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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a 75th birthday is not cause for a massive celebration?

238 replies

Spodge · 20/02/2020 17:34

DM will be turning 75 this year and has made it known that she wants a huge fuss made of her. She made no particular fuss of DF when he turned 75. It was just treated as a normal birthday.

I've always thought that the milestone birthdays are 18 and/or 21 and then 30, 40, 50 etc.

Just interested in whether others count 75 as a milestone.

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 20/02/2020 17:46

Why not? She might not have many more

Alsohuman · 20/02/2020 17:47

How is celebrating a birthday being a performing monkey? Ffs chill.

TSSDNCOP · 20/02/2020 17:48

Unless you’re paying for it YABU.

TheMemoryLingers · 20/02/2020 17:48

Why is 75 any less reasonable than 18, 21, 30, 40 or 50?

TSSDNCOP · 20/02/2020 17:49

Don’t know memory something about performing monkeys and divas apparently.

HollowTalk · 20/02/2020 17:50

Just say, "I thought we'd do what you did for Dad..."

WorraLiberty · 20/02/2020 17:53

Did you dad want a big celebration?

If so, why didn't he say something like your mum has?

Good on her I say, telling people what she'd like and no, it doesn't have to be a milestone to have a big celebration.

She might not live to see 80!

StCharlotte · 20/02/2020 17:53

We celebrated my DM's 75th which I'? Glad about as she never made 76. Don't be such a curmudgeon.

ilovesooty · 20/02/2020 17:54

If she's paying for a party why not? If she's expecting you to invest significant time and money that's another matter.

StCharlotte · 20/02/2020 17:54
  • I'm
FlatterNow · 20/02/2020 17:54

As PP have said, I reckon it's to do with the number they may or may not have left. We did a big party for DM's 75th, which I'm forever grateful for as she died soon afterwards, unexpectedly. So while it's not a traditional milestone birthday it's understandable to want to mark it.

NameChangeNugget · 20/02/2020 17:55

Just say, "I thought we'd do what you did for Dad...

This entirely, it’s not a thing.

She’s being a tool

ZenNudist · 20/02/2020 17:56

If shd wants to throw a party why would you stop her?

Blackandgreenteas · 20/02/2020 17:56

I think it is.

4amWitchingHour · 20/02/2020 17:58

Maybe your DF didn't want a fuss for his 75th. She does, what's the issue?

I'd see 75 as more special than 70 or 80 tbh, probably the three quarters of a century thing

Aquamarine1029 · 20/02/2020 17:58

She sounds like an attention grabber. I'm sure this isn't something new.

Trahira · 20/02/2020 18:00

I agree with you OP - I don't think of it as a milestone birthday in the same way as 70 or 80.

AutumnRose1 · 20/02/2020 18:01

not sure
does "huge fuss" mean she expects everyone to do tons of stuff for her?

I thought dad would throw a party for his, but when he did that, he pays for everything, says "no gifts" on the invite.

he didn't have a party in the end because it was close to 50th wedding anniversary party, but we had a lovely meal in a smart place that we wouldn't normally go to.

I bought him a gift with an engraving on it to mark the occasion.

it was an "occasion" and I did research restaurants and stuff for him, quite happily.

Original poster
Spodge · 20/02/2020 18:03

I wouldn't dream of complaining if she wanted to throw a huge party. She can make as much fuss as she likes (although it would still irk me that she never even tried to make a fuss of DF's 75th).

But she is not throwing a party. She has been making noises about us all going away for a couple of nights to a hotel that will cost min. £500 per night. She's been gracious enough not to expect us to pay for her but just for ourselves...

All that said, it does seem that I am perhaps being a bit Grinch-y about the number 75.

OP posts:
AutumnRose1 · 20/02/2020 18:03

A couple of people have said it's not 70 or 80.

it's not, but the person might feel they won't make it to 80. (dad thought he'd make it to 90 but didn't make 80).

If the OP is going to say that her DM is constantly seeking attention, then it's a whole different thing.

idontlike789 · 20/02/2020 18:03

Dh is a DJ he once DJ for a 79th birthday party .

FriedasCarLoad · 20/02/2020 18:03

Yes - more so than any of the other birthday’s ending in a 5... it’s 3/4 century.

Make a fuss of her Wink

bridgetreilly · 20/02/2020 18:04

Not usually. 70 and/or 80 would normally be milestone birthdays. But if she didn't have big parties for her 70th (or 71st, 72nd, 73rd, or 74th), then fair enough. So long as she's paying.

bridgetreilly · 20/02/2020 18:05

But she is not throwing a party. She has been making noises about us all going away for a couple of nights to a hotel that will cost min. £500 per night. She's been gracious enough not to expect us to pay for her but just for ourselves...

Ah. In that case, no. She doesn't get to dictate how much everyone else will spend to celebrate her birthday.

WorraLiberty · 20/02/2020 18:05

Again, did your dad ask for a fuss for his birthday?

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