Stupid thing you thought when you were a kid

[glitteryboots]

I'm watching the first episode of Schitt's Creek on Netflix and the boy and girl in it are arguing over who gets what bed in the motel because if someone were to break in they would murder the person in the first bed. I thought the exact same thing when I was a kid - made sure my brother slept in the bed nearest the door because then I thought I was safe. Not an AIBU but what weird things did you think as a kid?

That was for

@OlaEliza

I told a friend, when we were about 9 years old, that you only had to have sex once and you could become pregnant years afterwards.
I worked this out because in old black and white films, the man was always surprised when his wife told him she was having a baby, so I figured it was something that happened much later, if ever, otherwise, why would he be surprised?

I thought that London was a different country and that everyone living there was black.

My dad used to say ‘Somebody’s our 50p in the meter!’ When the lights on the motorway came on.
And, until my now husband told me that somebody didn’t actually sit there with a giant 50p waiting for it to go dark, I thought that was actually somebody’s job.

I also thought we all had a black outline around us, like they do on the Simpsons.

I thought "moorish" was the flavour of Twiglets, because the only time I heard my mum use it was when eating Twiglets.

I was in my twenties before I realised it was actually "moreish" and just meant that you always want more.

Tweetus. You got me thinking about white dog poo again (yes really). After a little research apparently it was because dog food in the 70s had a high calcium content. The poops we saw had any organic matter washed away, just leaving the calcium. They stopped manufacturing it that way after the BSE outbreak. Well I never .....

I thought all black people were from America, because all the black people I saw on TV were

The one about the tide... Isn't that how it works?

@PigletJohn I know it's rapeseed, so why not tell kids that's what it's called?

I could think of no feasible reason why my parents couldn’t turn our conservatory into an indoor swimming pool. I even sketched it out and planned out my birthday pool party. Doh.

When I was little I remember looking at my parents wedding photos with my mum. I asked her why I wasn’t there and she told me I was just “a twinkle in my dad’s eye”! I remember going through pictures of my dad before I was born trying to see the twinkle! Dopey kid!

I thought men farted down their penises

I bet they wish they could.

That when the ice cream van played music it meant they had run out of ice cream

We tried that trick on our children too!

I truly believed that we would all be destroyed by a nuclear bomb at any second. This was in the 80s.

In the mid 60s that was a very real fear, I recall going to school during the Cuban Missile Ciris on the day that the ultimatum was due to expire and we discussed if we would be able to go home that day.

I thought that people on TV programmes were actually inside the TV.

I grew up in the 50s/60s when this wasn't considered unacceptable, my Dad loved watching westerns and if the TV broke down her would tell us it was because it was full of dead Red Indians.

@MumW
That goes with my thinking that the Army cut off your arms. I used to sink down in the car out of sight whenever we saw any military vehicles, and also whenever stopped at the lights near the Kennet Arms pub (on the way to get my Dad from work) . Just in case!

@OlaEliza may well have been mustard back then, especially if in Norfolk area? They are very closely related plants, and mustard is still grown in Norfolk but I believe production has moved elsewhere.

My sister only realised a couple of years ago that dinosaurs were real when she saw bones in a museum. She thought they were mythical creatures and argued with her DH about what was the point putting pretend bones in a museum?! 😂

I misheard 'cemetery' as 'summer tree' and thought all the bodies went under a giant tree.

I thought that trains made a noise because their feet were hurting.

Everyone died at the age of 100. I wrote a poem once with the line 'and when my brother's 98/He'll have 'til death two years to wait.'

And that there were people inside the TV, and that a haggis was a bird with a square head, which is my dad's fault.

That boys pooed out of their penis. In mymdefnce I was from an all female household. I was nursery school age.

Arsenal were called the Bees. (They used to have a yellow and black kit in the early 90s.)

I thought when people went on holiday to other countries that there would be no food or water there as only us British had these luxuries.
I couldn't understand why my Aunt was so excited to be going to Spain. Surely she would die.

TheDogsMother

Re white dog poo

Thanks! I thought it was something to do with the sun bleaching it

Until I was well into my twenties, I thought in every town or city it was someone's job to switch lampposts on at dusk and off again at dawn. In my mind this was done with a big switch, maybe at the electricity board! It wasn't until an ex pointed out that in basic terms they individually work off a light sensor.

‘ ntil I was well into my twenties, I thought in every town or city it was someone's job to switch lampposts on at dusk and off again at dawn’

Actually it sort of was! Lampposts used to have individual timer switches inside and my dad worked as an electrician for the company that had the contract to look after them. He would go around and set the timers, for on and off depending on the time of year/dusk/dawn.