AIBU to think some of you are awful?

[KMW79]

I have been mainly just reading (over the past 6 months) the popular threads on the ‘mumsnet daily’ via email inbox.

Honestly I have been so shocked by the influx of negative, unhelpful and destructive responses that people receive. Even when people don’t agree with an OPs opinion or a respondents reply or even whom the OP was posting about, so many are seemingly so keen to attack in such a virile nature! Name calling, aggressive, viscous responses when someone asked for a basic opinion.

Elaborating on why someone is or isn’t being unreasonable doesn’t require an attack on either side of the viewpoint. It blows my mind how nasty people can be, and I don’t believe that was what this forum was created for!

Could this forum maybe return to what it was intended for?

Every thread has arseholes on it. Kinda like life, there's always rude fuckers about

StrayCat

Yes I agree... It's nice to see an honest sensible post on this.

I saw that thread and whilst I think a poster may of had good intentions, the way the post came across was awful so took away any decent advice that was in it. People just don't seem to think before they post sometimes... I've been sharp in the past on a bad day on posts that seem a bit but I always try to steer away from negative language that could be deemed as nasty. Some seem to lack that train of thought or are just unpleasant anyway. I tend to ignore these people

Opinions are like arseholes though. Everybody’s got one, but I really don’t want yours shoved in my face.

that “yours” was very general by the way, not directed at anyone in this thread!

I'm on a post right now about baby headbands.... Not even in AIBU (so the nastiness isn't just restricted to here) and there's a response saying "they look chavvy as fuck" rather than saying in a nice dignified way that they don't like the look of them, they have chose to insult them by implying they are lower class

But why should we have to reply in a 'nice dignified way'? That is a genuine question. Women are constantly told that we have to be nice, but why should we?

And the comment about baby headbands was someone else's opinion. Just because you don't like it doesn't make it either nasty or an insult. It's what the other poster thinks!

I really don't like it when people are nasty, seemingly for the sake of it - sometimes I think people feel they have to live up to the 'nest of vipers' reputation - but I absolutely support everyone's right to state their views as boldly and as directly as they wish to.

so many are seemingly so keen to attack in such a virile nature!

Most apposite typo of the year award goes to...

Here's my response to @2020vision10 's graphic

F: Is the FONT horrible?
U: is it USELESS?
C: is it CONDESCENDING?
K: is it KNOBBISH?

Yes, it is.

"why should we reply in a nicer dignified way"

Ummm just so we are not being nasty maybe? Can't believe we have to justify actually being decent or kind these days. And can't see on here where it says we expect just women to be kind.

And chavvy is insulting... Since when was it a compliment? Yes it is an opinion, one that involves an insult which was unnecessary.

Thanks Scarlett... Not my gif so not insulted. Just a sentiment that you clearly avoid

Have a beautiful day

Got to love the posts on here... Quite amusing and sad at the same time. OP is this what you were referring to? Think some posters have provided some great examples here...

Anyway, I'll be kind... Not everyone on here is nasty in the name of "honesty"... Yes there's a few as you can see but I think there's more good than bad on here. Please don't let it deter you from using this site... It has been very useful for me at times, you just learn to ignore the bad.

'I'm on a post right now about baby headbands.... Not even in AIBU (so the nastiness isn't just restricted to here) and there's a response saying "they look chavvy as fuck"

Amazing

Harakeke
You said you now don't post because you don't want to see all the bitter comments ..... Imo this is exactly why people should comment with at least understanding , otherwise many others will be too anxious to use this platform for it's purpose surely it's like the bitchy gang as teens in the park who are so unnecessarily mean to others that they find somewhere else to hang to avoid aggressiveness & That's basically bullying ! No different to school yes everyone is entitled to comment & have an opinion but it's how that opinion or comments are delivered & if it's not helpful in some way then keep it to yourself 😬

But it's not just these posts, you're being disingenuous. People pick holes in the most banal posts, and sneer and are unkind, just because they're anonymous. I think people forget there's a real poster sometimes.

This is what I think. And it's a real shame, because the vast majority of posters are not like this. They might engage in robust debate and get forceful in expressing their views, but I actually quite like that, I join in as I was a student who engaged in seminar debates in my previous existence and I still enjoy a forthright exchange of opinions.

There's a big difference between a forthright exchange of opinions and a personal attack on an OP, with no purpose other than to put the other person down, and it's even worse when the OP is in a vulnerable place looking for advice.

Yet another "AIBU to think MN is mean and nasty" thread.
There's one of these every week at the moment where someone decides to self-appoint themselves as the thread police. 🙄

I often wonder if they are that rude in person to other people!

In my experience, yes people are that rude to others in public.

Work for a call centre one time, that will really open your eyes to how horrible people can be. Or in any shop/pub/restaurant at all.

I worked for a company in their call centre once and its actually amusing sometimes how people over react to something, thinking its fine to scream at you down the phone rather than let you fix the problem. I just ignored them until they finally shut up, and then told them what I could actually do to help. Think it made them feel a bit stupid to be honest (they are more than a bit stupid though) because if they had just reacted calmly, they'd have been off the phone 10 mins earlier and avoided wasting their time and money.

But hey, some people are thick. Can't teach them any better, they will always be stupid.

I was awful until three years ago, when I became a mum. Now, because I'm a mum, I'm perfect.

Even if I hang my child over the side of a bridge, even if I drink myself senseless and drive my child to school, even if I kill another parent, the fact that I'm now a mum means that harsh words can't be said to me on this forum. Got that, people?

TheresTheFlyingFuckIDontGive so bloody true.

'it's like the bitchy gang as teens in the park who are so unnecessarily mean to others that they find somewhere else to hang to avoid aggressiveness & That's basically bullying ! No different to school yes everyone is entitled to comment & have an opinion but it's how that opinion or comments are delivered & if it's not helpful in some way then keep it to yourself 😬'

One massive difference: we are all adults, freely entering into debate with each other. If you can't take someone disagreeing with you then best to only discuss things with people you know are unlikely to have an opinion that upsets you.

@TheresTheFlyingFuckIDontGive I remember a few years back I had an argument with a woman outside a pub it was 4am and everyone had had a bit to drink. She screamed at me 'I AM A MOTHER AND I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!' It made me laugh initially because it was such a wtf moment. So just because you're a mum it gives you the right to kill me? Very bizarre and her children had nothing to do with the argument! Your post has just reminded me of it 😂

Head bands on babies are grim though, so.....🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t mind people being arseholes so much.

What I detest are people who derail threads posted by women on extremely sensitive and devastating personal subjects, and then turn them into abstract internet debates. Or spend hours nitpicking at someone in genuine distress despite being asked to stop. I find that behaviour appalling. I’ve seen both of those types of behaviour this week. Both beyond the pale.

BiscuitBarrell I too have seen that this week and was angered and sickened by it.

There are some really nasty individuals on here I must admit

@HeronLanyon quite. Sickening. It’s insidious and it flies under the radar a lot of the time. But those people aren’t (usually) daft enough to be outright rude or insulting. It’s an altogether different thing that they’re up to. Vile.

TheresTheFlyingFuckIDontGive
That's quite true.
Nobody should ever report any safeguarding concerns because it's none of their business and maybe the parent is just having a bad day.
And sisterhood/feminism means validating whatever choice a woman makes.

There's no excuse for downright nastiness, but too often people mistake 'things I don't want to hear / things I don't agree with' for nastiness. This frequently goes hand in hand with posts claiming "MN is a nest of vipers / I should have known better than to ask (flounces) / "I'm going to get the thread deleted".