To ask you if you have a real life crush on anyone?

[Rainbowb]

And would you do anything if you could completely get away with it?! Mine is my daughter’s swimming teacher, he has the sexiest smile and is so good with the kids. Totally gives me the flutters but I’m guessing he’s not into overweight bespectacled women in their forties!

Orange, if you're the boss then a certain type of man will have a twinkle for you. Your Tom might have a game plan.

Put him on a performance management plan and see if he's still twinkling.

Ha, I’m not his boss, thankfully.
But I am influential and it’s certainly crossed my mind he might be strategically stroking my ego.

Alternatively given the industry (male dominated) he is enjoying meeting someone of the opposite sex, and I am enjoying meeting someone interesting!

I shall stop being so grumpy with the rest of them and flirt a little more in general - disguise it!

@OrangeSunset

Just remember, no extra bonus for him

Yes, I've also wondered how do you know that your crush fancies you back?

Is it a gut feeling?

I have also imagined that I've seen the "face lights up" thing. But I could be totally wrong. My facial expressions are so locked down that the poor soul must think I want to kill him.

Unlike most here I am single and I think my Tom is too. But nothing is going to happen as long as he's my tutor. It's a harmless fantasy at the end of the day and it probably won't amount to anything more.

@suckingdiesalfella: " My facial expressions are so locked down that the poor soul must think I want to kill him." Ha ha!

Yes I try not to smile too much .

Well it's funny anyway ( I guess. Sort of) and perhaps a relief that we can write this stuff down here .

@LittleMissWeary body language etc , signals, that certain vibe? Like you can just feel the tension I suppose or if they seem to notice things about you or do stuff to watch out for you.

Doesn’t everything feel ‘heightened’ and they also respond to that with a sense of awareness?

Yes. For years and. No I wouldn't. To add to the mix my DD was in love with her DD for a couple of years too.

DDs headteacher, he always ignores me! Unless DP around, then he talks to us both. He is older and not attractive in the usual way.

Re what Earl said - it can be super awkward when others around as I’m so self conscious, but could spend all day if just the two of us...

About reading the signs - I’ve no idea, terrible at reading people and any likely ‘signs’ are likely wishful thinking on my part.
That said, objectively he’s enjoying connecting but I think it’s more about a new person than any attraction.

Must stop fanning the flames.

This thread is fanning the flames! But comforting to know I’m not the only one heading to work this morning with an extra frisson!

Oh @OrangeSunset 😂! I don't think there is anything to be done tbh. Best peice of advice a friend gave me was there is nothing you can do.

@Asimovsfutureishere2020 yes heightened that's the problem.

Well I am going to resolve AGAIN to try and avoid.

That hasn't worked so well though previously, he just always seems to be there or near when there is even a chance of him being around.

@morriseysquif

He ignores you?

Read the rest of this thread. That may mean the opposite of what you think it means. Many of us are trying desperately hard to ignore our crushes in a work situation.

A small very unlikely crush on someone in another office who is a regular collaborator. I thankfully don't think it's reciprocated and I'm sure mine will die down again soon. We're a good work team and I'd rather not bugger that tbh. He makes me laugh though!

I've slept with another now former colleague, and whilst we've not told anyone people tell us we'd make a great couple, which always amuses me!

Yes. Someone in a senior position in my office. I pretended my computer wasn't working properly as an excuse to move desks to get a better view of them. I'm dying to find out if they're single and if they ever speak to me I go red and clam up. I don't think they've noticed though

Oooh i have a Tom at work (not a teacher)
Younger than me, funny, clever, really sweet guy. Cheeky smile.
I have had some rather racy dreams!
Happy to pass some time daydreaming... we do get on really well as work colleagues, have a laugh, similar sense of humour.
He is single, I am married... so it will never be more than the odd work flirt

what is it with all these Toms!!!

"I pretended my computer wasn't working properly as an excuse to move desks to get a better view of them."

@Marilynmansonsothereye we have much to learn from you.

Oh I totally forgot to mention something. My Tom (swimming chap) must’ve accidentally liked a Facebook photo of mine .....from 3 years ago! I haven’t reshared it more recently. We are Facebook friends, have been for a year or so, but come on, 3 years?!

So if you’re going to snoop make sure you cover your tracks! I honestly don’t think he intended to like this photo, it’s random.

Well, any updates? Still haven't seen #backupcrush who is definitely not avoiding me...

Yes. I also started a thread about them on the relationships board. I really really really fancied him but I mostly wanted to rip his clothes off .
I did message him eventually and I have no idea what the fuck happened. We talked for a bit and then he just went cold so I sent a boring no response needed message and nothing. It was weird. He went from sending long interested replies (albeit it took him years to respond) and watching all my Instagram stories to nothing. I mean I’m over it and now the goggles are off I can recognise that he was translucently pale with dodgy teeth and a questionable dress sense and not the sex god I imagined but still! What a head fuck.
I feel better after releasing that!

Colleague reckons ‘my Tom’ is the culprit of slightly gross office toilet habits, so that’s helping somewhat in the myth-busting stakes. Although, he is male....

Colleague fancies Tom and is trying to put you off.

Quite possibly! She has a fair case I’d say in the loo stakes, she’s very observant about office hygiene even before the current situation.