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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to tell friend she's probably poisoned DH?

173 replies

PineappleDanish · 23/02/2020 11:52

Out for dinner at friends' last night. Starter was mussels in a creamy sauce - one of DH's favourites. All of us ate it. Tasted fine. We've eaten mussels lots of times in the past, no allergies, experienced enough to tell if something tastes "off". All good.

DH this morning has symptoms which strongly indicate food poisoning. Strongly suspect the mussels, although it's weird that he's ill and I'm fine.

WIBU to text friend and say "thanks for lovely night but DH chained to the loo, just thought you should know"?

OP posts:
Thefaceofboe · 23/02/2020 12:32

Not if it hasnt affected you.

MsMD · 23/02/2020 12:33

What alternate universe do you live in that that would be an ok text to send? I would never have you over again if I received that!

DoubleDeckerBusRideLover · 23/02/2020 12:35

Please don't.

I put on.a huge eightieth birthday party for my MIL last year. The next morning she told me she'd been vomiting all night. I felt terrible and worried about all the other old people I might have poisoned, wondering what food item it was, etc.

Only a couple of days later, did she confess it was probably because she'd eaten lots of food she was allergic to (even though I'd specifically and expensively catered lots and lots that she could have safely eaten).

My husband got poisoned at one of the best fish restaurants in Croatia. None of the rest of us were, so I get that it happens, but sometimes you have to think about what you will achieve by sending your message...

At this stage, I would say, all you will achieve is upset.

Monty27 · 23/02/2020 12:37

What was your purpose of texting your friend?

lostinleaves · 23/02/2020 12:37

It's not going to be food poisoning if it's only your DH who is ill, if you eat mussels which are off then you'd all know about it - and soon.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 23/02/2020 12:37

You can get norovirus from contaminated shellfish, quite possibly that and nothing to do with your host or her cooking. Just one of the risks of eating molluscs

dontgobaconmyheart · 23/02/2020 12:37

Bizarre thing to do OP. Not really any evidence for it anyway other than you deciding it's the mussels that specifically he ate, when you all had the same. Why can't it have been anything else he ate or drank in the last day or so or simply a virus, when there are so many going around.

Mainly, why do you feel such an intense need to share that your DP has the shits and let your friend know you think she is responsible. What exactly is it you want her to do with this info? Does your DH want yo text her? Let him do it if so and make an idiot of himself instead.

L0bstersLass · 23/02/2020 12:38

It could easily be the mussels. He may have eaten an iffy one. It's not her fault, it's a risk with eating mussels.

The potential bad news is that he may never be able to enjoy them again. I ate mussels for years and loved them, then I ate them in a restaurant once and was terribly unwell. Next time I ate mussels I was worse. I didn't eat them again for years tried again - I honestly thought I was going to die and was in bed for days.

The last time I was affected there were no mussels visible in the dish, they had been used to make the stock that was in the sauce. I was sick within minutes of eating it.

Now when eating out and taking the seafood option I have to be very careful to make sure no mussels have been used in the stock/sauce.
Thankfully, I am absolutely fine with scallops and oysters - it's just mussels that affect me.

This is a long winded way of saying that the next time your husband eats mussels he should make sure that he has no important plans for the rest of the evening or the next day - just in case. I really hope he isn't affected as I miss eating mussels so much.

TSSDNCOP · 23/02/2020 12:39

Would sending it make DH feel any better?

Don’t send it. Never even mention it.

mylittleboo · 23/02/2020 12:41

You “think” it’s probably the mussels. Where did you get your medical training to be such a sickness expert OP? I’m impressed that you have a shit analysing lab in your house for you to make that judgement. I’ve had food poisoning. I was laid up for 2 weeks. I couldn’t walk. Severely dehydrated. Constant vom and poop. Every 20 minutes. The doctor took my poop and sent it off to the lab. Until you’ve done that you can’t say for sure. If he’s not vomming tomorrow then it’s not food poisoning. You really are one of the most rude and ungrateful people to have posted on this forum. How on earth do people like you have friends while I constantly see threads on here from lovely people who struggle to make friends. I hope karma bites you on the arse and you never get any more dinner invites.

curlsnotfrizz · 23/02/2020 12:44

I know it's not her fault. She's a good cook and knows what she's doing.

it probably is not as it most likely was not her food if you are fine.

food poisoning is very similar to the vomitting bug. how do you know it's not the latter.

MrsAgassi · 23/02/2020 12:45

I don’t know why on earth you would consider telling her?

Just to make her feel bad about your husband being ill, even though you don’t know it was as a result of something he ate there?

There is obviously the possibility that it was a mussel, but your friend can hardly be held responsible for a dodgy one in amongst them.

PeterPanGoesWrong · 23/02/2020 12:45

So you think telling her that your husband had a bad mussel is the way to cultivate a good relationship with your friend do you?
Just let it go, he could have got sick from pushing a supermarket trolley or pushing open a toilet door and touching his face.
Sorry, but for you to suggest to her that she is responsible and s rude.

curlsnotfrizz · 23/02/2020 12:46

you really sound like a shitty friend, OP.

fedup21 · 23/02/2020 12:49

His symptoms are classic food poisoning

Oh right. What are they?

pipnchops · 23/02/2020 12:54

Went to a restaurant in Paris with DH once and we both had mussels. He was terribly ill that night and I was fine. He may have just had a dodgy mussel in his portion while everyone else didn't. I don't think you need to mention it to your friend as it'll just make her feel awful and there's no need to. Hope he makes a quick recovery. My DH went off mussels for years after that experience it was so horrible.

74NewStreet · 23/02/2020 12:56

How will you explain to your friend that she’s managed to poison your dh, but not you? She’ll think you’re a misinformed, ungracious loon.

Queenest · 23/02/2020 12:56

I don’t think I’d say anything, there’s nothing to gain and everything to lose. Just thank her for a lovely evening and leave it at that.

WTFdidwedo · 23/02/2020 12:56

Food poisoning can take 72 hours to present and it's really difficult to identify an exact cause. It's a bit odd for you to want to message her considering you don't have any symptoms.

FlowerArranger · 23/02/2020 13:02

@PineappleDanish... you know of course that the hostess is not Mumsnet... Shock

BumbleBeee69 · 23/02/2020 13:06

Maybe it was something You cooked in the days prior to going to dinner.... perhaps

cricketmum84 · 23/02/2020 13:06

Nah. Even if it WAS the mussels (which is highly unlikely given he is the only one who is ill) I wouldn't tell her. What exactly would you want that text to achieve?

OscarWildesCat · 23/02/2020 13:09

Nope, why would you?....

DecemberSnow · 23/02/2020 13:09

You say

"His symptoms are classic food poisoning""

How do you know OP?
This is impossible

Okbutno · 23/02/2020 13:10

If yiyre not all ill I highly doubt its food poisoning.

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