Stupid thing you thought when you were a kid

[glitteryboots]

I'm watching the first episode of Schitt's Creek on Netflix and the boy and girl in it are arguing over who gets what bed in the motel because if someone were to break in they would murder the person in the first bed. I thought the exact same thing when I was a kid - made sure my brother slept in the bed nearest the door because then I thought I was safe. Not an AIBU but what weird things did you think as a kid?

Thanks, Bluebellcafe!

I don't feel quite so dim now, (excuse pun) 😀

Any children who have seen Mary Poppins Returns might be forgiven for thinking it's somebody's job to light the lamps, with the character of Jack the Lamplighter.

(There's also a hapless lamplighter in the story of The Little Prince, who's on a planet which has kept speeding up, so he has to light the lamp and put it out every minute.)

@bluebellcafe I'd forgotten about the timers in lamp posts! If you put your ear to them you could hear them.ticking .

I was brought up in Essex in the 70s and our whole estate was exclusively white. I rarely came across people of Asian or Afro Carribean heritage. I was amazed when we went to visit friends in Leicester and there was an Asian market trader who was speaking in a British accent. I was about 8 or 9 and until then hadn't realised that non-white people weren't always from "abroad"

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

The second ones a,bit macabre, but I thought people were buried actually in the grave stones.

I thought this too, for a time.

Thanks @TheDogsMother I've wondered for years why there was so much white dog poo when I was a kid yet I'd never seen any as an adult.

That getting “cash back” at the supermarket was the store handing you absolutely free cash as a perk for shopping there, and I couldn’t understand why we wouldn’t always ask for £50 cash back.

I was about 8 or 9 and until then hadn't realised that non-white people weren't always from "abroad"

Some people seem to still think this. I was at a party and my friends son, who is mixed race, was asked by someone in their 60s, 'where are you from'. He named the village that he was living in. 'no, where are you from originally?'. 'London'. 'okay, but where are you really from?'

He was born and bred in London (and sounded like it), as was his mother. Her parents were Jamaican.

I had never been to the cinema so when my friends told me about trips to "the pictures" I envisioned each person sitting in an enclosed booth with their own personal tv. I was almost 8 when I finally went to see Star Wars (the original) and I decided the pictures was much better than I'd imagined!

I also thought that white dog poo (a phenomenon from the heatwave of '76 I believe) came only from white dogs.

All dog poo was white when I was growing up in the 50s and 60s. I believe it was because in those days, commercial dog food wasn’t really a thing and people used to give their dogs bones to eat.

That getting “cash back” at the supermarket was the store handing you absolutely free cash as a perk for shopping there, and I couldn’t understand why we wouldn’t always ask for £50 cash back.

My dad is 81 and still thinks this, no matter how many times I have explained it to him over the years...

My mum has always been a big fan of Take-a-Break style magazines which, when I was younger (and probably still do) used to often feature stories about women who were having trouble conceiving but then drank the local water in some town in Italy/Greece/Spain whatever and suddenly became pregnant. I was absolutely terrified that I would end of getting pregnant at age 13 just by drinking water on holiday. I thought my family would disown me and never ever believe that I was actually a virgin. Related to this was the fact that I was often puzzled when hearing of some young pregnant girl who "did something stupid"/"got into trouble"/"brought shame on the family". I always wondered if any of these poor girls had never actually been with a boy but had just unknowingly drank the wrong type of water and were living with the terrible consequences. I couldn't understand why nobody had thought of the more innocent explanations for the pregnancy but remained petrified that it would happen to me. This probably says a LOT about my family's attitude to sex/sex ed growing up.

I remember asking my mum where babies came from. She said:

You go to the doctors, have a talk and then you have an injection.

I suppose from a literal point of view it’s not wrong and perhaps about right for a young ds...

So I’m just thinking it’s a jab in the arm like a doctors injection until quite a few years later

I thought cotton came from sheep.

I thought the waffles you get at the seaside and the fair were potato waffles. I used to feel sick watching people eat them with cream and chocolate sauce. I was fuming when I learnt what they actually were (aged about 15!!) and that I had missed out on them for years. Turns out my parents had no clue I was that stupid

I thought Disney was spelled Disnep (because of the curly handwriting on the logo) and can remember getting quite frustrated with a primary school teacher who tried to correct me.

The Special K Advert, 'For grown up people who'd rather not grown anymore'. I thought it meant if if I, as a child, ate it I would stop growing and remain a child forever more! I was petrified of the stuff!!!

My primary school had a pool building next to the infant playground, but only year 3 onwards were allowed to swim. For 2 years we'd try and peek in but I had no idea what was inside, so for some reason I thought it was full of individual baths all full of bubble bath with soap and stuff! I think from seeing soap adverts. Was very disappointed when I found out was a pool really was.

I can remember thinking that married couples had sex all night every night. I can remember being baffled as to when they got to sleep.

"I thought Disney was spelled Disnep".. Me too 😂 it confused the hell out of me for years!

I did as well on the Disnep thing!

We where in rural Ireland and where told that babies "came from god". I could not understand why everyone was so upset when my 19 year old single cousin got pregnant. I said to my mum " it's not her fault that his sent her a baby"

My grandparents are farmers and as a child I used to think that black and white cows made light cheese only and red/brown cows made red/orange cheese only

Also, as a really small child (think 5/6) I remember my mum giving me a guitar that she told me was her's as a child, and I absolutely couldn't believe that my mum was little once! I thought she just appeared one day as an adult woman, even though I was aware that my nana is her mother

I also thought that her younger brother MUST have been older because he was much taller!

There are so many more.....

I thought that my shoes and clothes actually got too small for me, rather than me getting too big. I can remember the day when the truth clicked into place and I felt so embarrassed - I was probably 8 or 9 by then.

I used to think people's birthdays chznged every year.

That God used the sun as his car. He used to follow us when we were driving