To have the biggest bedroom?!

[Anotheryearpasses]

It's just me and two DC. Youngest has been complaining about having a tiny room and I've been trying to work out how to change it. A huge chunk of his room is taken up by built in storage. Not sure I have the money to have it all pulled out just yet but maybe in a year or so.

It seems like an obvious solution that I should swap rooms with him.

I love my bedroom though and sometimes we are all in my bed. No idea how I'd fit in the small room but as he gets older it'll probably mean more to him to have a bigger room.

If you think a high sleeper is too high for your 6yo, we are getting a mid-sleeper for our 4yo. He can still play underneath (or use it for storage). Our Steens beds have play tents you can put underneath the mid-sleepers for extra fun. We put DD in a top bunk at about 7yo but put one of those fabric canopies on there to reduce her ability to stand up. She's pretty sensible but the canopy keeps her sat down.

I think you have to choose what best suits you and your home, there is no right or wrong. We've given up the master for our children, it's temporary while they play with toys and need the floor space, they also share so we get an office in the small room. Our bedroom is an okay sized double though. We also have a reason to make the change back (DD is getting too old to be sharing with her younger brother when we do have enough bedrooms for them to have their own rooms). That gives us a get out and a reason to swap back. DD is therefore getting a teenage room in the small back bedroom this year, ready for Y7.

My DD aged 2 has the bigger bedroom! We would never of fit all her stuff in the smaller one, so we took it. She will be sharing with her sister in the not so distance future though... but if you don’t want to OP, I wouldn’t. I would just go with the removing built in storage & cabin bed idea.

Growing up the youngest sibling in our house had the bigger room (parents also had a big room) as they had more toys and need space to play. Eventually we would share it with other siblings. The older ones always got the box rooms as we'd have our own space but could play with younger siblings in their room and had a lot less stuff. We had a big family and couldn't wait to go in our own room even when it was smaller!

My friend has 2 DS's in the bigger rooms and she has the smallest. Works for them and even now as teenagers they spend all there free time in them or out.

Adults get the "best" (biggest) room because they're the ones paying for the home and dealing with all the day-to-day frustrations of adulthood.

I'd put some money and effort into space-saving furniture and storage all the way up the walls, but I would not give up my bedroom. I'd also consider having the two children swap rooms every so often. There's no reason the youngest should have the smallest room all the time. Maybe if his room is far too small, you could store some of his things (clothes, less-frequently used toys) somewhere else in the house (even in your own room), and he can use the common areas of the house to play in. When I was a kid, my siblings and I played in the whole house, not just our own rooms (two for three of us, which meant someone was always sharing).

When they're teens then they could take their friends up to their room if it's bigger. I certainly wouldt be hiding in my bedroom if their friends came round!

Adults get the "best" (biggest) room because they're the ones paying for the home and dealing with all the day-to-day frustrations of adulthood.

what a horrible way to see things. If nothing else, kids didn't ask to be born...
Adults chose to organise the way that works best for the entire family. Who cares who is paying the mortgage, as a parent your only job is to do your best for the children

Yes ,kids play in the entire house, but you can stop them from using YOUR room and you can relax in the living room once they are in bed.

There's nothing wrong in giving kids the biggest rooms. In many cases, that's the best arrangement.

Can't you just take the built-in storage out yourself? Even if you can't refinish the walls etc if necessary yet, surely it must be possible to remove at least some of it with fairly basic tools.

As the youngest I always had the smallest room.

See if you can cheaply get the built in storage out of his room and store his stuff elsewhere, in your room if needs be, but leave yourself as the adult and bed sharer with the biggest room.

My stuff was stored under the stairs. Worked for me

Ridiculous to even think of doing this. Another reason why so many children are growing up with a huge sense of entitlement.

The adult(s) paying for the house get the master bedroom. When your kids are adults, they can pay for their own master bedroom.

Don't let the tail wag the dog. He's six and he will survive this and all the many other indignities of not being the one who pays the bills. Would your parents have even considered giving you the best bedroom?

Adults chose to organise the way that works best for the entire family. Who cares who is paying the mortgage, as a parent your only job is to do your best for the children

My thoughts exactly.

All of these comments (when OP has clearly said that the child has never actually asked to swap rooms) about 'I pay the rent/mortgage so I get what I want' are just not what I'd expect loving parents to say. If anything, it's actually the attitude I'd expect from an immature child.

Should children really not have their needs and interests considered, just because they're too young to contribute financially to the household? Nobody would leave a hungry baby or toddler wailing for ages because 'I pay the mortgage, so they'll get fed when I say so'. You might as well give them an invoice as soon as they get a paper round for the 9 months' rent they owe you (plus interest) from before they were born.

