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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

437 replies

Refreshed · 21/02/2020 12:11

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Bbq1 · 21/02/2020 14:38

That's pretty insulting asking you to dress your ds in "something basic". The cheek of it. I would be calling her up asking her exactly what she's getting at then tell her it's a wedding and you will dress ds appropriately and as you see fit. Then, dress him up as much as you want on the day. My ds was a guest at my bestf's wedding, one of only two children invited. He was 7 at the time and wore a shirt, dress pants, a tie and waistcoat and looked really cute and my bf loved it.

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 21/02/2020 14:43

So let me get this right..

You have styled her bridal party, but she wants to dress your son?

This is bonkers, even where MN wedding threads are concerned.. I can't wait to see how she replies!!

Echobelly · 21/02/2020 14:47

I don't think there's any need to give OP the inquisition about what her son has worn to dos in the past, I'm sure she is acting in good faith, it's not like boys could really wear anything that ott to a wedding.

It sounds possible to me like maybe bride has a friend/rel with boy/s in wedding party (maybe similar age to OP's) who has heard her talk about how nice op's son has looked is for some reason really determined that their DS is the only boy who is going to look darling in his dear little suit, and thus has laid it on how no other boy should be dressed as smartly if he's not in wedding party. Or some such bs.

Honestly, I had a single flower girl only at my wedding in a party dress, not even a full bm dress and it didn't occur to me to worry that someone else's daughter might outdo her somehow Hmm

Puzzledandpissedoff · 21/02/2020 14:49

Tell her he wants to be a mini bride and will have a copy of her dress

*Deathraystare" wins the thread Grin

whatareyoucooking · 21/02/2020 14:51

Hmmm I'd like to see an example of the kind of clothes you would normally dress DS in.

Tbh at that age I can't imagine putting all that thought and effort into my son's outfit as a wedding guest. Probably chinos, white shirt and bow tie/tie and vans Grin

C'mon tell us what he'd usually wear

AryaStarkWolf · 21/02/2020 14:52

Have you replied OP?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/02/2020 14:52

Put him in a bridesmaid dress or a crocodile costume

We must share a braincell Tulips . . . I was thinking"crocodile costume" too.

Grin

OP - what god-awful outfit does she want him to wear?

bingbangbing · 21/02/2020 14:54

Definitely a dinosaur costume! Please send him in a dinosaur costume!

Seriously, my reply to her would literally be:

Eh? You gone daft?

Pilot12 · 21/02/2020 14:56

She doesn't want your son to look like he's in the bridal party. If she has friends with little girls she may be asking that they don't come dressed looking like flower girls/bridesmaids. I don't think this is unreasonable, it's no different from asking guests not to wear white.

justmyview · 21/02/2020 14:56

Your friend's message is bizarre, but I'm thinking there must be a reason for it. What exactly did your DS wear for the last wedding he attended? I'm guessing it must have been eye catching , even if you thought it was smart / classic

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/02/2020 14:58

How old is your DS?

Could there be a danger of him being mistaken for the groom?

AnneKipanki · 21/02/2020 15:00

How about Elvis ?

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 21/02/2020 15:00

The problem is, there’s really not that many options for boys clothes in terms of formal wear. It’s pretty much trousers/waistcoat in grey or navy and a shirt. Tie or bow tie optional. And considering there are only a limited number of shops (ie next, m&s) that sell these kind of clothes there’s a large chance some young Male guests will be wearing the same as the pageboys anyway, unless she’s getting stuff custom made! I don’t get how she thinks she can control it!
I wouldn’t not go though, that’s petty if she’s a good friend.

fromagefreak · 21/02/2020 15:05

That would really piss me off and that monkey thing makes my blood boil.

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 21/02/2020 15:06

That's mad. Tell her he'll wear jeans and a hoodie in that case.

The message is so strange, especially "something basic" - Asda track pants and a plain white t-shirt from a 3 pack?

I agree if you're close friends phone her and make a joke of it - if she can't laugh at herself she's in line for a bridezilla prize.

Zombiemum1946 · 21/02/2020 15:09

She's maybe just not thinking about how the wording of the text has come across. Basic to me would mean simply smart trousers and shirt. Have a gentle chat with her. Sounds like a misunderstanding. If you've had input to the wedding you stress are maybe a bit up as well. Hope it works out well. Would be a shame to fall out over a potential misunderstanding.

MadameMeursault · 21/02/2020 15:12

Put him in a football kit, and yourself in a wedding dress!

Floribundance · 21/02/2020 15:13

Chinos, shirt, jumper. Not that hard. You don’t need to make boys wear suits, waistcoats or ties unless they’re part of the wedding party.

Gadgnkk · 21/02/2020 15:15

Really really weird request from her. So totally inconsequential. She must have nothing to do if she thinks of something so obscure as who onlookers might mistake for a page boy (and why anyone would give a shit!).

I would say, sure he can wear something basic and ask her whether anything he currently owns will do. If she wants him in something basic, why has she got to choose it? Fucking narcissist.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 21/02/2020 15:17

How old is your DS?
Could there be a danger of him being mistaken for the groom?

This thread just keeps getting better and better - but then Schadenfreude can usually be relied on for a corker Grin

Carcasonnenewbie · 21/02/2020 15:17

OP I would text back with

“I know your probably having wedding nerves so I’m going to ignore that completely Bat shit request’ with added 😂😂 laughing faces.

Don’t engage with this.

Herpesfreesince03 · 21/02/2020 15:18

I think the issue is pretty obvious here. She’s not actually worried about him being mistaken for the bridal party (because who cares if he does). She’s worried he’s going to be NICER dressed than the other boys in the bridal party and she feels he’ll show them up

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/02/2020 15:18

Go with Kipanki's Elvis - the Judge Judy look isn't a good one for a wedding.