Bride not allowing children to abroad wedding...

[Chokedwiththecold]

Now, I know how this sounds, but I can't help being a bit annoyed about it.

I know that I don't Need to go.

My best friend is getting married this year abroad. Its over the school holidays so the price of the flights and accommodation is absolutely sooooo expensive. We are a very close girl group of 7 of us and 3 of us will have new born babies by the time the wedding comes around. Wedding was only booked a few months ago. Anyway, what's annoying me is the bride has said no kids allowed. I totally understand that people don't want kids at a wedding but I'm feeling really sad about not having to bring my baby as is our other friends. I don't see what difference it would make either. It's not like the would be running around making noise etc. I feel like I might not go but when I mentioned this she seemed so annoyed. I honestly don't know if I should go or not. I'm on the fence. My baby will be 5 months old.

Am I being unreasonable to think she's maybe being a little but unreasonable about this and she could have just allowed her best friends with their children.?

Thanks for listening to my rant.

@Leighhalfpennysthigh The child is about 2 I think. They live in France and my partner doesn't see them often. Not estranged, just not close. I don't really have a relationship with his daughter and not looking for one.
Why else am I'm supposed to call it? The brat? The thing? The sprig?

I think it's very clear that there is a lot more going on here. Your feelings towards your partner's child and grandchild are very disturbing, and your original claim that it was all his decision and that he doesn't want his daughter or grandchild at his wedding are disingenuous.

I would be distraught if my parent met and married someone who held me and my children in such contempt.

Ynbu to not go. You do not have to jump through someone else wedding hoops to prove you are a worthy friend.

I love a wedding abroad. I took my baby with me and paid for childcare for a few hours within the hotel. There are solutions

I can't believe in these days of climate change, a couple would get married abroad needing 150 other people to fly needlessly too - for that alone she is being unreasonable.

Many people will not want to leave their child with a random childcarer that they have never met before.

I simply would not attend. Tara, good luck all the best see you when you're back.

I wouldn’t go not a chance!!! I wouldn’t even feel very bad about it, as others have said her wedding her choice but it’s perfectly reasonable for you to sit it out with such a young baby and no kids allowed. Plus aside from that as such an expensive trip, you would want to have your husband and child with you anyway as if you are spending so much money it might mean you can’t do anything else as a family this year also. Don’t mind her if she gets annoyed she is entitled to be disappointed but surely she knew this would happen! I can assure you you won’t be the only one declining!!!❤️

Why would a wedding be RUINED by wailing babies? A baby is life, family, I have never understood this child free thing. If the parents would rather leave the child behind fine I never ever thought of saying to someone they couldn't bring their kids. But then I got married in Southern Europe, much more family oriented by far.

Nope, I wouldn't have left my 5 month old to go to a wedding abroad. I went to 3 weddings while my baby was under 1, and all allowed "babes in arms" but not children.

She is perfectly entitled to say no kids at wedding but if it's abroad she can't reasonably expect that many people will be able to go. Maybe that's why she's doing it - to keep numbers down?
I definitely wouldn't go and leave a small baby to go abroad. If it was for a day or two in this country then yes (providing I wasn't breast feeding) but otherwise definitely not.

Why would a wedding be RUINED by wailing babies?

Is this a serious question?

@ScarlettBlaize you carry on making things up to suit yourself. In the real world people can get on fine without wanting close relationships.

I wouldn’t leave a 5 month old to go to a wedding in the same town, never mind abroad. She cannot get upset if she books a wedding abroad and makes it no kids and people decline the invite, I seriously think some brides need to be sat down and told that their friends are not props for their perfect wedding photos.

YABU it's her wedding, however she is unreasonable to be annoyed with you for not wanting to go because of that

@Leighhalfpennysthigh I’m with @ScarlettBlaize, the way you phrase this sounds very cold.

She is not being unreasonable as it is her choice (and DH) for her wedding. If you cant decide what you want at your wedding (or funeral) then it's a v poor show indeed ...

... but obviously the consequence will be that many people with children will be unable to go and that's fine too.

Wish the couple well and every happiness and just look forward to seeing the photos etc.

I’m with @ScarlettBlaize, the way you phrase this sounds very cold

Lol. To quote my teenage niece whatever.

Your wedding your choice. Shame some brides are so wrapped up in themselves that they forget that they have friends who they will want to speak to them after the wedding.

@Leighhalfpennysthigh Lol. To quote my teenage niece whatever.

Deliberately alienating your new partner from his children and grandchildren isn't funny.

Will your teenage niece be at your wedding?

I should imagine lots of people are having the same conversations as you.

But hey at least she will be living her best life!

@Leighhalfpennysthigh ScarlettBlaize you carry on making things up to suit yourself. In the real world people can get on fine without wanting close relationships.

None of it 'suits me' - it's not my life. In the real world, people don't generally exclude their own children and grandchildren from their weddings.
You seem to be relishing your role in destroying their relationship.

Just don't complain when he ages and potentially his health declines that they don't give a shit. It's happened in our family. The SM bitches that the children never called once when they're father was in hospital.

They don't care. He didn't nurture the relationship when he was able. They don't see the point now he's got nothing to give.

Leigh Tbh I bet your dil isn’t even arsed about attending your wedding. Your husband to be sounds like a right knobber. Take heed on how he treats other people - because eventually you will get treated the same. It always happens.

Oh fucks sake wish I hadn't mentioned it now but - my partner is not close to his daughter. Hasn't been for years since he and her mother split up. They are civil and get on ok but both view each other as some kind of distant relative. He has met her child once in two years. It's not my business how they conduct their relationship.
We are having a child free wedding because we want a quiet and fairly small wedding. My teenage nieces and grown up nephews may well come, but it will depend on what they are doing and where they are at the time. At least two will be at university and both of those are planning on being the opposite end of the country to where we will be marrying.
If none of them make it then that's fine. It's the marriage that matters but we do not and will not ever live in each other's pockets and I'm definitely not viewing myself and any type of step mother. He deals with his family. I deal with mine. Surely that's the MN way