All parents make sacrifices for their children - it's a major part of what being a parent means. This is not the same as letting them have their own way and dictate to you, but it does mean that you put them first. Would people sit at home all day watching the Horror Channel with a scared and bored toddler who wants CBeebies, just because 'I'm the one who pays the rent'?

I agree with the minority of PPs that, as an adult, the whole house tends to be based around your preferences, plus you don't have shedloads of bulky toys and a need to run around letting off steam. After bedtime, the main living areas are yours to use however you see fit.

It makes more sense if there are two parents for them to share the biggest/a bigger room, but if there's just one adult, I would think that s/he would be wise and kind enough to consider who will get the most benefit from each room.

Put his toys somewhere else in the house. When he is just a bit older, all that storage will be fantastic.

I've considered swapping rooms, but I'm reality my room houses a LOT of things that aren't personal to me, but for our family, suitcases, presents, additional bedding etc. So a move would in truth only move the beds.

IF I could truly swap and fit everything in the other room I would swap.

As I can't I've just made the best of the space. There's still space for toy playing and I never have issues with toys being played downstairs.

Are you using the built-in storage for his toys?

We divided the biggest room in two with a fake wall so that two sharing children has their own space. I took the middle size room and one has the teeny room with a high sleeper. None of us really has the space we’d like. Eventually I will take the wall out and reclaim the big room. Although wondering if I should make the tiny room the closet one day lol - it fits a single bed with a bedside table and that’s it.

In your situation OP I would probably keep my room unless your child has a hobby that takes up a lot of space.

I voted YABU to swap bedrooms - not sure if that's how you meant the voting.

Me too.

I vehemently disagree with this hierarchical notion that the adult always gets the best room, and think MereDintofPandiculation's point: 'To children, their room is their world, whereas as an adult, everything in the house is arranged to my taste and convenience.' is a very good one. Dh and I currently don't have a bedroom so our three children can all have their badly-needed own space (teen, preteen and preschooler. The older two need space for hobby kit and there is room in both rooms for friend sleepovers).

The choice is obviously yours, OP, but I think I would do the swap, unless you can persuade him to wait a bit (high sleepers are a PITA at 6) and then perhaps get him a fantastic high sleeper (you coluld get a big one made).

He’s 6 so no he doesn’t get the master bedroom. Remember it’s like training a pack of dogs. You need to be clear who’s in charge. So you get the biggest room. If you swap then psychologically he’s the alpha right? Set the intentions/boundaries now or you’ll be in trouble when he’s a teenager. Look at a cabin bed for him with space underneath? He only needs to sleep in his bedroom. He can play in yours.

Great post from WeBuiltThisBuffet.
And, as an aside, I loathe the term 'master bedroom'. Reeks of unpleasant associations and snobbery.

Must admit though, I find it difficult to relate to the idea of I get the best because I'm the adult.

You still haven't explained why your eldest gets the best child's room because they're the eldest!

And if there is a large age gap it makes even less sense. Keep your room , give the youngest with most toys the larger child's room, and make the box room suitable for the eldest DC.

Something like this so he’s got room to play underneath. You could even make it into a den underneath. Fun.

www.amazon.co.uk/cabin-bed-single-sleeper-childrens/dp/B018KF33J6/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=cabin+bed+high+sleeper&sprefix=cabin+bed+high+&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1582525309&sr=8-3

'Remember it’s like training a pack of dogs. You need to be clear who’s in charge. So you get the biggest room. If you swap then psychologically he’s the alpha right?'

If you want to get rid of the built in storage in his room - it shouldn’t cost any money to do - you just need a sledgehammer. Second hand chest of drawers etc shouldn’t cost too much. Might solve the problem all round?

How much room does he need he’s 6?!?
My 18 year old has the tiniest room in our house then me room for a bed a chest of drawers that’s it then my 3 other kids share the biggest room and it’s a total nightmare the age gap is too big 14 year old doesn’t get on with other 2 8&9 year olds bed times are stressful they literally have nowhere to play.
2 years of this in temp accommodation and I’m really fed up.
Wait save for stoarahe to come out and ignore the moaning

Storage even

Don’t do it OP, keep your room.

I have the same situation with me and DD-her room is tiiiiny but I got her a high sleeper so she has the whole floor space to play. Also got her ceiling LEGO and shelves up by her bed etc. It’s actually a cool little place now and she loves it.

The few single parents I have known to do this when I was a child, were always treated as less than human by their children. It’s just something I really associate with martyrism and putting yourself below the children in the pecking order.

Make both your rooms lovely places you both want to be.