To think that a 75th birthday is not cause for a massive celebration?

[Spodge]

DM will be turning 75 this year and has made it known that she wants a huge fuss made of her. She made no particular fuss of DF when he turned 75. It was just treated as a normal birthday.

I've always thought that the milestone birthdays are 18 and/or 21 and then 30, 40, 50 etc.

Just interested in whether others count 75 as a milestone.

Yes it is. She's managed to live a bloody long time that's why. Be grateful for her presence and make a fuss of her whilst she's still hear to moan because one day you'll miss the moaning .
My father in law died 2 months ago (he was a lovely man and stepdad to oh and a kind and gentle soul). He was 61.
Stop moaning.

What a misery you are. I'd give anything to have celebrated my father's 75th. Hopefully you won't be invited!

Really sorry pebbles. Lost both my parents over the last few years. It’s tough.

And patsy and everyone else who’s lost parents.

Take the opportunity and have a dooooo! She may not be around next year. Take the opportunities when you can.

Don't think some PP have read the whole thread. The DM doesn't want a party she wants everyone to spend £1,000 at a hotel. That is not reasonable. If family can afford it I would chip in so DM and DF could have a nice weekend break away to celebrate, but just them and then maybe have a nice family lunch together at some other time.

I am 70 and I intend celebrating as many birthdays as I can.
Why should DM wanting a celebration be a problem?

Frenchie because she wants everyone to spend £1,000!

YABU. At that age, one is realistically looking at a limited number of remaining birthdays to celebrate. As others have said, when there’s no guarantee of being healthy enough to have a knees-up for your 80th, I think party while you still can is the best idea. I wish my parents had made it into their 70s.

My dad died aged 75. Don't be ridiculous. It's not any old birthday.
Sorry if there's some other shit going on between you but this wouldn't count as major shit.

Let her have her party, my father spent his 80th birthday in hospital in a coma and died the next morning so I am glad we had a party for his birthday the year before.

She is turning 3/4 of a century... not many can say that! Definitely should be making a fuss of her.

For everyone who is saying OP is BU would you spend £1,000 for a birthday celebration?

YABU she may not see 80 she may not even see 76 you can't be sure she'll see 75. Could die tomorrow

For everyone who is saying OP is BU would you spend £1,000 for a birthday celebration?

If it meant I could have celebrated my father's last birthday with him, yes. Instead he didn't even know it was his birthday.

There are special wedding anniversary’s now these days as well... Gift experiences and special days are taking over now from the traditional party, but especially now with big families and your own children from their first party up to 21, baby showers engagement parties naming verifies now 75th Birthdays, gets expensive too with friends families and your own kids 💙👍👍

This is particularly striking a chord with me as my DM turns 75 this year and she has just had a stroke 4 weeks ago. Our world has turned upside down. I hope we will be in a position to celebrate.

I also happen to think it's a pretty big milestone anyway

I've read the thread @ineedaholidaynow but the OP didn't ask "Do you think it is reasonable expecting family members to spend £1000+pp to celebrate their birthday", she asked whether it was reasonable to celebrate a 75th birthday, so that is what people are answering.

But everyone is telling OP she is mean to not let her DM have a party, but DM doesn't want a party

I found my 60th to be the biggest one I wanted to mark, so far anyway. 40 felt big, and I had my only (ever that I recall!) birthday party then. 60 was different. I didn't want a big party. On the day I took about 18 people to a lovely dinner, really good fun. DH (we) paid. The week before I took my DS/DDIL/DGS's(2) on a week long cruise to Mexico. That was marvelous. DH and I got time on our own - we had a suite, because why not? - and everyone did their own thing when they wanted to, but we ate dinner together each night. It was a beautiful time, and I totally loved being able to celebrate that way. Again, I organized and paid.

OP, what your DM is asking you to spend is outrageous, but asking you to celebrate the birthday is not.

LOVE the person who did the 'every year 0-18, 21, then 10 years for 30, 40 etc'. I turned 50 last year and finally had one of the best parties in - well decades! Now I'm trying to work out if I'd get away with a 55th prior to a 60th. - Might start an AIBU thread....

I’m all in favour of parties, so even if i hadn't thought of It I would glad l'y go along with it. But why do you seemingly not want to give your DM a party? Is it just because she didn’t do the same for your father?

I’ve just seen that she wantseveryone to spend £1000 on a hotel! That is BU.

Yes to making a nice fuss. No to spending £1000 on a hotel. My parents and inlaws would pay for us If that’s what they wanted!

Like you I always thought milestones end in 0 after 21. However my father is 85 this year. We had not planned on going home to visit for a big do but in November he had a fall, broke his shoulder then got sepsis and is still in hospital. A real shock to us as, apart from having cancer when he was 57 ( thankfully made full recovery) he is never ill, fit and lives independently. Suddenly 85 does feel a very big birthday. So there will be a trip home and a celebration provided all is well. I can also say that I'll be celebrating every year from now on as at that age you never know if it will be the last.