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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to tell friend she's probably poisoned DH?

173 replies

PineappleDanish · 23/02/2020 11:52

Out for dinner at friends' last night. Starter was mussels in a creamy sauce - one of DH's favourites. All of us ate it. Tasted fine. We've eaten mussels lots of times in the past, no allergies, experienced enough to tell if something tastes "off". All good.

DH this morning has symptoms which strongly indicate food poisoning. Strongly suspect the mussels, although it's weird that he's ill and I'm fine.

WIBU to text friend and say "thanks for lovely night but DH chained to the loo, just thought you should know"?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 23/02/2020 18:45

In the dim and distant past I did a food hygiene course. Some food poinsoning takes up to a week to have symptoms. It may have been one bad muscle if it hadn’t opened, but the extreme likely hood is it was something he ate previously.

woodchuck99 · 23/02/2020 19:17

It may have been one bad muscle if it hadn’t opened, but the extreme likely hood is it was something he ate previously

Why? Shellfish are a common cause of poisoning. Symptoms can take just a few hours.

OhCaptain · 23/02/2020 19:19

Well does it matter @woodchuck99? It won't change anything and telling the friend won't achieve anything.

woodchuck99 · 23/02/2020 19:23

Well does it matter @woodchuck99? It won't change anything and telling the friend won't achieve anything.

I agree telling her friend is pointless. That doesn't mean it doesn't matter. I like to know if I've had food poisoning or if I have potentially infectious illness for example.

Original poster
PineappleDanish · 23/02/2020 20:40

I haven't said anything to anyone about it. I take it on board that obviously it could be a bug, but we're all well and DH hasn't been in contact with anyone ill. He is sure that it's something he ate.

He's feeling a bit better now, not eating anything tonight though and I'm trying to persuade him that it's probably best not to go to work tomorrow either.

OP posts:
Bikerider2020 · 23/02/2020 22:38

I had food poisoning from mussels, the only one of five people. It happens, one bad mussel.

Bluntness100 · 23/02/2020 22:42

It likely is something he ate. The point is you don’t know exactly what it was, it could have been a mussel, it could have been something else. You don’t know and neither does he. That’s why texting your host to say thanks mate but you poisoned my husband isn’t remotely ok.

Bluntness100 · 23/02/2020 22:44

Why? Shellfish are a common cause of poisoning. Symptoms can take just a few hours

Because with some forms of food poisoning it can take a week to incubate, others 48 or 24 hours, unless he has a sample tested they don’t know what causes it, shellfish is far from the only cause of food poisoning,

Mumtothelittlefella · 23/02/2020 22:45

If it was the mussels the food poisoning would have hit within hours of eating them. I know from previous experience 🤢

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 23/02/2020 22:49

You don't all have to be ill for it to be food poisoning.

I wouldn't sent the text, what response so you want from it?

LuckyLickitung · 23/02/2020 22:52

Either it was one dodgy mussel or a bug or intolerance, but which ever it was, there's no benefit in telling your friend.

I was gutted when I realised that I could no longer tolerate sea food (along with some other foods).

WinterCat · 23/02/2020 22:54

Your proposed text sounded exactly like you we’re blaming her so not sure why you now say you aren’t.

Classic food poisoning symptoms are the same as norovirus or gastro bugs. If he has been sick, he needs to be clear for 48 hours before returning to work.

Hittapotamus · 23/02/2020 22:57

I've had 'one bad mussel' food poisoning too. Horrific. Rest of the family were fine.

Just to be aware once you've had mussel food poisoning once you may become sensitive to the toxin so even a tiny amount gives horrific symptoms. Because mussells are full of shit I now can't even have one without being uncontrollably ill. Just to warn your DH.

aibutohavethisusername · 23/02/2020 23:03

I can get Ill within minutes of eating mussels.

conduitoffortune · 23/02/2020 23:04

What do you want her to do about it!? You sound as if you want a grovelling apology and free gift.

Doodlesquah1 · 23/02/2020 23:23

thanks for lovely night but DH chained to the loo, just thought you should know

Dear me! No!

FeeFee832 · 23/02/2020 23:44

Nooooo! Why would you message??

Iamthewombat · 23/02/2020 23:47

You really are one of the most rude and ungrateful people to have posted on this forum. How on earth do people like you have friends while I constantly see threads on here from lovely people who struggle to make friends.

Crikey! Steady on! Bad day at the office, was it?

Whilst I find the widespread ignorance of food poisoning incubation periods on Mumsnet as irritating as the next holder of the advanced food hygiene certificate, I think that telling the OP she doesn’t deserve friends is pushing it a bit!

As a PP alluded to, people who are ill quickly after eating have usually eaten too much, drunk too much, eaten a mixture of unfamiliar foods or eaten something they are intolerant of/allergic to.

On a similar thread last week, a poster’s DH had been ill the morning after eating in a restaurant. Ill-informed contributors were queueing up to assure the OP that it MUST be food poisoning because that ALWAYS shows within 12 hours. No, it doesn’t; as a PP pointed out, most food poisoning pathogens take much longer. One of the clueless posters chimed in with, “Oh, every day is a school day”. Yes, but if you don’t know anything about food poisoning, why post onto a thread purporting to know what you are talking about?

Bluerussian · 24/02/2020 00:06

That's a sensible post, iamawombat. I agree most food poisoning pathogens take longer than twelve hours to cause upset and that varies between people.

I doubt the op was serious about contacting her friend to blame her.

user1471449295 · 24/02/2020 00:12

Even if there happened to be one bad mussel and he was unfortunate enough to have it, you are just going to worry, upset and embarrass her.

BumbleBeee69 · 24/02/2020 00:51

Personally I wouldn't have eaten them... they give me the dry boak... 🤢

Frownette · 24/02/2020 01:11

Just leave it OP.

Is DH better now?

knowmenclature · 24/02/2020 01:28

bad muscle Grin. Tiger balm might help with that @Bluntness100

One bad mussel is all it takes.

I would tell friend, and I would be wary of future mussels from friend, or ask where they came from and was everyone else ok, but not blame the friend!

Shellfish are notorious for food-poisoning, but you do usually know what the bad food is, because it repeats and doesn't settle before it all starts coming back again, hence will put off the sufferer from ever eating it again!

I've had food poisoning within 12 hours, normally within the night of eating it gets rejected, pretty damn quick.

BootShakin · 24/02/2020 03:11

That was a dumb idea, OP. Thats all.

woodchuck99 · 24/02/2020 08:25

Because with some forms of food poisoning it can take a week to incubate, others 48 or 24 hours, unless he has a sample tested they don’t know what causes it, shellfish is far from the only cause of food poisoning,

The risk is high with Mussels though and it can take just a few hours. I don't eat them for that reason. My point is that it is not at all unlikely.