I don’t want a relationship with him, the age difference means that we are just at completely different stages in our life and I don’t think we’d be all that compatible. So we never discuss it at work or speak outside of work, which means the tension sort of builds and when we are alone together it’s mind-blowing. It will have to come to an end at some point but until then he’s the focus of a fair few fantasies!

Guiltybutstuck · 27/02/2020 07:05

Mines abit rubbish. Charlie Hunnam. I don't have any crushes away from my oh apart from we had a nice looking builder in the summer. It can be a famous person right hahaha. I think I've crushed on him for 10 years. I am a sucker for abit of stubble, dirty blonde hair, abit of a tan and blue eyes. (Paul walker) when he was alive was also one of those perfection men to me hahaha.

SuckingDieselFella · 27/02/2020 18:03

Hooray, I've been cured.

My Tom arrived today wearing a jumper his mum knitted and socks in the pattern of a chessboard. Lost all his sex appeal instantly.

Asimovsfutureishere2020 · 27/02/2020 18:15

I bet he dressed up on purpose to impress you Grin

SuckingDieselFella · 27/02/2020 18:24

He probably did!

It was a geek's idea of a sexy outfit.

I feel a bit sorry for him now. If only he'd borrowed the other Tom's black t shirt and revealed some sexy arms, we might have had a future.

RubyTuesdayBlues1 · 27/02/2020 18:33

I used to have a train commuter crush, I would never have acted on it but would always casually look around to see if he was on the train and felt happy when he was. I felt quite sad when I changed jobs knowing I probably wouldn't see him again. I like to think it was mutual but I probably just made him feel self-conscious.

Asimovsfutureishere2020 · 27/02/2020 18:43

@Ruby

Smile

I wonder. Maybe it put a smile on his face and brightened his day to know someone found him attractive. It might have given him the courage/confidence to do something he needed to do.

Zisforstripyoss · 27/02/2020 18:47

My DC's PE teacher is pretty hot. They do after school sports clubs so I get my fix twice a week.

SuckingDieselFella · 27/02/2020 18:51

There is still hope for my Tom if he goes clothes shopping but I know that will never happen. In my department they wear clothes with holes in because new clothes are bourgeois.

Tom, if you're reading this, get some nice cotton shirts in neutral colours and jeans that don't have the outline of your phone worn into the front pocket. Burn the patterned socks. If you made a bit of an effort you'd be fighting them off.

Asimovsfutureishere2020 · 27/02/2020 18:51

I attended an uber-geeky lecture a few weeks ago at a London university. I think I was only one of two women there. About 200 pizzas and bottles of beer for refreshments.

I saw a spare seat with a guy sitting at the table with his back to everyone. I sat at the table and he thought I had gon there to talk to him so turned around. I was late for the talk and as I introduced myself I though he looks as though he was one of the speakers. We got talking and I talked vaguely about computer stuff without trying to sound out of my depth. He was lovely and the conversation settled very easily into something very relaxed. It was so comfortable and without any need to impress, that quiet confidence. He loked shattered after a long day, tie off, etc and quite scruffy. I mentioned that I had come to hear one of the speakers and he introduced me. this guy was all talk and teh other guy quietly stood there. I tried to bring hime into the conversation but he wasn't really interested and discreetly left.

He had told me vaguely what dept he was in. I looked him up on Liknedin. He is a Phd in that field and very senior (don't want to give more away).

I'm tempted to send him a Linkedin message...

Asimovsfutureishere2020 · 27/02/2020 18:52

Gosh - sorry for typos, hope it's legible.

Asimovsfutureishere2020 · 27/02/2020 18:54

@SuckingDieselFella

But somewhere there is a girl capable of decoding the chessboard socks (if he is a true geek they probably do mean something - they're a strange bunch)

He is sending out his love to the universe waiting for the girl who responds to those socks.

Or something

DameHannahRelf · 27/02/2020 19:14

I had a crush turn into a fling. A guy I met through work. I was single and really fancied him, and thought he might like me back (he once dropped and smashed a glass he was holding, when I walked past him unexpectedly, would find me for a chat etc). He had a serious dp (and dc) though, so it was an entertaining daydream, but not something I'd ever have acted on.

I barely saw him for ages, and had nearly convinced myself that there was no way he ever really liked me that way anyway (which kind of spoiled the daydream). A few months later I got a text from him out of the blue, and he mentioned he was single (which I made sure was true), and we met up a few times. Nothing serious, but defo an ego boost (for both of us, I think we were both still on the rebound, me for longer than him).

DameHannahRelf · 27/02/2020 19:34

There's a much older (30+ year) guy at work I totally would, but he could be gay, and either way has zero interest anyway, as far as I can tell. He's intellegent, logical, competent, loyal, cultured, and a nerd to boot, the total opposite of "lads" my age, and is like the grown up, finally left their mums attic, version of the geeky guys my age, and I think that's the appeal. My last serious ex was/is a total manchild, I'm done with immaturity, it's a total turn off.

The crush I acted on turned out to be gorgeous, but a bit shallow, only liked sports etc, and that's when I found myself starting to daydream about this other bloke instead. Deep conversations in the moonlight, that lead to passionate snogging...

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