Stupid thing you thought when you were a kid

[glitteryboots]

I'm watching the first episode of Schitt's Creek on Netflix and the boy and girl in it are arguing over who gets what bed in the motel because if someone were to break in they would murder the person in the first bed. I thought the exact same thing when I was a kid - made sure my brother slept in the bed nearest the door because then I thought I was safe. Not an AIBU but what weird things did you think as a kid?

That countries were on top of each other and the sky of one country was another’s sea. Based on people saying things like North America is above South America. I thought when it rained there was a leak in the sea. I was about 10 when I asked my mum why the water didn’t fall on us and she explained it

I also thought that my father had started the Second World War and had been sent to prison because of it. He was a German POW ...

I also used to think that eating prawns could give you appendicitis because they were just the right shape to get lodged in your appendix. My mum, who was a nurse, told me this (I now realise as a joke) but I only realised it wasn't true when I declared it to my year 9 biology class 🤦‍♀️

Inexplicably, I thought that boiled eggs came in "hard boiled" and "cold boiled" varieties.

@20wedding19 Are you Jennifer from the book "Digging to Australia", by Lesley Glaister?

@Midorimomo That sounds like the idea that loose toothbrush bristles made your appendix go bad, as told to young Roald Dahl by his nanny. Mind you, a relative of mine once ate prawns without taking the heads, tails and skin off, and she ended up in hospital, so perhaps it's not far off!

@cardibach and @Snooks1971 I'll have to check my book about the history of the alphabet, but I think W is one of the later letters to arrive in the alphabet, so once upon a time it wasn't a proper letter. With Latin words such as "equus" (horse), the double U there has a W sound. J is also a latecomer; the book says that Dr Johnson was adamant it was not really a proper letter, merely a derivative of I. The French don't think much of W: it's very rare in French, and Braille (designed by a Frenchman) originally had no W.

That black pudding was to black pigs what regular sausage was to pink pigs.

I used to think that there was a man sat in a tiny shed/hut on every street who waited each day to turn the street lights on and off at the right time using a big button (think Xmas lights switch in style). The fact that I never saw said sheds/huts didn't seem to cross my mind!

I thought that losing your hair was a symptom of cancer, rather than a side effect of treatment. It was through watching Neighbours as a young teen that I realised the truth!

My father had been in Africa (possibly Nigeria) during the war and he told me rhinos would charge tanks. For years I thought they might attack our house (in West Yorkshire) and I didn’t like going upstairs in case they might be hiding in the landing. I guess I’m really fucked up because I still don’t like them, Whipsnade was a nightmare. And I was about 40.

For years afterwards, I had a visual image of a child trying to concentrate on colouring in, while an adult kept grabbing the pencils.

I thought that ‘sexual abuse’ was when boys said things like ‘girls are rubbish’.

@WineAndTiramisu I love that. Such innocence.

soupforbrains and Midorimomo.
Hopefully this works...

For many years I believed that Timbuhktu was next to Aberystwyth!! We were on a caravan park when I was very young, maybe 5 or 6 and kept pestering my DDad to take me up a big hill nearby, so I could see what was on the other side. I remember clearly asking for the umpteenth time ‘but whats on the other side?’ and him answering ‘Timbhuktu’
And I believed that to be so... well into adulthood!!

I thought tripe was a type of fish. Also that God's name was Peter, as in church I misheard "Thanks be to God" as "Thanks, Peter God", we attended weekly and i misheard this for years until i finally asked my mum about it.

I thought tripe was fish too (sounds similar to trout?).

I thought poo, wee, and babies all came out of the same hole.

I thought children were only related to their mother, the dad had nothing to do with it. The woman would just get spontaneously pregnant.

I thought numbers only went up to 19. I’ve been 19 for a LONG TIME.

When we die, we go to Devon. Could be worse.

Oh I thought cooked mushrooms were a sort of delicious organ meat.

@PixieRabbit I think I used to confuse it as a mixture of pike and trout

That the Mum in the Fairy Washing up liquid advent was an evil bitch because she bought Fairy instead of the cheaper stuff, meaning her son had to wait longer before he got the bottle to make a rocket. I couldn’t work out why it was supposed to be a good thing that it lasted so long.

That America was full of people who looked like the beautiful people in movies

I truly believed that we would all be destroyed by a nuclear bomb at any second. This was in the 80s.

Not really a stupid idea, most people thought that.

My mum believed that only male cats can be ginger, she was for ever telling one of the neighbour's children that 'no your cat isn't a girl, all ginger cats are boys'.

Until the little girl turned up and said, "My mum says can you come to our house to see the kittens my cat has just had?"

I only learned recently that you can get male tortoiseshell cats, I learned that from a vet nurse who had only just found out that week.

I once thought boobs were actually babies heads

That having your appendix out resulted in you having to wear glasses (in my defence, the only 2 people I knew who had had their appendix out had started wearing glasses shortly afterward).

And that DFather had been born after DUncle, but had then caught up and overtaken so that he was then older. DF told me this, and still thinks it's hilarious that we (yep, convinced DSis as well) believed him.

My dad has me believing that our car was so fabulous, that the moon followed us wherever we went!

My ex thought I had to take my tampon out to wee. He was in his 30’s!

TheNestedIf you've reminded me. When I was tiny I went to a childminder and there was much excitement when her friend across the road adopted a little 'coloured' girl. I was very disappointed when we met her for the first time and she wasn't all shades of purple and green. She also had bunk beds too which were the source of endless entertainment!