aibu to tell friend she's probably poisoned DH?

[PineappleDanish]

Out for dinner at friends' last night. Starter was mussels in a creamy sauce - one of DH's favourites. All of us ate it. Tasted fine. We've eaten mussels lots of times in the past, no allergies, experienced enough to tell if something tastes "off". All good.

DH this morning has symptoms which strongly indicate food poisoning. Strongly suspect the mussels, although it's weird that he's ill and I'm fine.

WIBU to text friend and say "thanks for lovely night but DH chained to the loo, just thought you should know"?

@PineappleDanish I agree with a pp, you don't sound like a good friend at all.

Why the F would you want to to send a nasty text like THAT?!

'Your cooking caused my husband to be chained to the toilet all night - VOMITING!'

Effing 'ell. If you treat your friends like this, I'd hate to be your enemy.

How odd. Close enough friends to be invited fir dinner and yet you ask this.

Why on earth would you tell her? Absolutely nothing positive or productive or helpful to be achieved. Only to make your “friend” feel like shite.

actually, send it. I always like to know who my real friends are. This text would provide clarity.

Whilst I agree it wibu to send the message, mylittleboo that's a bit of an overaction and a stretch to nominate op as the worst person on mumsnet and undeserving of friends. Hyperbole much?

He may well have developed an allergy to them, it's quite common. Pretty shitty (no pun intended) to automatically assume your friend poisoned him.

Might be worth letting them know as it's more likely to be a virus and they might have caught it.

They’ll know if they’ve caught a virus!

I would tell them DH was vomiting and I hoped he hasn’t passed it onto them.

If you’re fine, I doubt it’s her cooking!

Tbh I think this is a risk you take with mussels, and it would be awful to effectively ring her and complain.

It probably is this but just a random bad one rather than the something she did. So I wouldnt tell her

DS had this with clams. He used to be able to eat them no problem. Then one meal with them in, which had been made in one pot and DH and I also ate, he was terribly ill but DH and I were fine. Assumed it was a dodgy one.

Was still eating mussels etc all fine. Then had another meal with clams, again DH and I ate the same meal, almost instantaneously DS was sick. He doesn't have clams any more!

Oh and your friend hasn’t poisoned your dh.

If he does have food poisoning, then likely a dodgy mussel that your “friend” couldn’t have known about really.

**
Today 13:18 fedup21

I would tell them DH was vomiting and I hoped he hasn’t passed it onto them.**

Again, what would be the purpose in doing this? This will only either make the family anxious they are coming down with something and bugger all they can do about it and / or will sow seeds in her mind that you are implying the vomiting is her fault

You only need one bad mussel to be ill, right? So why are so many posters convinced it couldn’t be a mussel?

Shellfish and oysters can carry norovirus due to coming into contact with infected sewage. Lovely!

Oh god, do not send that text!

She very likely has poisoned your DH but not much point in saying anything now. Just don't eat any again that she has cooked. Not sure why people think that because you are not ill it isn't food poisoning. It doesn't work like that with mussels. He obviously a dodgy one because she didn't check that they were all closed before cooking or open after cooking.

Regardless of whether or not he is ill from the mussels, why on earth would you want to text her and tell her that? There is literally not one positive to be gained by texting her, other than you getting some kick out of making her feel bad?

If he does have food poisoning, then likely a dodgy mussel that your “friend” couldn’t have known about really.

She probably could have known about it actually if she knew how to cook them. The moral is don't trust friends to cook mussels.

I had this after dinner at a friend's house. Spent the night and next day being very ill. DH was fine. Definitely not the food.

I briefly toyed with the idea of texting friend, only to say words to the effect of "I'm really sorry, I have been really ill all night. Obviously NOT the lovely food from last night so I'm hoping I haven't brought some awful bug to your house and passed it on to you all".

I pretty quickly decided to just keep quiet,. No matter even if something is unintentional or well-intentioned, sometimes it's better to just keep your trap shut than to risk offending good friends. No good can come of a message like that!

*You only need one bad mussel to be ill, right? So why are so many posters convinced it couldn’t be a mussel?"

you are completely missing the point. It could be the mussel but OP doesn't know for sure. In this context, it is a pretty shitty text to send to a friend who hosted you the night before. Or do you send messages to friends with random accusations for which you don't have any proof?

I’m another who used to eat mussels with no problems and is now hideously sick if I do

I agree that this is the risk you take when you eat mussels

When I was younger we’d sometimes go out drinking after work. Two particular lads would often be unwell the next day and would blame the supposedly ‘dirty pipes’ in the pub we frequented. Feeling ill and throwing up was clearly down to the pubs poor hygiene - nothing to do with the two of them drinking so much they were sick!

Is that WIBU as in
Will I be unreasonable ?
or
Was I being unreasonable?

I do hope the first and that it's not too late for your friendship!!

Believe me after being food poisoned by mussels once before, the most extreme symptoms started within an hour after eating them!
I wouldnt text her, especially if nobody else has symptoms what's the point

It's not food poisoning if everyone else is fine.
Don't know what you'd get from telling her though unless your goal is to make her feel like shit.