To have the biggest bedroom?!

[Anotheryearpasses]

It's just me and two DC. Youngest has been complaining about having a tiny room and I've been trying to work out how to change it. A huge chunk of his room is taken up by built in storage. Not sure I have the money to have it all pulled out just yet but maybe in a year or so.

It seems like an obvious solution that I should swap rooms with him.

I love my bedroom though and sometimes we are all in my bed. No idea how I'd fit in the small room but as he gets older it'll probably mean more to him to have a bigger room.

At 6, my kids were as likely to play downstairs or in the garden as in their room. They preferred playing at the kitchen table than the desk in their room. Most of their toys were stored downstairs as they didn't belong to an individual eg Lego.

This is why kids are growing up entitled. Glad you decided not to

The thing about small rooms for kids is that they will end up playing and bringing their stuff to the living room instead.

I have the small room because I spend the most time downstairs while all my kids are in their bedrooms all of the time. I also store my stuff around the house whereas all their stuff is in their bedrooms. They can also potentially have people over in their bedrooms whereas I would have people over downstairs. It makes logistical sense.

This is why kids are growing up entitled. Glad you decided not to

if your children grow up entitled because of the size of their bedroom, you are raising them VERY wrong.

If you think the size of your bedroom is a symbol of you authority (really? ), you must have so little faith in your parenting style and parenting status. No wonder so many parents have troubles with kids and teenagers!

I'm perplexed - people believe parents should in all cases have the biggest room, just to make a point, standing empty most of the time? And DC with all their toys and friends should be squeezed into a mox room just to make sure they know their place?

shocking isn't it...
The dynamic of some families is depressing.

You would have thought that organising things in a way that works for your family would make more sense, but no, apparently there's a hierarchy on grounds so thin the size of the room would be confusing and lead to entitled and disrespectful brats running wild.

I have a problem now, because I don't really like the bigger rooms and the smaller room's layout works much better for me. But apparently this means my DC will be entitled and spoilt..

'Remember it’s like training a pack of dogs. You need to be clear who’s in charge. So you get the biggest room. If you swap then psychologically he’s the alpha right?'

That's a nasty way to talk about fellow humans - I'd understand maybe if you were trying to rehabilitate violent criminals, but we're talking about a 6yo here.

Incidentally, this is exactly the mindset and method used by a great many abusive and controlling men to force their womenfolk to learn who is boss and be firmly put in their place, to avoid them getting above their station and starting to believe that they deserve any respect or consideration as humans.

Some people on here seem so down on children and to bitterly blame them for being and acting the age they actually are. Most of us love our children and want the best for them - we don't view them as a dangerous foe to be humiliated, suppressed or vanquished.

Holy shit @Wereallsquare, where do you think a child’s “place” is then? In the cupboard under the stairs? Why on earth would you even have children as you obviously despise the concept of them so much?

@gib1973 what on earth is a kid going to grow up entitled to? A roof over their head? Food on the table? Warm clothes? Or don’t you think they are worthy of those either in case they get ideas above their station.

I actually think there’s a sudden influx of goady fuckers on MN at the moment who seem to be getting their kicks from the Victorian parenting advice.

Incidentally, why does biggest automatically equal best? Are a man's clothes categorically the best ones in the household just because they're likely to be the biggest? Is a Morrison's lorry more desirable than a Maserati? Surely it's just a case of allocating resources according to the individual needs of all concerned, isn't it?

It would seem that a frightened child is a good and obedient child, according to some of the views expressed on here.

Keep your room but make his room as cool as possible :) Involve him in the decision making/decorating process. yes, he has to have the tiny room, but here have all this choice in what he wants to do with the space that he has. Six is a great age for that kind of thing.

Definitely keep your room.

What's the storage space in his room like? is it big enough to make a little play area in? My friend had a secret door into a storage space off her bedroom that her mother had made into a tiny but really cool play area

Our son has the biggest room, because I prefer the view in our room.

You're the boss, you get to choose, and don't feel bad about it. I wouldn't necessarily choose the biggest, but unless there were extenuating circumstances (like our furniture didn't fit) I would reserve the right to take the one I like best!

If it's not practical for you to move rooms, definitely don't. He only needs a single bed - I'll bet you can still make it look amazing - even in a small space.

Maybe if you ever move though, let him have first dibs in terms of his sibling. I always got the box room until my folks moved to the last house and it did get to be a bone of contention (considering we moved 13 times!).

I'm going to swop with my 11yr old soon. But her bed current room can accommodate a double bed. I don't think I'd swop if I couldn't have a double. My husband has a room of similar size to DD. My larger room is also the storage for lots of stuff. I've got some reorganising to do!

I think it’s the norm for adults to have the master bedroom.

Excellent posts by WeBuiltThisBuffet. Like gingersausage, I've noticed an increase in authoritarian posts on here whose authors seem to see children - including their own - as scheming. manipulative enemies to be outsmarted/subdued.

Especially when children have to share rooms, but not only, no it's not the norm at all to allocate the biggest bedroom to the parent.

You can make the "master bedroom" in a box room if you are really keen on that title.

We gave the kids the master bedroom because the view was awful - they didn’t care but I did. So we had a lovely sunny room looking over the garden and they had lots of floor space for the trains.

Do whatever works best for all of you.

I don't know, I know of hate the whole "adults paying for things get the best of everything" attitude, I think it's nice for kids to have their own space for playing etc. I never use my bedroom for much else than sleeping and spend most of the time in kitchen and living room. Children have much more use for their own bedrooms.

I don't understand. Surely there is a pecking order. If we are paying the mortgage then I think we would have the master bedroom. My dps had a lovely en-suite with their room . I don't think they would have given it to their dc and rightly so

When the dc grow up then they can do the same in their own house. Dc are minors and the parents are in charge not them.

but, again, the size of the bedroom has NOTHING TO DO with who is in charge in the house.

tbh - I'd take the smaller room because children spend more time in theirs than I do in mine

If you have a spouse then you are sharing the room so you need the space and storage. Is it different for lone parents possibly?