To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

[Refreshed]

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

Say he won’t be in the same colours etc as wedding party and with you so unlikely to be mistaken as part of it.

Bridezilla alert

Mad. What’s wrong with dressing a baby/small child in a cute shirt and bow tie anyway? I’ve put my DS in that for weddings, he doesn’t remotely look like he’s in the bridal party.

I wouldn’t not go to the wedding but I’d be telling her not to be so bridezilla and say you’ve already bought him something so no she can’t choose what he wears.

She is worried your son is going to get attention because of how he is dressed.
I find it odd that someone cares so much about what a child wears to their wedding. I would just reply and say I already have his clothes sorted, he isn’t matching the wedding party so no need to worry and see what she comes back with.

He's your DS, put him in what you want. It's none of her business.

YANBU to want to tell her that you will dress your own child in clothes of your choosing and that you don't need her help vetting them!

YWBU to not go to the wedding because of this one message.

Sensibly you should give her a call and say that as you have helped style the rest of the bridal party you are well aware of what everyone is wearing and will ensure that your son will not be in clothes that would give anyone that impression but you will not let her vet your choices in the same way that she has no input into what anyone else attending the wedding wears.

so what kind of outfit is she expecting?
you know how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him this is just rubbish, she obviously doesn't think you dress him lovely

what would you put him in?

I don't think I'd not go at all based on that txt, but I wouldn't be able to resist calling her out on it as it's a bit bridezilla

That's silly, who would even be watching what he's wearing. I'd either go all out and dress him in a tuxedo or I'd put him in a tracksuit.

Tell her he wants to be a mini bride and will have a copy of her dress.

I wouldn't let her choose my Ds clothes, that's ridiculous. You'd think she would have better things to do at this stage than have to pick an outfit for a friend's Ds I'd text back 'Thanks but no thanks - I am perfectly capable of choosing Johns clothes for the wedding'
As you are styling the bridal party kids she might think you'll just buy the same for your Ds.

send her a photo of a mini Elton John (full feather boa/outsized glases) outfit and say you were thinking of that. Or a T-Rex costume.

Tell her to breathe a bit and either trust you or not trust you, but "not trust" = you're abandoning all ideas and thoughts about the wedding and not going

Don’t reply with another message. It just drags it out. Phone her and say, nicely, “I’m confused about your text?”
That’s it.
Let her explain it and go from there.

So much these days in the way of people falling out could be avoided if people actually picked up the phone instead of back and forths via text.

I’d be utterly speechless to receive that message, I must say - your taste is good enough to dress the bridesmaids and page boys but can’t be relied on to judge what’s appropriate for your own child?! - but if you pause for a moment then I think it’s likely that she really didn’t intend it how it’s come across. The best way to find that out though is to ring her, or meet up with her, and ask. Another message will only compound the issue.

What do you mean you are “styling” the flower girls and pageboys? You chose their clothes? Why didn’t the bride do that? And if you chose their clothes, why does she want to choose your son’s clothes? 🤯 Is this what weddings are like now?

Speak to her directly. I would work on the assumption that someone has wound her up and she is worrying about lots of “what if’s” that aren’t ever going to happen.

Don’t fall out over something this daft.

Is it possible that someone else has been shit-stirring? Maybe someone has said "What if @Refreshed dresses her son in the same things as the pageboys and tries to pass him off as part of the wedding party?"

I think @BiscuitBarrels and the previous posters who have suggested ringing her and having a sensible conversation with her about the text, are right.

"Hi, BrideFriend - I got your text, and was a bit perplexed - you have no need to worry about what DS will be wearing - I'll make absolutely sure it's nothing like the pageboys."

Agree with biscuitbarell...have a verbal conversation about the text!!

This made me laugh. In the extremely unlikely event you dress him so well and so similar to the bridal party that someone thinks he's part of it, I can't work out why this is an issue. She seems to be thinking that a little kid smartly dressed who looks like he might be part of it is the same as MIL turning up in a white dress with a veil and a train!? It's so bizarre. It's nt like he's going to be photobombing the official photos!?

I'd also call her. if you can't bring yourself to do so, text back you don't 'understand as obviously DS won't be dressed like the rest of the bridal party.

[ps, most of the children at my wedding turned up looking like flower girls and page boys. Can't say I gave it a moment's thought except to think it was amusing how much little kids love that kind of dress up.]

the MONKEY emoji speaks volumes... She knows she's being a TWAT ... I'd tell her that you will not be under-dressing your DS... and if it's an issue please say now... so you can politely decline the invite... and give her time to find another guest to invite..

I would text back, Bridezilla is that you?
No way would she be choosing my son's clothes.

Just send back that monkey emoji.

Can I just say as a newly engaged person I really hope I don't get this crazy heading up to the wedding.

So pissing what if people do think he's part of the wedding party. As long as they don't think he's the bride or groom who gives a shit

So she wants you to style her bridesmaids and pageboys, but not dress your own child??

I'd text back saying "Oh dear, are you having a bridal meltdown? do you need wine?? fancy asking if you can dress my son lol". And send a line of the monkey emojis after it.

Yeah she’s gone ‘wedding mental’. Some people become totally self-obsessed around their wedding, forgetting no one else really cares about it.

I’m voting for the tackling-her-head-on approach to A.) make her squirm and B.) help her understand she’s gone bonkers.

Phone her, ask her what her text meant and ask her if she’s really suggesting you’d try to match your son to the wedding party.

I bet it was a thought that popped into her head at a weird time and now she’s convinced herself you’d do something like that and has sent a faux-polite message about something completely random, but which for some reason is a big deal in her head.

This seems so odd. Do you usually dress your son in OTT outfits?