To ask you if you have a real life crush on anyone?

[Rainbowb]

And would you do anything if you could completely get away with it?! Mine is my daughter’s swimming teacher, he has the sexiest smile and is so good with the kids. Totally gives me the flutters but I’m guessing he’s not into overweight bespectacled women in their forties!

I love the way you make sure your spelling is correct when discussing blow jobs!

Intelligence...YES! Intelligence is the biggest turn on. My Tom is extremely intelligent. Possibly the most clever person I know!

His eyes are so dark brown, that it looks like he’s wearing eyeliner.

However I KNOW he probably pisses his wife off, he leaves dirty pants on the floor, farts, and does all kinds of irritating stuff. She probably even has her own Tom! I pay him by the hour to be nice to me, but that one hour a week when it’s just us and he’s making me do and understand stuff I never thought I could, doing something I love is just the best! He could probably be 20 stone and bald, and I’d still feel this level of awe.

Competence. In a frustrating, confusing world. That’s their secret power.

Yes, competence and intelligence do it for me.

I have a two hour class with Tom later. It isn't a class where I can hide behind a laptop as we're meant to discuss stuff. There are only five of us so any reactions on my part must be pretty obvious.

The thing is, since my last class I've started having THOUGHTS about Tom. I keep my eyes very firmly on the whiteboard but I'm sure he knows what I'm up to. Any suggestions as to how I can hide it?

I had similar problems with my Tom in meetings. Normally, I could just stare intently at the projected screen so I didn't have to look at him. This tactic served me well on numerous occasions to be fair.
However, every so often Tom.would ask for my opinion or if I had any questions.
I had to make sure the words that came out of my mouth were related to the project and issues about it and not "do you have any kinks I should know about?"
A two hour session with your Tom sounds torture if I'm honest. Luckily I only ever had to deal with mine for an hour at a time. Thanks the stars for a busy diary at work!

It must be serendipity that my crush has turned out to be a big do-nothingy wuss and the official MN name for a crush is now the same as my little brother's! Yuk and Yuk! You've saved me from dipping back into him again. Thank you

One of the dads from DC1’s school
He’s married.
I’m married.
I’d never act on it.
He’s just veeeeerrryy very nice to look at

How do you know if it is mutual?

*school parent. I love welcoming this particular family into school on a morning. Just discovered he is single.

I think a (married) colleague has one on me. He's 20 years older than me, and sends me lots of mixed signals. He seems to go through phases of being very professional and standoffish, but then texting me a lot.

I have a crush on a woman at work (I’m male) her husband works here as well so I could never do anything. I used to see her every morning before I started work but I don’t now. The thoughts I’ve had, and as I wrote this she walked into my office!

What’s the name for a female Tom? Is it still Tom?

stinky I think if it’s mutual your knickers fall off and you find yourself naked underneath them. So I’ve been told!

Good question, I’m not telling you her name though in case she’s on here!

I did read the entire thread to see if there was a mention of a bald, overweight 49 year old but there wasn’t

@SuckingDieselFella

But this is all part of their plan, Sucking. Its years of revenge for all the women that flirted with the handsome men in the past. They are trying to distract us from the chaos they caused in the first place!!! Then they step in looking all calm and competent so we get bamboozled and resort to deferring to their expertise and putting them on a pedestal. The inbalance in power then means we are vulnerable to their emotional whims and moods and to satisfy our egos we tell ourselves we are in control and it is coming from us but its not, it's coming from them. Them, I tell you.

I'm right, aren't I ? @Nahyouralright You are all in on it - you are clearly a ringer trying to throw us off guard (just entered the post as we started to suss out the game plan, eh?)

(I may be overthinking this)

I am definitely no “Tom” and I can’t imagine I’m anyone’s crush.

yes, and why on the day I decided to pull the cooker out and clean years of grease off that ended up in my hair, on my face , down my front whilst wearing very fetching marigolds and clothes that looked like the bin rejected them did the most gorgeous man deliver a parcel that I needed to lift and sign for? And did he have to be so helpful in offering to bring it in and just generally look so kind and handsome? No. He didn't. Distraction tactics.

And they only answer questions they know the answer too! Bear with me - if you ask them a perfectly logical internet related question, they give you that look that says 'Oh bless' she doesn't understand and start off on the Early Years of all explanations. Eventually, you give up and word the question in a way that they understand (and Google has given them the answer) and they look at you all smiles as though you have finally learnt the 'right way to think' - ie the only way they can solve a problem.

Ok, thanks for letting me get that out of my system

I have a huge crush on a man in my gym. He's not called Tom nor is he a teacher (sorry folks!)

I remember the first time I saw him about a year and I thought he was SO beautiful, Beautiful rather than handsome. He has amazing bone structure and the most gorgeous blue eyes. He's very shy/reserved and doesn't really speak to anyone at the gym. He arrives, does his thing, leaves. But I found out from one of the personal trainers at the gym that my crush is single and lives alone and doesn't appear to be in a relationship with anyone. So I tried making an effort to talk to him.

It took a few months but we eventually started talking (he still doesn't talk to anyone else at the gym). Then he started waiting for me to be ready to leave so we could walk out together and have a chat outside the gym (he's very private and used to clam up completely if anyone else is around).. This kept on for a few weeks and I get fed up of standing outside on the street in sweaty gym kit, in the dark and feeling cold. So I asked him out for a coffee. He said yes. We had coffee for 2 hours.

And now we're dating. We have our 4th date this weekend. I feel like I'm punching above my weight as he's so lovely - and 10 years younger than me - but spending time with him makes me really happy. First time in my life that I've ever done something about a crush. In fact, the first time I've ever asked a man out. It's working so far.

@Hundred

Dating dating? Or just hanging out together?

@Soapytoad

According to Quora - ' When she is pregnant or nursing kittens, a female cat is referred to as a Queen otherwise she is a molly. A purebred female is referred to as a Dam. Unneutered males are known as Toms or Tomcats and neutered males are gibs. A group of kittens is a kindle of kittens. A group of cats is sometimes referred to as a clowder.'

So, I say a crush on a woman should be called a 'Molly'

Ha!

@Bigblue20 Dating dating. We hang out together too and even do some gym classes together but yep, we go on proper dates. It's rather lovely.

Having said that can you feel so strongly for someone if they don’t feel the same, how is that possible.. surely it’s the chemistry that we pick up on and that can’t possibly be a one sided thing?!

That's what I think about mine....surely it can't be completely one sided as I think I'm picking up on something between us. Both very much married though and it could never ever be.

Oh that’s interesting about the chemistry! It’s probably true in some respects. Like I say there’s no way Tom would have the hots for me, but we do have a great Student/tutor rapport and so I guess that’s what it is! Just slightly misplaced on my part when I get to give him a jolly good going over when he’s not looking.

Bigblue that’s a good answer! I wonder if I’ve ever been Molly?

@HundredMilesAnHour

sounds it

Good luck you both x