To ask you if you have a real life crush on anyone?

[Rainbowb]

And would you do anything if you could completely get away with it?! Mine is my daughter’s swimming teacher, he has the sexiest smile and is so good with the kids. Totally gives me the flutters but I’m guessing he’s not into overweight bespectacled women in their forties!

Gentle sexy way!!! ffs I'm overwhelmed thinking about how i will miss him.

yes,, @peaceanddove - I think we can accommodate you. Admin duties one week in four. Suspect there will need to be a rota as you won't be alone.

Assessment, taking details (inside leg measurement, forearm width when flexed,etc) all key skills at Casa Crush HQ

Will also need logistics staff, catering (these boys need fuel), uniforms, I mean, clothing suppliers, entertainment, rehearsal tasks and room for improvement sessions.

perhaps we should just put them in a Big Brother house and allow voting rights to all women over 18 plus gay men?

So much work to be done. I need to write a manual.

inside leg measurements

For the cargo pants, Sucking. My contestants will look smart and well tailored.

#scrubsupwellTom

changemynamechangemynamewhen Ooh. Did his name begin with 'R', by any chance?

Allaboard I'm afraid I don't agree that cargo pants are well tailored. Attractive and rugged, certainly, provided the wearer has a belt (I see too many roadies arse cracks at work, just pull them up ffs).

Ok, belt mandatory. Extra points if they can turn it into an emergency sling/fan belt.

Double extra points Ifit means their trousers fall down in the process.

Steady on!

The Toms are much more attractive when they are demonstrating quiet confidence and expertise. Think James May's The Reassembler not a 70s soft por n film.

Who am I kidding?

Yes, Sucking. Quite right. Must keep focused on task not taskee.

Yes! Cop Tom has emailed! Let me try and leave it an hour before i respond

Fab! I'd leave it 24 hours. Don't play games but don't let him think you've got your phone in your hand day and night in case he messages.

He's going to be busy now so you might not get a reply immediately.

Tell him that he and his colleagues will be doing such an important job, thin blue line, the nation salutes you, etc. He'll love it.

Oh, thicker than that.

I'd go for the 'I remember a book I read that left me feeling really, I don't know, worried and vulnerable over something like this. What are we supposed to do?

If he puts his arm around you reassuringly, you're home. If he reels off a list of targets and then starts on about the overtime allowance, you may have your work cut out.

Disclaimer: am permanently single so please take my advice at your own risk.

Not very feminist but great thinking all the same.

My Tom will be skyping me tomorrow. Must concentrate on intelligent questions to ask rather than what to wear.

I thought the feminist only came out once married?!!!

No the feminist is in most women.

Something else we must keep from the Toms.

The feminist is in every woman - she just has a selective audience

Best to exclude your Tom from that audience - at least to start with.

Remember how skittish they are.

Exactly, no quick moves or Dworkin posters on the wall. Don't want to frighten them at the first hurdle.

(hastily removes Dworkin posters from wall before Tom skypes tomorrow)

Schools closing Friday! Potentially #16weekswithouttom

#PostmanTom? Or #BinManTom?

#keyworkerTom

Hero of the hour

Now I'm picturing women in gauzy outfits going round hospitals asking 'Are you the key master?'

It's better than "Are you competent Tom with the taut arse or teacher Tom with the taught arse?"

Ha ha

I really want to snigger at 'taught arse Tom the teacher'