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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

437 replies

Refreshed · 21/02/2020 12:11

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
JosefKeller · 21/02/2020 13:18

Waistcoats and bow ties only allowed if you’re a page boy?
they shouldn't be allowed on any child, who likes the chav look in real life?

SilverySurfer · 21/02/2020 13:19

She's being ridiculous. I would respond 'yes I do mind and if you can't trust me to not dress my son in an outfit which may indicate that he is a part of the wedding party, perhaps it would be best if we don't come at all. Think about what you are asking. Do you seriously believe I would do that!?'

nonetcurtains · 21/02/2020 13:19

How old is your son? I'm guessing toddler but secretly hoping he's a 14yr old goth.

Fr0g · 21/02/2020 13:21

sounds a bit strange to ask you to style bridesmaid and pageboys if your son isnt one of them?

Original poster
Refreshed · 21/02/2020 13:21

Just for clarification, no I'm not an outlandish person when it comes to dressing DS. He always looks great, I put a lot of effort into choosing his clothes etc. Out style is understated and classic so nothing out there.

I am not a bitch of any type. I would never try to make a show of myself so no idea where all of this stems from

OP posts:
Wheresthebeach · 21/02/2020 13:22

Don't fall out over something silly, not attending the wedding is a massive overreaction. Just tell her what you're planning to dress your DS in, check she's okay with it.

MelAndShoe · 21/02/2020 13:23

Dress him in a wedding dress

JosefKeller · 21/02/2020 13:23

sounds a bit strange to ask you to style bridesmaid and pageboys if your son isnt one of them?

why?

user68901 · 21/02/2020 13:24

and who would give a toss if one of the guests were to think he might be part of the wedding party anyway. What a load of nonsense!

foodandwine89 · 21/02/2020 13:26

so strange I think you need to call her and then update us

Dontdisturbmenow · 21/02/2020 13:26

I would have taken it that you have a habit of dressing your DS very nicely hence asking about dressing the others and she doesn't know how to say that your 'normal' dressing for him is what the others will likely look like, hence the potential confusion.

In a way, it's a compliment and understanding that she wants to avoid the confusion if the others are say only family, so not to make other friends think you also asked him to be part of the party but not her other friends kids.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 21/02/2020 13:29

Let him wear a ballet costume or perhaps a pirate costume! (Just following the trend put forward by @GreenTulips.

In all honesty, send her back the 🤷🏼‍♀️ emoji or maybe 🙉 (monkey emoji covering its ears)

Merryoldgoat · 21/02/2020 13:29

and who would give a toss if one of the guests were to think he might be part of the wedding party anyway. What a load of nonsense!

Well precisely!

I had a black tie wedding - any number of women could’ve been a bridesmaid and all the men were in DJs - who gives a fuck? I just don’t get it.

HillAreas · 21/02/2020 13:30

It sounds like she’s gone bridezilla - wildly overestimating the extent to which guests will notice or care about the minutiae of her big day which she has been agonising over for the last two years.
I’d go easy on her and try to smooth it over but certainly not give way on this if it came to it. Too far!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 21/02/2020 13:30

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily - 100% agree with your proposed outfit including the ringlets!

JKScot4 · 21/02/2020 13:31

@JosefKeller
A bow tie and waistcoat on a child is chav?
Since when?

woooooo · 21/02/2020 13:34

Gosh I have so many sarcastic replies I would LOVE to respond with if this had happened to me, I'd have to 🙊

Unless you have form for dressing your son as Little Lord Fontleroy for weddings, she is being a massive CF.

Raindancer411 · 21/02/2020 13:37

Have you seen what she has suggested out of interest?

simplekindoflife · 21/02/2020 13:39

If she's usually quite sane, she might just be having a mad moment in crazy wedding fog or someone might be stirring it up.

"Friend, of course I won't dress ds in anything that'll interfere with your wedding party outfits. Send me a pic of what the page boys wearing and I'll avoid those styles/colours etc."

Her choosing an outfit for him is completely bonkers though and I wouldn't even acknowledge that!

attatiti · 21/02/2020 13:39

He always looks great, I put a lot of effort into choosing his clothes etc. Out style is understated and classic so nothing out there.

Hmm, need more detail. Exactly what was DS wearing at the last wedding you took him too?

Icecreamdiva · 21/02/2020 13:41

This sounds like someone else (her mum or MIL?) has been going on at her, hence the monkey emoji - she knows how mental it sounds and is embarrassed. Text her back and ask to meet up for coffee/wine and a chat about it. I’m sure the two of you will work it out.

Scrumptiousbears · 21/02/2020 13:44

You just need to pick the phone up and ask her what's it's about.

I was a bridesmaid when I was a kid and 2, yes 2 people bought their kids to the wedding in bridesmaid dresses they'd previously worn at others weddings. People were asking how comes the bridesmaid a had different dresses.

WeAllHaveWings · 21/02/2020 13:44

Our style is understated and classic so nothing out there.

Need an example of what you would dress him in. 'Classic' could mean anything.

Getoutofbed25 · 21/02/2020 13:46

I’d text back......I’ll return his white dress then! 👍🏼 👰🏼

maras2 · 21/02/2020 13:50

Is she on glue? Shock