AIBU to think some of you are awful?

[KMW79]

I have been mainly just reading (over the past 6 months) the popular threads on the ‘mumsnet daily’ via email inbox.

Honestly I have been so shocked by the influx of negative, unhelpful and destructive responses that people receive. Even when people don’t agree with an OPs opinion or a respondents reply or even whom the OP was posting about, so many are seemingly so keen to attack in such a virile nature! Name calling, aggressive, viscous responses when someone asked for a basic opinion.

Elaborating on why someone is or isn’t being unreasonable doesn’t require an attack on either side of the viewpoint. It blows my mind how nasty people can be, and I don’t believe that was what this forum was created for!

Could this forum maybe return to what it was intended for?

I agree, the honesty on here is great. But there are times where it's obvious a poster has been cruel rather than honest and has done so for a reaction.

I think with the way things are these days, we all need to take more responsibility for the way we speak to others. Whether it's an anonymous forum or not. There's a massive difference between sharing your opinion and being nasty.

Surely people must be able to see the difference between being frank and honest, and being bitchy?

For eg:

Op says
“I just shouted at dh because I thought he ate the last chocolate bar, then I found it down the back of the sofa. AIBU to not bother apologising?”

Frank and honest:
Op, you were totally out of order. You owe him an apology, and you need to think about how you treat people.

Bitchy:
You sound like a cunt. I hope your chocolate gives you the shits.

Utterly... I'm afraid some don't see the difference, nor realise they can be honest without being nasty.

I think people end up in some sort of competition as to who can say the most edgey, out there, blunt, funny, thing. Then it turns into just being plain horrible because people forget they are talking to a real person behind the screen.

I'm on a post right now about baby headbands.... Not even in AIBU (so the nastiness isn't just restricted to here) and there's a response saying "they look chavvy as fuck" rather than saying in a nice dignified way that they don't like the look of them, they have chose to insult them by implying they are lower class... Good example of using nastiness to put across an opinion but I'm sure they will say if challenged "what? I'm just being honest, we're all entitled to an opinion". That's the problem sometimes... Honesty jaded with an insult.

I'm on a post right now about baby headbands.... Not even in AIBU (so the nastiness isn't just restricted to here) and there's a response saying "they look chavvy as fuck"

They do though

I'm not a fan but I wouldn't say that...

This is real life sadly .There are many (and I would say the majority in honesty) who are kind ,supportive and helpful,hope I fit into this category!) Wherever you are and whatever you post about ,some people wont agree and will let their feelings be known in no uncertain terms ! This is the case anywhere ,but especially online as we have the luxury of being able to speak our mind ,and not be recognised in the street /by people we dont really get on with etc. This site I have only been on for a year or two (new to SM generally ) .But it is tame compared to many others and is well policed by Mumsnet HQ as well . It is an open discussion though and if everyone agreed with each other ,would be nothing to discuss! The support here is generally good and given froma good place .If you are not happy here then why stay?!

It's just life that not everyone is nice and kind to others, sadly. I personally get a bad taste in my mouth from aggression, confrontations, swearing and name-calling. In the short and sporadic time I have been on this site, I've experienced all of the mentioned, haha But honestly, it's the internet...it's hard to take people's online behaviour seriously or to heart when they are hiding their identity behind a screen. Out of curiosity, I do wonder if they are just as vile in person as they are online, though. For their surroundings' sake, I hope not

I'm on a post right now about baby headbands.... Not even in AIBU (so the nastiness isn't just restricted to here) and there's a response saying "they look chavvy as fuck"

They do though

That's your personal opinion, though, not a universal nature law I think baby headbands are super cute and adorable. If I ever have a baby, and it's a girl, I'd totally put them on her. I also love baby turbans

there's a response saying "they look chavvy as fuck"

They do though

That's your personal opinion, though, not a universal nature law

I don't think anyone who says 'baby headbands look chavvy as fuck' is under any illusion that they speak for everyone.

When people ask for opinions, they should expect to receive opinions. That's what posters on MN are providing. Posters shouldn't have to preface everything with disclaimers - it's obvious that it's just that poster's opinion.

In fairness, it's an extremely widespread opinion, on Mn and elsewhere. (And the OP on the headband thread also had lots of posters saying that they saw no issue with headbands being used for a purpose, as the OP's was, as her baby had a lot of unruly hair.)

YABU for saying 'some of you are awful'.

I guarantee that if you post on AIBU regularly someone will see you as awful at some point.

So YABU be so holier than thou and annoying.

This thread isn’t exactly adding joy and positivity to the boards either. Just admit you enjoy moaning and whinging like the rest of us.

The THINK thing is good....

Back to the headband post... Calling something chavvy is just unnecessary, whether you agree or not.

Calling something chavvy is just unnecessary

Well, yes, but so is posting to ask some anonymous strangers if it's OK to use a headband on her hairy baby -- I mean, Mn as a whole is not strictly 'necessary'.

I'll refer again to my post above...

What, the one with the twee graphic?

I'll refer again to my post above...

I mean, Mn as a whole is not strictly 'necessary'

Well, quite. I've lost count of the number of times I've gone to post a comment (often a helpful one) and then deemed it unnecessary as I don't want the hassle of it appearing in my threads while it rumbles on for days about nothing (yes, I know I can hide them).

And we have to make sure every post is inspiring too? God, the pressure!

Me, too, @LonginesPrime. I imagine the headband thread in a week still creaking on, and I think ‘No, refrain.’

2020, your bot is showing.

I agree that some of the comments go too far. There was a horrible comment in response to advice about sexual abuse yesterday.

Sometimes I'm having a bad day and I get wound up by people wanting attention and sympathy a massive drama over something so small and insignificant like their OH didn't get them a good enough birthday present, or they can only afford 2 holidays this year instead of 3 - when I'm suffering actual, real life-threatening problems and I snap and my response is probably less than sympathetic. It's not my best trait.

Why thank you