To think that a 75th birthday is not cause for a massive celebration?

[Spodge]

DM will be turning 75 this year and has made it known that she wants a huge fuss made of her. She made no particular fuss of DF when he turned 75. It was just treated as a normal birthday.

I've always thought that the milestone birthdays are 18 and/or 21 and then 30, 40, 50 etc.

Just interested in whether others count 75 as a milestone.

@Spodge

BAH HUMBUG amiright?

@Pebbles69

I’m so very sorry. You’re in my heart. Much love.

Oh Katzia so sorry. What a shock - things can change suddenly and partic at a good age like your dad. We all made sure my mum and dad had good yearly celebrations as they got older. My lovely old ma very unexpectedly (hale and hearty and just went) soon after her birthday. Really pleased we all had a fun day and took photos etc.
Hope your dad gets through this.

@HeronLanyon sorry for your loss but be comforted in that a good life was lived. Whilst we are shocked by what has happened to my father, he is struggling with the sudden and most likely permanent loss of his independence. It's going to be difficult and probably fractious but hopefully he'll recover and be with us for many more birthdays.

My nan was only 70 when she died. She had only turned 70 a few months before, We didn’t have do a celebration for her. She lived in another country to me. My mother was talking about doing something in the summer holidays when I’d be off school. I still feel quite sad that we never got to celebrate the milestone birthday.

As you get older, obviously you’re nearer to death. So these birthdays are extra special. I have lost people close to me who have died young. Especially recently my cousin who was 33. I think that every birthday is special. And it’s an achievement to get to 75!

I don't thinks she's BU. Tbh life is so short and you never know what happens so why not celebrate anything worth celebrating? Is there a back story, OP?

She deserves a massive fuss. My DF had great plans to live to 100 and only made it to 72. It happens to a lot of My DM only made it to 39. Give your DM a party fgs. I would love to have my parents back.

Why not? Any excuse for a celebration surely.

And if you’ve made it to 75 and still want a big knees up then I’d support them in that.

Think she probably needs and deserves a big celebration. Wow 75 and telling you what she wants is pretty impressive. 👏👏 She's probably taken a back seat to your Dad and her kids for decades and been a selfless slave. Give her the big party and make her happy - she's your one & only mum for gods sake! Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!?!

Workhard she hasn’t asked for a big party she has asked everyone to spend £1,000 on a weekend, which for most people is a lot of money to spend on a weekend.

It’s a birthday. Def worth a party

My mum died at 73. Would have loved a 75th for her.

I do something for my birthday every year. Not a party but a meal with family/night out with friends. It's my 30th this year and I'm having multiple celebrations! I'm extrovert though and love birthdays.

Some people enjoy it, YABU.

I don't really think of 30 as a milestone birthday. It seems a more recent thing. Twenty years ago none of my friends made any special deal out of it.

At that age I would just be grateful I wasnt dead yet.

You make it sound old!

Unless she has been a bad mum I’d be grateful I still had one and make nice memories, surely it was your dads place to say he wanted a fuss which I presume he didn’t - have you asked him?

If she wants to celebrate her 3/4 century of life good on her!

I am so lucky... I hope I can follow my parents' example.
They would not dream of holding a party that caused other people to be massively out of pocket.
There's some flexibility in their logic for weddings to be somewhere not cheap, but only if the venue itself is something personally special to bride/groom (such as if 2 people from different continents get married, it's understood someone's family will have to travel).

In our family we have only made a big fuss out of turning 80 or 90!

As a person that lost my father at 78,grandparents by 77, good friend at 31 and my mentor at 64, I would say let her celebrate. Why hold this against anyone? It is time we celebrate the people in our lives. Maybe your DF didn't want a party. Maybe your DM is feeling that life is getting toward the years that she will not be able to enjoy. Maybe she wants to be with her family. Or heck why not just have an awesome part, enjoy life while you can.

At that age she might not make it to another. Let her enjoy it!

Let her enjoy her birthday however she wants 🎂

"I've read the thread ineedaholidaynow but the OP didn't ask "Do you think it is reasonable expecting family members to spend £1000+pp to celebrate their birthday", she asked whether it was reasonable to celebrate a 75th birthday, so that is what people are answering."

@BackforGood - exactly. And I wish I hadn't allowed myself to be goaded into moaning about the £1k aspect of it, which then annoyed people as a drip feed.

@readingismycardio and everyone else who suspects a back story - yes there is. But I remain a dutiful daughter, regardless.

Everyone - the reason for this thread is that never, ever, even in my wider family has anyone made a fuss of 75 any more than they might any other year. Loads of them have made it to their 90s and beyond in very good health. Never has my mother said "oh what a shame so and so is not doing more for such a big birthday as 75". I was expecting, planning and budgeting for a normal gift, meal out etc. So it was a big surprise to receive notice that all of a sudden 75 is a big thing. That's what prompted me to ask whether it might actually be a big thing in the wider world and I have just been blissfully unaware all these years.

In hindsight I should never have mentioned my mother at all since for all I know the YABU votes are people telling me I am being horrid to my mother rather than telling me IABU for thinking 75 is not an especially big deal.

It’s my 47th in March but I as spent all last year undergoing treatment for cancer - I’m having a party (despite it not being a ‘special one’)

At that age I would just be grateful I wasn't dead yet.

You make it sound old!

Well, if you've read the thread, you will have picked up that many of us have loved ones who haven't made it to 75.

Yes, 3/4 of a Century is a decent age to live.
Yes, in the 21st century many others do live longer, but many don't make is that long.
I, for one, am glad we made 'a bit of a do' for my Mum's 70th, despite her saying she didn't want a party, as that was her last birthday.
So yes, if I still had a parent, I'd hope to help them celebrate a 75th.

Equally it is fine not to - but, like gib1973 - you can celebrate any year you want to.

I'd say 75 is a milestone birthday, its 3/4 of a century! Lots of people never make it to that age, once older its worth celebrating more not less (if the person wants to!).

So how are you going to celebrate it OP?