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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you know you snore, don't sleep on a coach?

162 replies

sazapple · 21/02/2020 19:23

I might be being unreasonable.

Just got back from a three hour coach journey. A guy to the left of me was snoring the WHOLE way. It was one of those horrible snores, it made me feel quite sick 🤮. His wife didn't say anything or nudge him.

I know he could well have had health issues that make him snore. But Aibu to think that ypu shouldn't plan on sleeping in a small space if you snore that loud. Or whoever your with should wake you? I'm pretty sure that this was their only travel today and they arnt jet lagged or anything.

I may be being precious!

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 22/02/2020 10:24

If he was on his own, YABU.

As he wasn't, his wife should have kept waking him up.

SagaBauer · 22/02/2020 10:31

YANBU I can't believe his wife didn't give him a poke. I'd be mortified if I snored like that in public, it is inconsiderate and antisocial regardless of whether he can help it or not.

HazelBite · 22/02/2020 10:43

The only unreasonable one here is his wife. DH is a snorer and if he ever falls asleeep in public gets a hefty dig to the ribs and is absolutely mortified that strangers witnessed his snort.
The OP is not unreasonable there are certain things that some of us are sensitive to, with me it's smells, I am very sensitive to smells cannot bear to be near someone who has been eating onions, and I have to move if someone near me farts! Like the OP I feel phyiscally sick.

tallah · 22/02/2020 10:49

If he needs to sleep he needs to sleep. I have people who moan about snorers (because I am one) it's actually horrible knowing you snore but doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed to sleep ffs!!

tallah · 22/02/2020 10:50

If he needs to sleep he needs to sleep. I HATE people who moan about snorers (because I am one) it's actually horrible knowing you snore but doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed to sleep ffs!!

FreyaMountstuart · 22/02/2020 11:11

My DH snores - if he falls asleep on public transport he gets a quick dig to ensure he stops (or better still doesn’t start!) for the benefit of everyone!

He’s snoring on the sofa but I’m letting him carry on atm!

FreyaMountstuart · 22/02/2020 11:12

Sorry - meant to add YANBU!

Butchyrestingface · 22/02/2020 11:16

I’m tended to agree, @sazapple. Although perhaps a 3 hour coach journey isn’t the most egregious example you could have come up with.

An overnight coach/train journey now, there’s a special rung in bad fire reserved for these people. 🔫

And earplugs have limited efficacy.

saraclara · 22/02/2020 11:17

His wife was unreasonable not to give him a nudge. If he'd been travelling alone, it would have been easier for other passengers to have 'accidentally' roused him slightly.

I snore now that I'm older, so have stopped staying in hostel dorms etc. But I do have to take long haul flights and VERY long local bus journeys alone. If the person next to me speaks English, I warn them and give them permission to nudge or wake me if I snore.

Witchend · 22/02/2020 11:27

Dh sleeps when he travels and he snores when he sleeps sitting up.
I poke him in the ribs frequently when I drive.
I say to him that I don't mind driving but driving listening to him snoring is the line I draw. Grin

shumway · 22/02/2020 11:31

YANBU. The other day I was in the library and a man was snoring. Another man patted him on the arm and asked him to stop. I nearly cheered.

PinkGinAndTacos · 22/02/2020 11:37

I always take a tablet with a few films downloaded from Netflix for coach journeys. Decent headphones. Then you can block other people out easily.

katielilly · 22/02/2020 11:46

YANBU

PegasusReturns · 22/02/2020 11:52

This happened to me on a 10 hour night flight recently. The man snored so loud I could hear him over my in ear earphones which were on red.

The young children in the family next to him and the pregnant lady behind me were crying with exhaustion and frustration.

It was awful. The air stewards wouldn’t do anything except repeatedly apologise to us. I did say that after 5 hours it seemed reasonable to wake him and let the others in the cabin get some sleep.

lostinleaves · 22/02/2020 11:57

The young children in the family next to him and the pregnant lady behind me were crying with exhaustion and frustration.

Did you ask them why they were crying?

PegasusReturns · 22/02/2020 12:03

Did you ask them why they were crying?

I heard the mother explaining to the air stewardess that her children needed to sleep and asking if there was anything that could be done.

The pregnant woman behind me and I had quite a long chat, she was particularly frustrated as the crew who had told her that they couldn’t wake the man suggested she could if she wanted to. They made the same suggestion to me.

PegasusReturns · 22/02/2020 12:08

In fact by the end of ten hours there was a remarkable sense of camaraderie in the cabin. After about three hours people had given up trying to sleep and were walking about chatting (and complaining).

I have literally never heard anything like it - so so selfish!

lostinleaves · 22/02/2020 12:24

After about three hours people had given up trying to sleep and were walking about chatting (and complaining).

So equally disturbing for others then ?

FlamingoAndJohn · 22/02/2020 12:25

I have literally never heard anything like it - so so selfish!

He wasn’t doing it purposely you know. It’s not like a child playing a noisy iPad game or someone shouting a conversation with their friend. He had no idea he was snoring.
Why didn’t any of you actually wake him up rather than moaning and crying?

TSSDNCOP · 22/02/2020 12:33

Why on earth is it his wife’s responsibility to police his snoring?

PegasusReturns · 22/02/2020 12:37

@lostinleaves as I said after three or so hours everyone else had given up. There was no one in the cabin asleep or trying to get to sleep. There was no one else to be disturbed and even if there were I can easily block out a conversation with my noise cancelling head phones the snoring not so much. So I’d hardly call it “equally disturbing” Hmm

PegasusReturns · 22/02/2020 12:41

@FlamingoAndJohn

I don’t care if he wasn’t doing it purposely. If you snore louder that a pneumatic drill then you are aware that is an issue. Most reasonable people take steps to ensure they don’t adversely affect others. He could have chosen to do that by

i) asking the crew to wake him if he was noisy
ii) drinking less before he got on plane
iii) setting an alarm to wake him after a few hours
iv) lying his seat flat

PointlessAddict · 22/02/2020 12:45

YANBU

I hate noise of any kind on public transport, that’s why I always have earphones

PegasusReturns · 22/02/2020 12:45

I can’t speak for others but I didn’t wake him because he was a stranger, a huge bear of a man with whom I was shut in a confined space and would continue to be so had I woken him.

I had no idea how he would react and I’m inclined to think if you’re selfish enough to not take steps to mitigate the disruption you might cause then you might react unpredictably and as a petite woman I didn’t want to take that risk.

Not unreasonably I imagine that most people felt the same although I didn’t conduct a MORI poll Hmm

FlamingoAndJohn · 22/02/2020 12:45

Or, you could have woken him up.

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