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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?

437 replies

Refreshed · 21/02/2020 12:11

The bride to be has asked me via text today if she can ask a favour (complete with that annoying monkey emoji with its hands covering its face)

She asked if I would mind just putting my DS in something basic she picks out for him, as she knows how I have the best ideas and how lovely I dress him and doesn't want him mistaken for the wedding party.

I have no idea what she's going on about. A few other friends have been invited to the wedding and they've received no such texts about their DC clothes! I find it so bizarre.

Would I be unreasonable not to go now? It's in March.

She asked me to style her flower girls and paige boys. She know full well I wouldn't dress my own child in the same as them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
AnneOfTeenFables · 21/02/2020 13:01

If you weren't going to dress him inappropriately then I don't understand why this would worry you. Obviously she's panicking that there's been crossed wires because you're helping to dress the other DCs. All you need to do is reassure her. Cancelling attending the wedding makes it seem like you were planning to dress your DS the same. Confused

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 21/02/2020 13:01

I would agree to not falling out but she does need to be firmly told she has overstepped.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 21/02/2020 13:01

The monkey emoji could be used as a cue for fancy dress. Maybe not a monkey, but could you dress him in a giant banana suit?

Purplestorm83 · 21/02/2020 13:01

I agree with a pp who said it sounds like someone has been shit stirring. It must have been quite difficult for her to send that text (hence the clumsy wording and silly emoji), she has probably been worrying about it for a while - I think a phone call is the best solution. Sorry she has been so rude to you, I would be pissed off too, but it sounds like she didn’t mean it to come across like that.

Hoppinggreen · 21/02/2020 13:02

Take him in the cheapest nastiest shell suit you can find and shove him to the front of every photo

itsgettingweird · 21/02/2020 13:03

My betting is someone has put an idea in her head and has encouraged her to text this. Hence the emoji.

I'd respond as if that's the case anyway.

"Haha haha. Come on - who put you up to this one? But don't worry. Ds cerise suit is very basic in style"

Stompythedinosaur · 21/02/2020 13:04

I'd text back "I don't understand why you want to pick ds' clothes? I obviously won't dress him like the wedding party."

And see what she says.

JasonBrun · 21/02/2020 13:06

This is such a strange request!

Standrewsschool · 21/02/2020 13:08

Have you been discussing what you were planning to dress DS in? Did she consider it to be too smart?

Perhaps someone has asked her whether your DS is part of the wedding party, and she’s having a mad five minute panic.

poopbear · 21/02/2020 13:08

Hahaha I think I’d reply “sorry. I’m a bit confused by your message and the monkey? Are you saying you want me to dress him up as a monkey? I don’t have any monkey fancy dress in his age range. I was just going to put him a shirt and trousers that match what I’m wearing” deliberately misunderstand. Then see what she writes back and post it on here.

Nanny0gg · 21/02/2020 13:08

I'd send a photo of him in trackie bottoms, tatty t shirt and grubby trainers and ask if that was ok?

KahlanRahl · 21/02/2020 13:09

I think someone talked to her that you might do the same thing and she had a little panic. Just call her and reassure her. This is not a falling out biggie. This is just a friend who has a lot on her plate and has someone toxic in her family or friendship group trying to influence wedding

JosefKeller · 21/02/2020 13:10

It's a bit weird, no one usually dare saying anything when they cringe faced to toddlers wearing ridiculous suits or bow ties. Nothing worst than kids dressed in tacky outfits.

As the bride asked you to dress her own page boys, that's not even a criticism of your own taste, she clearly likes yours!

Be a good friend, she is probably dealing with MIL from hell throwing a tantrum because she doesn't get to chose the page boys outfits or something like that.

i would just ask her, what exactly do you think your kid should or should not wear as her message is totally confusing. It's not worth falling out, she doesn't even dislike your taste clearly!

ilovedjerrymore · 21/02/2020 13:10

What a weird message to receive!Confused

I’m very intrigued as to what you usually dress your child in?

Also more concerned that bride who is getting in the very near future is more worried about this then anything else?!?! Hmm

Haworthia · 21/02/2020 13:10

So now it’s unacceptable to dress your child nicely for a wedding? Waistcoats and bow ties only allowed if you’re a page boy?

As far as I’m concerned, as long as he isn’t in the page boy colour scheme it’s fine! God, some of the bitchy replies on this thread...

steff13 · 21/02/2020 13:12

I think it's a weird request. But I also don't think it's a big deal to let her pick (and I assume buy) an outfit for him. If you hate it you can always say no later.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 21/02/2020 13:12

I think it depends on how you’ve dressed him in the past. I’m going to conduct a test on you, OP.

Does this outfit look like something you’d dress your son in? 😁

To not attend DFriend's wedding because of DS?
T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 21/02/2020 13:12

Oops.

partofthepeanutgallery · 21/02/2020 13:13

I hope you've called her to discuss. Hopefully, it was a moment of stress that caused the ridiculous text....

WhateverHappenedToBathPearls · 21/02/2020 13:13

txt back "u ok hun??"

Grin

Seriously though, probably best to nip her moment of madness in the bud with a phone call rather than risk escalating it via txt.

Echobelly · 21/02/2020 13:14

It's not worth falling out over, I agree with speaking to her as otherwise it risks turning a mole hill into a mountain. Rather than saying 'No, you can't choose an outfit for him you loon', I think better to offer alternatives yourself 'You're concerned he might look like the bridal party, how about I just have him in a nice shirt and trousers, will that sort it out?' I agree it may not be her, someone else might be being precious about it- can't understand for the life of me how this is even a problem, but there you go

WeAllHaveWings · 21/02/2020 13:15

OP, can you give us an idea what you are likely to dress him in?

You must have form for dressing your child flamboyantly for a text like that to be sent.

Would you be dressing him in a standard smart plain coloured trousers/shirt/jacket (or kilt if Scottish)?

Nicolastuffedone · 21/02/2020 13:15

Dress him up like Liberace, candelabra optional

ChuckleBuckles · 21/02/2020 13:17

Nicolas a candelabra is never optional!

PicaK · 21/02/2020 13:18

I think Sara Clara had the best response. Definitely on the lines of "Mate you OK? That text isn't like you. Of course I won't spoil your look. Want you to have a really wonderful wedding. Coffee/wine?"