aibu to tell friend she's probably poisoned DH?

[PineappleDanish]

Out for dinner at friends' last night. Starter was mussels in a creamy sauce - one of DH's favourites. All of us ate it. Tasted fine. We've eaten mussels lots of times in the past, no allergies, experienced enough to tell if something tastes "off". All good.

DH this morning has symptoms which strongly indicate food poisoning. Strongly suspect the mussels, although it's weird that he's ill and I'm fine.

WIBU to text friend and say "thanks for lovely night but DH chained to the loo, just thought you should know"?

I don't know if your DP does/doesn't have food poisoning but I just wanted to point out that my DH has very severe food poisoning last year (he ended up in hospital) but we never actually thought it was food poisoning because no one else was ill. After tests that managed to work out that it was and informed us that it can affect people differently so not necessarily everyone would be ill.

I’m struggling to see what would be the benefit of texting your friend that passive aggressive message? Or any message at all really!

As a PP alluded to, people who are ill quickly after eating have usually eaten too much, drunk too much, eaten a mixture of unfamiliar foods or eaten something they are intolerant of/allergic to.

Unless they have just eaten shellfish according to a gastroenterologist I know. I assumed I was allergic to something because it was so quick but they said no, that was to be poisoning.

There's a really nasty sickness bug around at the moment, it's probably that. DD had it last week, and she is one of those people who never gets sick,. I never caught it, and neither did DS, she'd picked it up from someone at work that had been sick on their day off, sometimes it just goes that way. Get him some rehydration drinks, and tell him to rest.

OP that is so bad, I wouldnt send that to my friend 😂

If he's experienced at detecting bad mussels, like you say in your op, it's more likely he's developed that intolerance of them that other posters have experienced. Your friend sounds like she's dealt with mussels lots of times before so it's unlikely a dodgy one (that hadn't opened/closed the shell accordingly) was missed by her.

Glad you're not going to text her, nothing useful could be achieved by that.

Poisoned in the thread title is a little overly dramatic.

If @woodchuck99 is talking specifically about shellfish poisoning, it is unlikely that only one person, or only one mussel, would be affected.

If it’s one of the specific shellfish toxins, which come from algae contamination, it’s unlikely that only one mussel in the batch would be affected. Same for scombrotoxic poisoning. The symptoms for those toxins are not the same as your classic ‘chained to the lavatory’ food poisoning effects.

Shellfish can carry Norovirus if they have been farmed in infected waters, eg where untreated sewage has been wrongly released, although the waters are tested regularly. If something had gone wrong, it wouldn’t just be one mussel affected and cooking usually destroys viruses in any event.

More likely that it is Norovirus picked up via a different route, as a PP suggests.

I hope @PineappleDanish‘s husband has now revived!

What’s the up side? More likely a bug anyway.... report back tomorrow

Mussels are the most disgusting things on earth. Why anyone would choose to eat something that is full of all the shit in the sea defeats me - but if everyone else is okay then it’s not that which has given your husband a bad stomach.

Having said that, I’d give mussels a miss in future, there are far better things to eat.

Why would you do that? Chances are it’s not as you aren’t I’ll and it will just make her feel awful. Telling a restaurant who have reheated rice or undercooked chicken or something is one thing but a mate who was good enough to cook you dinner - definitely not.

It only takes one dodgy mussel in the batch to make the person who eats it ill. No one else will be affected. Same as with prawns and oysters. So, yes it is possible she has accidentally poisoned him. But to tell her is wrong. Does your DH know to leave any unopened ones on his plate or did he eat one and poisioned himself! Anyone who eats shellfish knowingly takes the risk. Funnily DH poisoned me on our very first Valentine's date when he elected to cook mussels. Did all the prep well according to him but still. We still laugh about now, 20 years later. It's just one of those things!

Oh my god OP, why would you do that?!? Your friend would feel awful!

I can't believe anyone would contemplate doing this

If it's only him it's likely he picked something up earlier in the day.

Don't say anything in this instance.

If @woodchuck99 is talking specifically about shellfish poisoning, it is unlikely that only one person, or only one mussel, would be affected.

DH ate the same food as me and was fine. Gastroenterologist told me it was food poisoning.

About 25 years ago I was sent one of those texts by the wife of my Ex husband’s boss.

I was young and trying to create the right impression with a very special “dinner party”.

No one else was ill apart from her. I was mortified.

The next time I saw her she told me not to speak to her child as she didn’t want her picking up my northern accent.

So, don’t be like Karen.

There is nothing to be achieved here.

You answered your own question... You all ate the same meal!

Just a thought but as "classic food poisoning symptoms" are the same for many stomach bugs (norovirus etc) and a bug can be picked up from a surface, you don't have to "be around" an ill person to catch it have you thought about contacting your friend and warning them that they have been around someone who has a stomach bug and therefore there is a possibility they might catch it themselves?

No way to tell whether it's a bug or food poisoning and neither is proved if others do/don't get it. But perhaps sharing information rather than apportioning blame might just be a better way to go?

Everyone always blames what they ate the night before. Some food poisoning takes a week and there’s one that can take 28 days. The person who prepares a chicken for example can be sick four days later but the rest of the family will be fine as they only ate it when cooked. Education is a wonderous thing.

I was the same as CP3u but had a bad experience years ago from work and didn’t eat them again until about two years ago as put me off completely it is like suck bugs sometimes the adults get and nit the kids and the opposite way round. In these circumstances it may be a few months until someone says From that night they may have been ill always seems to be the case.. 💙 but leave it Family always say they have had food poisoning when it wasn’t #cringeworthymoment.com

It could be a virus or it could very well be food poisoning even if your DH is the only one who is sick. Seafood and especially things like mussels can easily cause issues - sometimes it only takes one bad mussel to cause it. Trouble is you don't always know as you can't always tell when some seafood is off especially if cooked in sauces, etc that may mask the problem. Possibly one of the mussels didn't open after cooking and it should have been discarded but somehow wasn't.

Not sure I'd tell your friend though. It's most likely not anything she did. The only reason I can think of to tell her would be so that she'd be more circumspect about where she buys mussels in the future, just in case the place/person purchased from wasn't selling the freshest seafood. Even then not sure it would make a difference as you can't always tell, so I'm unsure about telling her.

Contact her to ask if all is well with them. If she asks just say your hubby is I'll and you are just trying to find out what's causing him to be I'll and go from there and narrow it down.

I avoid Shellfish in all forms and especially Mussells My Family love them and so far have been lucky but I am not going to run the risk.