Stupid thing you thought when you were a kid

[glitteryboots]

I'm watching the first episode of Schitt's Creek on Netflix and the boy and girl in it are arguing over who gets what bed in the motel because if someone were to break in they would murder the person in the first bed. I thought the exact same thing when I was a kid - made sure my brother slept in the bed nearest the door because then I thought I was safe. Not an AIBU but what weird things did you think as a kid?

@Whatisthisfuckery ...😂 at your 5 year old self goose stepping in Germany!

I thought that to have a girl baby a woman took a pink pill and a blue pill would give a boy baby ...I believed this until around 14 !!!!

I thought quick sand was an ever present danger. My friends and I seemed to talk a, lot about the risk of it yet I have never been stuck in quick sand

I remember once having a shower at my cousins after having a sleep over, the only shower gel was my uncles 'for men' shower gel so I showered with just water in case it made me infertile...I was like 13, quite old!

My parents asked for cashback in the supermarket each week and I always thought they were being given free money

I thought men farted down their penises.

I thought men farted down their penises.

They would if they could.

My mum had black & white photos from when she was a child

I thought the world was black and white when she was a child and somehow over the years colour came into the world

I'm another one who was left with the impression that quicksand would be a far bigger problem in my life than it has been thus far...

I was also shocked to discover that you have to pay water rates - I didn't realise this until I moved into my own flat.

My mate and I, when we were about 8, thought that if we saved up our pocket money we could buy a jetpack - never mind that they weren't for sale and were only really an experimental thing that could only 'fly' a few metres above the ground for a few seconds at a time!

I believed my Nan invented the recipe for scrambled egg. My dad was a bit of a wind up merchant and would tell us stuff like that for fun

Bear with me, this is illogical! I thought when people spoke a foreign language they hear it as English.

Though I didn't label it English, it was just the sounds people heard, I was quite curious as to what English sounded like to anyone who didn't speak it.

It also meant that if someone could speak more than one language they hear and spoke each language the same, but when they spoke each language only people who knew it heard it in 'English' otherwise it sounded like a foreign language.

I can't recall how I thought people learnt a new language. I've a vague idea I thought people were born with them, as I was a bit puzzled when, at 7, I discovered a relative was learning Russian. Her husband was Russian and he spoke three languages, i had no problem with that, as he had always (in other words since I'd known him) spoken three, but she was learning and explaining Russian words to my mum.

Though this was the age i realised it was the case - obviously my moment of enlightenment!!!

I love this thread 💕

I used to think that when it was cloudy the sun had actually disappeared. I can remember laying in the garden looking at the sky one day, when the clouds moved and the sun appeared! I couldn't believe it was there all the time and the clouds covered it

I also thought that white dog poo (a phenomenon from the heatwave of '76 I believe) came only from white dogs.

For an embarrassingly long time, I thought that oral sex was talking about it.

@OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias oh my god I believed exactly the same until I read your post just now!! I had literally no clue that’s what they were saying! 😆😆 Will have to tell my dad, he won’t believe it!

I was another one who thought you could dig through the ground to other places. I never tried anywhere as far as Australia but my best friend and I spent about four months digging to get to Ireland (from England) when we were about 7. We didn’t have any tools apart from twigs so our hole only got about 30cm deep!

@CombineBananaFister I thought they were little boats!

@bluebellcafe
I thought that all English people dressed either in a uniform or suit as the only ones I ever saw were either soldiers, or government officials/ politicians. I didn’t met a ‘ ordinary’ non authoritarian Englander until I was 12 and on a school trip to London...

Conversely, virtually every Irish person I'd known was either a priest or a nun, so it took me quite a long time as an adult to grow out of the feeling that there was something vaguely holy just about the very fact of being Irish!

My grandad told me the yellow flowers that grow in lots of fields were mustard. I was telling DH this whilst driving to the seaside with the kids. The kids then asked what the yellow fields grew, I thought about it and decided to stick with mustard

I also thought turkeys were mammals and didn’t come from eggs, as when you go shopping you see duck eggs, chicken eggs, goose eggs but never turkey eggs!

My grandad told me the yellow flowers that grow in lots of fields were mustard. I was telling DH this whilst driving to the seaside with the kids. The kids then asked what the yellow fields grew, I thought about it and decided to stick with mustard

Why?

I can't remember any of mine, but DD refused to believe that the country Albania was real for a while, and when they were 12 or 13 DS once convinced her that there was anthrax in cough medicine

When seeing a road sign "Manchester 17" that there were loads of them and the number meant which one you were going to. I was about 14

I thought that the Elgin Marbles were massive spherical glass marbles. Probably at least a metre in diameter with the coloured swirly bit inside.

Biggest disappointment ever when we went to London to see them.

@CrowleysBentley

Because the crop is actually called Rape.